Exterior

Temporary Fix

  27.

(A/N: *Trigger WARNING*)

It'd been three days since Andy and I's argument and I'd only become more of a mess. I'd considered leaving, but I knew that chaos would be the only thing that would gain if I left. If I left, I knew that it would crush him and that he'd still come looking for me, and I was certain that the Vampire Council would make it their mission to destroy both of us.

I was trapped in the house, in my own mind and in a countless attempt to recover my sanity. I was a complete wreck and I just wanted it to end. It was around midday and I'd been watching TV all day. I caught the sight of my reflection on a vase beside me and I looked awful. My hair was all over the place and I'd never seen bags under my eyes that were that dark or large before. I'd completely lost my appetite and I just didn't want to think.

I felt like a mindless zombie and even Amy couldn't cheer me up. All day she'd been trying to talk to me but I couldn't bring myself to discuss my feelings.

I was mindlessly watching TV until my attention was drawn completely to the doorway where Andy stood. I hadn't seen him since yesterday and he looked just as awful as I did, worse even. He was wearing a large jumper and shivering uncontrollably. He was paler than usual and as he walked into the room it seemed as though he was struggling.

"Mum, I need a word." He said croakily and Amy followed him out, looking extremely concerned. He called her Mum? At least there'd been some progression in their relationship.

Amy followed him out and he almost collapsed on his way out of the door, Amy and I both looked extremely worried. She held him and took him away quickly. My heart was aching and I just wanted the pain to stop. I knew what to do to ease the pain but I hated how bad it'd gotten.

I'd always been able to control my cutting, but now I would go so much deeper and would do it several times. I stood up and groggily walked up the stairs and to my room. I lifted up my jumper sleeve and noticed the scratches that I'd created. I was so disappointed in myself but it was the only temporary fix that I could get. I sat down on my bed and put my head in my hands.

I just wanted Andy and I to be together again, but I knew that I'd somehow have to forgive him and I wasn't sure how I could do that just yet.

I wanted to recover and gain touch with my inner self again but I didn't know how.

And that's when I came up with an idea.

I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. I dialed a number and thank god the person answered.

"Hello?" Damien answered and even the sound of his voice helped me feel a bit better.

"Hey." I replied and sniffled softly.

"What's wrong, Scar?" He asked quickly and I took a deep breath. "Well, I'm at Andy's mums place because he took me to meet her and now we're having problems and it's gotten really bad and I don't know what to do anymore." I blurted and tear fell down my face.

I could hear Damien's sympathetic sigh through the phone, "Scar, breathe. It's going to be okay. What was the argument about? Did he hurt you?"

I avoided the truth slightly and told Damien that at his family party he met another girl and tried to make me jealous, then I worsened it and how he purposefully hurt me. I left out other details for obvious reasons.

"You need to just get away from him for a bit. You can stay at my place for a few days?" He offered.

"No, I can't come home. I'm avoiding my dad. I forgot to tell you, but my mum was secretly seeing him and he's back in town and I can't come home because I don't want him to find me." I lied.

"Oh okay. Well in that case. You just need to get some rest. Avoid him as much as possible, okay? Don't do anything destructive." He stressed.

~

Damien and I talked for a few hours but it didn't dull the ache in my chest or my mind completely. I just needed one release. I just had to make one more cut to make me feel better.

I walked into the bathroom and pulled out another razor. The sight of it made me feel sick but I still mindlessly continued my terrible actions.

I sat down on the familiar cool tiles and held the razor in place. "I need the pain to leave." I muttered to myself and drew the razor sideways.

But that's when my world ended.

My vision became blurry and I was in excruciating pain. I dared to look down at my arm and soon found that decision to be regrettable. Blood was flowing at a rapid speed from my veins and the last thing I watched before I passed out was the dark blood dripping from my arm.

~

A/N: Another sad, short chapter... I'm sorry! But good things are coming up soon... veryyyyyy soon ;)

I've literally been too exhausted lately to write too much, but when my motivation arises again I promise to update frequently :) x