The Intern // 5 Seconds of Summer

Stay The Night by Green Day

"Are you okay?" Ashton asks for the third time this morning.

I just nod and look back out the window, watching all the trees pass us and the humming of the traffic.

Ashton asked me out yesterday, we're official. We were kinda I guess a thing before but now the whole family knows. Not mine, but the 5sos family. 

Of course I said yes then but now... Is it too soon? Not for this relationship, but for me? How do I know I'm safe with him? 

What if he turns out like my dad?

What if he hurts me?

What if he leaves me?

I feel like I should of say maybe and gave myself time to think. What am I getting myself into? Let alone the fear that's bubbling in my stomach, what about after this is over? He isn't gonna want to come home with me. No one wants to come to Canada. 

And I sure as hell can't afford to go to Australia, even with all the money I've gathered from working here cause that isn't much.

"Ryan..." He says, reaching over the table and wiping my cheek. "Don't cry, please. What's wrong? Do you miss home? Is it the trees? Its probably the trees." He goes to shut the curtain but I take his hand, putting it down onto the table and holding it in my own.

"I... You're such a dork." I bite my lip and chuckle, shaking my head. I try to form words in my head before choking anything out. "Its not the trees."

"Are you sick?" He gives me a worried look. "Do you need anything? Are you, uh, having lady problems?" He asks quietly and I smile a bit on the inside.

"No, Ash, its not that. I feel like I haven't been as honest or open with you as I should of been." I confess and I face him.

"What do you mean? You're worrying me." He sits up and takes my hand. He rubs his thumb on the back of mine.

I just sigh and close my eyes, I feel them water under the lids. I can't cry, not infront of Ashton. I've gotta be tough. I hear quick movements and open my eyes to see Ashton making his to sit beside me on the table. I scoot over for him and he puts his arm around his shoulder, pulling me close into him and I rest my head onto his shoulder.

:"You don't have to talk." He says quietly. "I can connect the pieces, I just wanted to see if you'd trust me." He says as he kisses my forehead.

I just hiccup a little yes and nuzzle my head into his shoulder more. I shouldn't bother him with my problems. He shouldn't have to deal with this. Cmon, pick up your pieces. 

Ashton isn't my dad, I know that. He's different but everyone loses their cool and I can't help but be afraid. I play it of tough but I don't know if I could hit him back.

"T-Thank you." I smile. "I'm s-sorry." I say, moving over so he gets up. He does but lifts his eyebrows.

"Why are you sorry?" He shrugs and follows behind me as I head towards the bunks.

"I didn't mean to have a mental breakdown." I shrug, trying to be short so maybe he'll want to leave.

He gives me sad eyes and I crawl onto my bed.

"He hit me, you know?" I say, cuddling my pillow onto my chest. He just nods and he goes to talk, but I continue. "He left when I was about sixteen. And now I've lost my mom." I sigh and look up towards the roof. "A few days ago, i"d ask 'why me? oh, why me?' but I guess I see now."

"I don't understand..." He said, his hands on his face as though he were about to cry for me.

"I'm a bitch. I don't see why you even chose me." I bit my lip. "I'm a fuck up." 

"Oh, Ryan..." Ashton sniffles, leaping off the bunk infront of me and coming to sit beside me.

Again, he pulls me onto him and forces me to lay on him, my head on his chest and I just sigh in relief.

"Remember when I said I'd protect you? I meant it. I didn't just say that." He squeezes me. "Now no crying. I'm gonna do the talking, okay?" 

"Okay, I guess." I nod.

"Sh... No talking." He whispers and he kinda giggles at his own comment.

"You're not funny." I whisper quietly into his shirt.

"I might have my moments and the world might throw me off but I will never, ever hurt you or take out my anger on you. You're too amazing for that. Really." He continues as though I never said anything. I feel him run his hands down my back and my spine get chills. "Let's stay like this, okay?" 

I just smile and close my eyes as I breath in his scent. We seem to stay like that for a while and when I finally become mostly asleep, I could swear I heard Ashton and Luke talking but it could of been just me. 

"Sleep. I'll wake you when we get there." He says as he shuffles his body so that we're both laying down this time and he reaches over me to pull up my blanket and hold me tighter.

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Authors nore:

Sorry this is short. I've had a cold for a few days and I haven't been feeling so well. Trying my best though. :)

Don't forget to keep up with Dukkha.

Also thanks for all the comments and votes. Don't stop!