Love Overcast // (ManxMan)

=Chapter 34=

A/N: I need to preface this with saying that I'm putting the story on hold for a week or two. More on that at the end. There is a mention of Skylar's birthday being in the past, don't worry I didn't skip it. I just think it would be more suitable to put this chapter here before going back and talking about his birthday.

Owen: Appreciate the finer things in life... like my newly improved sense of humour since I broke up with Roman... *smirks*

[Owen]

*~*~*

The life of the dead,

Is placed in the memory of the living.

The life of the living,

Was anchored in the blessings of the dead.

*~*~*

It's one of those days.

I can only count my blessings that I am able to get out of work for the day. It's for the best anyway, it isn't a good idea to put me in a room with injured animals when I am so down and broken inside. While counting blessings, another blessing would be having the opportunity to spend the day at Jameson's apartment.

It's just the perfect size for one person and the area is very nice and nature friendly, lifting my mood ever so slightly. Not to mention, there is so much natural light coming in, his walls might as well be made of glass.

I sit idly on a window sill looking out at the green grass just outside of the apartment complex. Petra is having her daily dose of physical activity, running around with her tongue out and tail wagging. Jameson making her to chase him down with taunting whistles and swift steps. For a massive man, he is very agile.

It took a serious amount of persuading to get Jameson to leave me here alone and get himself some exercise, he needs it more than Petra I think. He's one of those creatures that just enjoys the breeze on bare skin and grass on his surprisingly well pedicured toes.

I also convinced Jameson to give me this week off from counselling. That started after Skylar's birthday in late June, now it's mid-July and I've gone every week for 4 sessions. I have to admit, the sessions don't help me as much as Jameson is convinced it does. I don't dare to disillusion him though, he is truly a blessing that I didn't work hard enough for.

Jameson went with me of course, and I gladly let him be in the room as I spoke because it was easier with his presence there. He is learning how to deal with me and he is incredibly serious when it comes to my health and wellbeing.

We talked extensively about my self-harm issues, the roots of it, how I feel about it then and now, and of course, what made me stop. It always felt as though the therapist was trying to dissect my brain when asking me questions. In a way, it made me uncomfortable but she made it a point to reassure me that I didn't have to share anything if I'm not comfortable with it. Surely, Jameson silently agreed because he would seriously pick a fight with anyone that forced me to do anything.

I continue my silent staring. The unassuming nature of Jameson's natural charisma definitely shines through the most when he is relaxed, and I'm glad to be the one to help him ease into civilian life once again. He's been to therapy a few times himself and I've been there for him every step of the way.

Seeing him so carefree really does make me want to match his enthusiasm but on this particular day, I want to lay in bed and sleep it away.

It's a very long process to get over the death of someone, especially someone as dear to my heart as my own two parents. The day can only be described as fragmented and incomplete in my memories, so many things are foggy and unclear when I try to recall the things that happened. I'm not recalling for the sake of grief, I've already done that, I'm recalling so I don't forget what my two wonderful mothers gave me and the reason I lost them.