Love Overcast // (ManxMan)

=Chapter 28=

A/N: How about a little Seb in casuals? Eh?

[Sebastien]

I can't juggle, not physically, not figuratively.

Seems that recently has only been tirades of mistakes flowing in and out of my peripheral. I keep losing sight of my priorities, and among that, new priorities form. One moment I have to see this friend, the next I'm phoning a catering service for Leonardo. One moment I am booking my small vacation to Whistler, the next I am forgetting about my son.

I get up from my car, my heart just about palpitating while I take the box of assorted chocolates from the passenger seat. Quickly, I toss the key to the valet and punch in the code to Leonardo's apartment building.

Never have I ever been so troubled in my entire life. On one end, I am trying to woo Leonardo back into my arms. On the other, I am fighting the urge to call Skylar again. The two people are of equal importance to me.

In a flurry of haste, I guess it's not too far-fetched to think that my subconscious recognizes the importance of Leonardo. In retrieving him, I may be able to solve my problem with Skylar, but of course, Skylar's side of the equation has broken down terribly before I even got the chance to meet with Leonardo.

I tried calling Skylar again and again, but he just seems to have abandoned his phone after our initial conversation. I forgot to tell him I am planning to go to Whistler with Leonardo as an apology. I don't know what the fuck I am doing anymore.

Now I stand in front of Leonardo's door, struggling to ring the fucking doorbell because of my fat ass fingers and shaky hands. Finally, I catch the button with my finger and the sharp jingle rings in my ear. The noise is so loud inside my cochlea that I feel a headache forming.

"Coming!" I smile very faintly at Leonardo's voice. Feeling slightly light headed. The locks click in a disorienting noise before the door opens. Leonardo is wearing an apron over a very loose sweater, the moment he catches my face, the door slams shut again.

I can't hear any footsteps so I assume he's trying to avoid me. My heart breaks as both sides of the equation tumble. I've lost Skylar's trust and I couldn't fix it, now I've fucked up with Leonardo too. In a heap of frustration and despair, I drop to my knees.

My forehead slumps into the wooden door harshly, the pain barely administering a tingle in my brain. I put my hands on the floor, seeing sweat drip onto the granite tiles as my peripheral vision escapes me. Colors seem to diminish as I kneel there, the box of chocolate laying against the door frame. My heart beating quicker than when I am exercising, breaths coming out like I am having a heat stroke.

Please just let me love you... My eyes start watering. Tears and sweat blending into one bead before falling to the tiles. I keep racing in my head to try recover everything, the hotel cancellation in Whistler, figuring out where Skylar is and apologizing on my own without guidance, everything just keeps piling into my brain. I just couldn't take it anymore.

It's not stress, I don't think. I wouldn't be stressed to take care of all things for or relating to people I love. My son, Leonardo, the gallery show, helping out Ryland. It is like I am going back a few years, back when Grace and I were still living together. There were so many things to do, and I'm only one brain and one pair of hands.

I look down at the puddle; sweat, tears and now blood as my teeth dig into my lip like a knife. I lift my head and smash my forehead against the door, letting out a strangled groan at the lack of pain. My airways have constricted to a point where breathing is audible from a meter away. "Sebastien?" Leonardo asks from the other side of the door, "Sebastien?" He repeats.