Love Overcast // (ManxMan)

=Chapter 35=

Franklin: What do you mean who I am? Rude!! (Model by Joseph Cannata)

[Jameson]

*~*~*

Don't fix what's not broke;

Unbreak what's unfixable.

*~*~*

Recovery was due not only for Owen, but me too.

He had faced his inner most fears, and yet here I am cowering behind his much smaller shadow as if I'm too afraid to bring some pain to reset a dislocated bone. It's not on purpose that I am running away, of course, since it's only been two weeks after his parents' death anniversary.

However, today is in fact my day to face a demon of my own.

He's not so much a demon than an angel. Only catch is that I was the one responsible for shooting down this angel. He is a fierce soldier, and I was the closest to him not as his superior, but a great friend. While I stayed uptight and closed off during free time, he is personable, incredibly supportive and pretty much beacon of morale boosts for everyone around him.

Months after fighting with switchblades and guns, he is still crawling his way to recovery, he might not ever walk the same from what I understand but he dodged the chances of being an amputee. If he were to lose his leg completely, I would never forgive myself.

Much like Owen, the day that changed me was a blur to me. As professionals explained to me, I sustained a hefty blow to the head which resulted in a concussion and on top of that I also managed to develop a case of PTSD. The memory blockade is basically impenetrable and if I tried too hard to think about it, I break apart.

I suppose part of the fear is, if I met Franklin again, I might remember things that I have subconsciously supressed. My nightmares are usually some sort of amorphous combination of imagination and memory, sometimes it's completely fantastical and other times it's extremely realistic. Most of all, I feel helpless because I wouldn't be able to move a bone, something resembling sleep paralysis.

Amidst all this, I have Owen to thank who pulls me away from the dark abyss. He gives me a reason to wake up early and make breakfast, go online to learn how to not be computer illiterate, pursue my dreams and keep me active. All while I hang on to the anticipation of him returning from his tiresome job.

I've also mustered up the courage to contact my mother again, primarily due to Leonardo's words a while ago at the fitness centre opening. He's right, my mother, although tough and independent, is still living by her lonesome and it would only be right for me to check in more often.

Speak of the devil, her name lights up my phone screen as I blink my eyes and set aside my reading glasses to pick up the phone. "Good evening, mamma."

"You sound a little off, sweetie. Are you alright?" Of course, nothing gets past mother dearest. As a result of my brother's disorder, she's grown very sharp in her sixth, seventh and eighth sense. For predicting omens, love and bull-shittery.

"Hmm... Just missing your home-made food..."

"Yeah, right." I can practically hear her eyes rolling a full three-sixty. "It's alright if you don't want to tell me, just don't go around sulking everywhere like you used to." 

"I do not do that!"

"Whatever makes you sleep better at night, sweetie." She teases, a round of elderly laughter in the background. Probably having a party of sorts with her friends. "Listen, your brother called me last night and started balling his eyes out about something or another. I can't quite make it out because of the hiccups and my old ears. Go check up on him alright?"