Typed • h.e.s

Chapter 35: Take It Slow

"Harry Styles confirms relationship with Tara Shaw"

"From under the covers to the hot tub, One Direction's Harry Styles posts photos of his fan fiction writer, Tara Shaw in Instagram and Vine yesterday.

Harry was spotted with Tara's brother, Ashton Shaw in a coffee shop in Newcastle hours before Styles posts photos of Tara and him together."

Ellie reads me a part of the article she saw about me and Harry while I'm in my bed.

"Tara?" "Oh. Uhm, yes. I'm here." I say and turn to my left as I cuddle a pillow. "

"I just couldn't believe that this is reality now..." I say over the phone and sat on my bed whilst talking to Ellie. "He told me he fancied me before when we were on tour. I...I just couldn't...breathe after hearing him say it." I tell her. "Oh, Tara! Wake up! You're with Harry now! Aren't you happy?" she asks me and she sounds like scolding me too. "I am. I am really happy. Very happy." I say with a laugh. "I'm just scared... I've lately been receiving... threats... Ellie, I... I don't know if I could still come back to London after this. But I just don't understand why would he fall in love with me? My thighs are even bigger than his. I... I don't hang out that much... I just stay in my room eating bags of crisps or sleep... Why would he ever like me? You know that I love him so much... so much than anything else in the world now except my family but he... Harry... he didn't care that much about the past... about what we had before... He remembered everything but he does not talk about it much. I just don't want things to be so fast... I don't think he's even serious. I mean---" I tell Ellie what I worry about Harry until someone cuts me.

"Tara..."

I turn my head to look where I heard the voice from and Harry is inside, standing next to the door. I ended the call and he walks towards me.

"Why aren't you telling me those things?" he asks as he sits beside me. "Were you listening to me?" I feel nervous that he might get mad at me that I told it to Ellie than him. "Everything." He says and nods. "I'm sorry." I say. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asks and I didn't know what to answer than the truth. "I don't know. I just feel so afraid." I answer. "Afraid? Scared? I don't want you to feel that." He says. "But..." "I'm still the Harry you have been with for ten months and in tour. Why would you feel so scared of me?" he says and holds my hand. I remained silent thinking what to answer him. "I don't care if you don't hang out much, go clubbing or thighs, my heart beats for you and yeah... I just love you for who you are and not what you do and look like." He says. It was really touching. He's very romantic and I just want to tell him something but I think that he would feel bad about it. "Are we going too fast?" I ask and he looks at me.

"Look, we're all over Twitter and in the internet, this didn't happen before, I'm not... used--- Everything is just too fast for me." I tell him. "From the moment you told me you...you...love me until everyone knew it... " I add. "Why would you care about it? About what they think about us? They don't know what we've been through." He says. "Tara, I would let the world know how I love you so they won't think that this is some kind of romance made up by someone but this is real love." He says with a smile but I pull my hand away from him. "Is this right?" I ask as I stand from my seat, walking away from him. "Tara..." "Harry..." I breathe deeply and I couldn't explain what I feel anymore. "I love you but... we're taking things too fast. I don't even... like it." I tell him. "We have been together before and this is just like a continuation... And besides... I love you and you love me." "That is not my point."  I say as I look straight to his eyes. "I think you didn't hear the whole thing I told Ellie." I add.

"I've been receiving threats from your fans." I tremble as I say. "Harry, I didn't want this to happen. They are millions and I am just one. Have you even read what they've been sending me on Twitter?!" Tears start to stream down my face as I tell him my problem. "We'll solve that." He stands in front of me and I shake my head. "They're thinking that I'm using you for the book. They think that this relationship is just a play. They think that I... I am sh^t. Harry, I don't know if I could still safely go back to my flat when I get back to London soon." I say as I wiped my tears and Harry holds both of my hands again. "Babe, I can solve this. We'll live together again." He says but I shake my head again. "We took everything too fast. We...we were like in a hurry..." I add. "Tara... Are you breaking up with me?" He asks and I raise my head to him. Our eyes met and he looks so worried for the next words that will come out of my mouth. "We just have to separate ways for the mean time. I will tell you the truth that I honestly don't want to... don't want to go back to London. With you." I say but instead of him letting go of my hands, he holds me tighter. "We just came back together..." He reasons out. "Harry, why are we in a hurry?" "Because I need you. I love you." He answers. "Can you give me time... I just feel... so bad..." I tell him and he just tightens the grip to my hands. "Harry, I'm no celebrity that there are securities to protect me. I'm actually no one." "I'll give you security." He says. "No... It's just that---" "But this didn't happen before." "Today's different." I answer and pulled my hands away from him.

"I'm sorry." I say and walked out of my room.

I ran downstairs and looked around to where I can go before Harry sees me. I went outside the house, by the garden where I sat down and tried to hold my tears.

We just came back together and I've decided to ask space from him. The world will think that I had three days of relationship with Harry.