Lost and Found

Chapter Twenty-one

Sometimes it's better to lose and do the right thing. Than to win doing the wrong -Tony Blair

***

I ended up calling Hailey for a ride. She had the radio on full blast and sung along with every line. I, on the other hand, tried to disappear from the world. When I walked into the small room that Layla and I shared I noticed she wasn't there but I was too exhausted to care. I texted her that I was home and fell into a deep sleep.

She finally stumbled into the bedroom at two in the morning. "Are you drunk?" I asked. She laughed. "Go to bed loser."

That was the last important thing that happened for a month. Then on the first of February. I was walking out of school to my truck, headphones in, when an alert interrupted Legends by Kelsea Ballerini. I sighed but ignored it. Knowing my phone, it was probably junk mail. Next, a text from Ethan popped up. I ignored it. That boy didn't know how to give up.

"Jul!" I heard somebody say. I whipped around to see Jess running my way, her hands filled with supplies.

Although Jess and I were friends, I could feel her drifting away once again.

"Yeah?" I asked, confusion playing on my voice. Why wasn't she getting a ride with Ian like normal.

She dropped all the supplies in her arms in the back of my truck.

Jessica put her hands on her knees, clearly out of breath. "I need a ride," she told me.

"What happened to your boy toy?" I asked sarcastically. If Jess still knew me then she would take this as a joke, not an insult.

She didn't disappoint. She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Very funny. And for your information, we broke up."

I gasped. Jess wasn't even sad. I couldn't believe it. "What? Why?"

Jess shook her head playfully. Then, she held up her phone. "Ian got his acceptance letter to California yesterday. I got mine an hour ago. We decided that it wasn't going anywhere. So we broke up."

It took me a minute to process her words. But when I did I enclosed her in a hug. Then backing away while bouncing up and down. "You got in!"

She nodded, a smile filled her face. "I'm gonna be a Buffalo. How about you?"

"Nothing yet."

"Are you sure. Give me your phone."

Snatching the phone, she quickly scrolled through my inbox. I rolled my eyes. She was searching for something that wouldn't be found.

"Oh," she finally squeaked. "Found it!"

"What?" I responded, grabbing my phone from her hand.

I took a deep breath. I needed to think of something sad so I wouldn't be to hurt when I found out that I didn't get in. Oh, I thought, it's Piper's and my dad's three year anniversary. They been dead for three years today. Great, now I'm depressed.

"I can't. I'll wait till tomorrow," I said as I turned off my phone.

Jess turned my phone back on. "Jul, you've been waiting for this moment for eight years. Check it."

I smiled. Then, holding my breath, I pressed open on the email. I read over the words "accepted" and "scholarship." I was going to be a marching buffalo. I put my hand over my mouth and a tear fell from my eye.

"Well?" Jess questioned.

"I got in!"

"Really?"

"Yeah." My words were filled with the tears that were now flowing from my eyes. "Got a band scholarship too."

"Oh my gosh!" Jess jumped up and down with jazz hands. Quickly they dropped as she said, "That never happened."

"Come on loser. I have a date I need to attend."

As we were driving home I had to ask Jess what was on my mind.

"Jess," I started, turning towards the passenger side, "do you think that it's strange that on the same day my dad died I get a letter accepting me into the school I've always wanted to go to?"

"What do you mean?" Jess responded.

"Nevermind."

I stared out the window at the road but my thoughts were in a different time and place.

I waited patiently, pacing back and forth. I checked my phone once again. I wiped a stray tear from my eye. He said he'd be here.

It had been four months since my dad and step-mother died. I had been rather depressed since then. Ethan had been slowly drifting away ever since. About a month ago I received a text from him saying he no longer wished to be friends. He said that it was too difficult to be friends with somebody who was always depressed. But yesterday I received a different text. One saying that he wanted to give us another chance.

But instead here I am. Waiting for something that would never come. I could feel a part of my heartbreak off. Looking at the ground, I saw my feet walk towards my truck. A few seconds later I was pulling out of the drive. But in my mirror, I saw a flash of a car. I squinted, trying to get a good look at the person inside the vehicle, and sure enough, I saw Ethan in the driver's seat.

But we were supposed to meet an hour ago. Just like once before, he was a little bit too late. I looked back one last time.

He had done this once before. Fury filled me. He always loved to play with my heart. Ethan knew I liked him and he used that to his advantage. He used it as a way to leave and come back into my life. But now, only a few months after the most tragic thing that had ever happened to me, I needed something I could depend on. I needed something that could make me feel at home...and happy. I didn't need an emotional rollercoaster. So I did what was best for me.

"Goodbye, Ethan," I whispered.

Then, I pressed on the gas, leaving him in the dust.

Suddenly my phone went off, waking me from my trance. I looked over at it. Ethan's face flashed onto the screen. Why can't he just give up? I let a sigh escape from my lips.

"You gonna get that?" Jess asked quietly. I shook my head. She looked at me, worry across her face. "Why not?"

"I told him I just wanted to be friends. His reaction is the obvious."

Jess's head turned to her lap. "I don't understand why you won't just let yourself be happy."

"Look, Jess, once again Ethan was just...a little too late."

"Huh."

Oh, I thought, I forgot she wasn't there for that. "Nevermind," I said once again.