Dreamer. [joshler]

twelve. Not a Date

I woke up the next morning with Tyler having a massive headache and crying into my chest because his head hurt so much, god he's so fragile.

-

It's been a few weeks, they were slow but fun. I took Tyler out a few times to special places and we would take pictures, sometimes it was just for fun. I enjoyed just spending time with him, I hope he did too. But something odd has started to happen, sometimes when he cried he didn't want me to hold him. He'd cry alone in another room and every time I tried to comfort him he'd get mad and yell at me telling me to go away, afterwards he feel bad for yelling at me and get really quiet. Keeping his distance. It really had me worried, by now we were best friends and he always let me comfort him. Sometimes when asked him what was wrong he'd tell me "it's something I can't tell you about".

"Josh?" I looked up at him, breaking myself from my thought.

Carefully he wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his head on my chest. I was confused but hugged him back. He hugged me longer than I expected, odd.

"Are you ok?" I asked, I don't know why but I felt like something was wrong.

He didn't answer but simply hugged me tighter, I gently ran circles over his back to comfort him. After a moment he finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry," his voice was so small, it worried me.

"You did nothing wrong though?" He finally pulled away and kept his eyes down.

Tears coated his cheeks and he sniffled lightly. I frowned and gently grabbed his face with both hands, wiping the tears away.

"Don't be sorry for crying, everyone cries." I saw him crack a tiny smile before a small giggle escaped his lips.

"I'm not sorry for that," he poked my chest and I looked down, there was a wet spot from tears.

I laughed lightly and nudged him, he laughed shyly.

"Guess I need a new shirt." I made my way to Tyler's room, technically ours.

-

-Tyler-

I still sort of felt bad for messing Josh's shirt up. I never really got to actually apologize to him. I thought about it for a moment, maybe I could just go in there and say sorry real quick and then leave. I made my way towards my room and without thinking I just opened the door and walked in. I was greeted with Josh sitting down with no shirt on, I skidded to a halt. He was reading something on his phone, his back looked so muscular. I just wanted to run my hand over it-

"Hello? Earth to Tyler," I looked at him startled, he had stood up.

I blushed lightly from embarrassment, I found myself staring again. Everything was just muscular and toned, I could just reach out and-

I was cut off by him clearing his throat. Now he had a shirt on. My face grew hot and it felt like the walls were closing in, I couldn't breathe.

"Is there anything you need?" He looked worried.

I stumbled back.

"N-no-" I shut the door and ran to the front door, opening it and taking in a deep breath.

I just needed fresh air that's all, god I don't know what's wrong with me. Odd things have been happening to me in the past few weeks. I'm so confused. I keep getting these weird feelings when Josh holds me when I cry, it feels like I'm floating but it also feels like my stomachs trying to turn itself inside out. When he touches me it's like...electricity! And not static. We might've been best friends but I've grown more nervous when I'm around him, I feel like he won't like me if I do something wrong. I always feel bad too, sometimes I cry alone. And when I do I yell at him and tell him to go away, because if he's there then it'll make me break down and cry even more. I wanna be alone when I cry sometimes because I'm confused, I don't know why I feel this way. I'm confused about how I feel about Josh. It feels like I'm falling through a hole, and falling hard.

-

-Josh-

I was concerned for Tyler, he was just acting strange all day. I hope the little encounter that happened this afternoon didn't affect anything, it was really nothing. Oh god, I didn't scare him did I? I walked into the living area and found Tyler lazily watching tv, I sat down next to him and joined in. We didn't speak for a while, I decided I would speak up first, clearing my throat.

"I'm sorry about that thing that happened...earlier. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." I looked over at him for reassurance but he just continued staring at the tv.

"S'ok." He mumbled.

"Are you sure?" He didn't look sure.

He simply nodded, I sighed. I felt like it wasn't ok but I guess whatever. I wanted to do something special, just me and him. No taking pictures, no setting a camera up, just enjoying some time together. There was a nice cafe not too far from here that was opening for dinner tonight, maybe I could take him there and then take him somewhere else. Somewhere more special. I glanced over at him nervously, why was I so nervous? It's not like I'm asking him on a date, it's not like that...to him. Wait-we're just friends.

"Uh hey," he looked over at me for the first time.

"Hi."

"Do you want to go out to dinner tonight, and then after that we can go somewhere special?" Fuck why am I nervous.

"Like a date?" His face contorted.

"No, no. Just spending sentimental time as two best friends." I smiled looking for reassurance.

"Then okay," finally he grinned up widely at me.

I felt so much relief, I let go of a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"How should a dress?" He asked out of curiosity.

"Dress however you want." I smiled warmly.

-

I waited a while for Tyler to finished getting ready, I let him take his time. I was just about to knock on his door and ask him if he was done when it flew open, Tyler filled the frame.

"How do I look?" He grinned.

He wore a light blue tee with little flowers embroidered into it with black skinny jeans and white shoes. His hair was styled but still it's normal sloppy.

"You look amazing." He smiled down bashfully, cheeks dusting a light pink.

"You too," he muttered, keeping his head down.

I gently placed a hand lightly on his back and lead him to the door, opening it for him and locking it behind me. I helped him into my car and got situated myself, the cafe was too far to walk to. I started the engine and slowly pulled out into the busy road. Everything was quiet except for the hum of the engine and music playing quietly on the radio, Tyler hummed along to it lightly, I could barely hear him. I carefully turned the volume up just a little and he hummed louder, beginning to mumble the words. I turned the volume up more and he began singing along, I turned it up even more to where it was on the brink of loud. He sang along loudly and passionately, it was beautiful I was stunned. I waited till he was finished before speaking up.

"That was amazing Tyler, your voice is extraordinary!" His cheeks turned a light crimson and he laughed at his hands in his lap, catching his breath.

"It's nothing really," was he kidding?

"What do you mean? You have talent!" I exclaimed, his cheeks flushed a darker shade.

"Thank you..." he muttered.

I continued to drive to the cafe, pulling up and parking shortly after. We walked to an outside table and I pulled a chair out for Tyler, sitting in my own. He smiled politely at the waiter when they brought out our food for us, I couldn't help but admire Tyler's features. His nose sloped perfectly and his hair danced in the wind brushing against his forehead. Thick lashes fanned his porcelain skin, eyelids concealed beautiful brown eyes that glittered with awe. Cherry lips that caressed into a smile, they looked so soft and smooth. Sudden and like an urge I wanted to feel them on mine, on my skin. I restrained myself from jumping across the table and tackling him. He was so innocent, if only he could know.