It's complicated.

It's complicated - Chapter 18

Harry p.o.v

I haven't seen Flora for a nearly week, and every day I find it harder to control my emotions, hide how upset I am, and the thing that confuses me is, Lauren says she's ill, and her and Louis have been to see her everyday for the last 4 days, but whenever I asked Louis what's really wrong with her, he'll mutter something about her being sick and won't even be able to look me in the eye. 

The worst part is I think all the others know, even Juliette, probably the reason why I'm going through this hell now, I've forgiven her, but it's all of them I'm upset with now, whole conversations will stop if I go into a room.

I don't understand why no-one will tell me, I'm worried sick, how could it possibly hurt her to let me know? I don't expect her to forgive me yet, she hates me and I don't blame her, but I'm worried about just how 'ill' she is if that's even the truth.

We're all at Liam's flat, and I agreed to go and make the tea, I try and call Flora again in a last ditch attempt, she doesn't answer and I slam my phone on the counter in anger. 

I take my anger out on stirring the milk into all the cups splashing it everywhere, chucking the spoon into the sink where it makes a loud clattering sound, I pick up the tray heading back towards the living room, I'm outside the door when I hear Flora's name, I stop barely wanting to breath, seeing what else I can hear, I think the voice is Lauren. 

"I don't know when she's planning to tell him ......" Definitely Lauren. TELL ME WHAT!?

"I mean she's pregnant it's a big thing, and after what happened...." 

I feel the tray slip from my grasp and crash around my feet, I can't even gather my thoughts without feeling dizzy, she's pregnant? with me? she's having my baby and she hasn't even told me? and they all know? my best friend's know and even they don't tell me. 

The cups break around my feet soaking my socks in scalding hot tea. 

"Harry!?" I hear voices and feet scuffling as the door opens and the faces of the guilty party looking at me, I'm incapable of saying anything, all I can see is my vision being blurred by what I suppose must be tears, I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders pulling me into the living room and sitting me down on a sofa. 

One sentence I catch is ; 

"I guess he heard then" I feel like screaming at them, yes of course I fucking heard, and it's about time I did. But I can't bring myself to move, after a about an hour, of comforting with no response from me, I manage to utter my first line. 

"Is she really pregnant?" I whisper, my voice is huskier than usual from the crying so it's barely audiable. 

"Well..." Starts Zayn. 

"Please don't bullshit me" I say almost pleading. 

"Yes" Says Lauren, I nod as if I have taken it in. But I haven't really, I suppose I've accepted the fact of it, and it's not a problem for me I still love her, and I'm prepared to look after her, I just wanted it to come from Flora, but I suppose she would have told me in the end, be it 9 months down the line.

 "It's alot to take in right?" Says Louis. 

"Just a bit" I say moodily looking at my feet. But I can't blame her for not saying anything yet, I hurt her, and in the emotional state she would be, I'm not suprised, why would she want to have a baby with me?

"don't worry, that's probably natural" He says. 

"I just don't understand why she didn't tell me"  I say. 

"She was planning to, I saw her this morning" Speaks up Lauren. 

"Really?" I say looking up hopefully, she nods. 

I'm a bit confused about what to do now? I suppose I'm gonna have to wait for her to tell me, and then I can be there for her, get my head around it, gather my thoughts so I can comfort her in that moment instead of needing comforting myself, maybe it's a good thing she hasn't told me yet, but overall, I'm happy, if I had to get a girl pregnant, I'd rather it was her than anyone else. 

"Guys, I'm going out for a bit, to think about things" I say. 

"See you later Hazzles" Says Louis patting me on the back as I get up and grab my Coat, pulling on my shoes. 

I'm going where I always go to think about things, the lake. 

I drive quickly probably over the limit and reach there within 5 minutes, I slam the brakes on parking skewiff, when I notice another car, someone else knows about my secret place?

realisation strikes me as I look at it, a cream fiat 500, it's Flora's car.