amer-doux l'amour • brallon [✔]

Chapter Six- Calendar (Pt. 2)

A/N- Just started writing and How to Save a Life by The Fray came on. I'm actually gonna cry. This is NOT OKAY. I also apologize if you don't ship Ryden. It's important to the plot, trust me

May 6, 2008

Brendon lifted his head from the soft pillow, looking around in the darkness, he turned on the bedside lamp, turning to the other side of the bed and sighed.
It had been two weeks since Brendon was released the hospital. But Ryan was still in care of the hospital. His injuries had been much worse than Brendon's. Brendon had visited Ryan frequently, of course.
"Come home soon Ry." Brendon whispered, picking up the pillow from the other side of the bed and hugged it tightly, finally falling asleep with the lights on.

>>>>>

The alarm wasn't what woke Brendon up the next, it was
Jon Walker, Brendon's friend.
"Hey Brendon, you up?" Jon knocked on the bedroom door softly.
Brendon stirred for a moment before jolting upwards in the bed. "Hmm? Oh... Yeah! I'm up!" Brendon called out, climbing out of bed and stretching out his back.
"Alright I'm coming in." Jon opened the door.
"Good morning, Jon." Brendon messed with his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. He needed a haircut badly.
"More like good afternoon." Jon pointed to the alarm clock that read 2:43 PM.
"Shit..." Brendon sighed, "Jon I-"
"You promised me and the others you'd go to lunch. This is the fifth time you've done this or made an excuse not to." Jon folded his arms.
"I just haven't been getting much sleep because of-"
"Ryan. I know. We all know, Brendon." Jon sighed, "But sitting here grieving and waiting for him to come home all the time isn't good for you."
"I miss him, Jon. Do you not understand that?" Brendon gave Jon a hurt look.
"I know you miss him. But haven't you thought about-"
"About what?" Brendon folded his arms angrily.
"Ryan might not come home." Jon said softly.
"No. Shut the hell up right now. Ryan is coming home. He's coming home and he's going to be okay."
Jon pressed two fingers to his temple, "And do you know? How do you know, Brendon?"
"Because I know Ryan! He's a fighter. He's going to recover and be okay. I know it." Brendon sniffed back tears.
"But you don't! Just because Ryan's a fighter... Brendon, sometimes you win fights, and sometimes you lose them." Jon cleared his throat.
"He's going to live! He's going to- I just... I know it...."
Jon sighed walked towards Brendon, pulling him into a hug, "It'll be okay..."
"No."
"What?"
"No!" Brendon shouted pushing away from the hug, "It's not going to be okay! Not until Ryan's safe and home! Nothing's okay without him! He's the reason I keep going! I love him, Jon but you clearly don't care what I say or think! Some friend you are-"
In the split second Jon smacked Brendon harshly across the cheek, there were already tears going down his face.
"Fuck you." Brendon spat.
"Brendon I'm sorr-"
"Just! Get out..." Brendon sniffed.

And Jon did.

Brendon sat at the window, looking down at Ryan's lyric book. He traced softly over the leather cover, his other hand fidgeting with the ribbon bookmark hanging from the page. He had gotten the book for Ryan's birthday.
He remember the day well.
Just as Brendon was about to give it to Ryan, he had drop it. Into a puddle. Brendon had profusely apologized, offering to get him another. But Ryan kept that book despite water damage. And that meant the world to Brendon.

>>>>>

It was around 9:00 PM that Brendon headed to the hospital to see Ryan. He parked his temporary rental car in the hospital parking lot, sitting in the quiet car for a moment and finally getting out and slowly making his way to the doors.
Brendon entered, walking up to the front desk.
"Pleasant seeing you here again, Mr. Urie. Here for Ryan?" The receptionist smiled.
"Yes," Brendon nodded, "Can I see him?"
"Yes you can, you remember the way to his room?-"
"Down the hall, up the stairs, third room on the right." Brendon recalled, "Thank you." And he set off down the hall, up the stairs, and slowly cracked the door open.
"But who could love me? I am out of my mind. Throwing a line out to sea to see if I can catch a dream."
"The sun was always in her eyes... She didn't even see me." Brendon sang, entering the room.
Ryan smiled brightly at Brendon from the hospital bed, "You came."
Brendon pulled up a chair, leaning in and kissing Ryan's forehead, "I always do."
"Why?" Ryan asked simply, making Brendon smile sadly, "Because I love you Ryan." Ryan brought a hand up to cup Brendon's cheek, "I love you too, Bren."
Brendon leaned into the other's touch, putting his hand over Ryan's, "I'll never love anyone but you til the day I die, Ryan Ross, I swear."
"That's a long time." Ryan whispered, closing his eyes, letting his hand take hold of Brendon's, returning it to the bed.
"I mean it. You know I do. I promise." Brendon gave Ryan's hand a soft squeeze.
"You make me a lot of promises, Brendon Urie." Ryan noted, glancing at Brendon's face.
"Only for you." Brendon's smile quickly turning into a frown as he used his free hand to wipe a tear from Ryan's cheek, "Why are you crying?"
"I just... I'm happy, that's all." Ryan laughed wiping away his own tears, "I'm absolutely head over heels for you, dammit."
Brendon let out a breathy sigh, looking down at the floor "So am I, Ryan." He only looked up when he felt Ryan's hand loosen it's grip on his own.
"Ryan?" Brendon tightly held onto Ryan's hand.
"I love you, Bren. Too much." Ryan whispered, barely audible, his head falling to the side.
"I love you too." Brendon said quietly, trying to mute the flatline beep from his head.
Urie softly kissed Ryan's head, standing up and leaving the room.
He walked outside, climbing into the car, sitting for a minute, gripping the steering wheel. Brendon finally gave into the emotion, slamming down on that wheel, letting out a scream-like sob.
He climbed out of the car, sobbing and hiccuping as he ran his hands through his hair, pulling at it.
"P- Please..."
"Just come back! I can't do it without you goddammit!" Brendon looked up at the sky, screaming.
"I just can't!" Brendon tripped over the curb, falling onto the sidewalk, scrapping his palms.
"Can't... can't..." Brendon put his face in his hands, rocking back and forth.

"And I meant. Everything I said that night."

A/N-  Double sadness motherfuckers