The Journey Home

21 - Marriage Among Other Things

The past can't haunt me if I don't let it
Live and learn and never forget it
Gotta learn to learn to let it go
-Learn to Let Go by Kesha

*****

Eileen

"Breath baby, I'm here remember? And Angie is in her room so she won't hear if things get out of hand."

Alex gave me a gentle squeeze as we saw my dad walking out of the cab. Judging by his looks and by the files he carried in his hands, he'd been up all night also. He gave us a weary smile and I was tempted to return it but stopped myself.

"Moretti," he greeted with a nod, before turning his attention to me. He hesitated, but finally decided to address me. "Eileen... Are you okay?"

My heart was pounding against my chest. It was as if it was the first time I was seeing him again. It wasn't that I feared him, though. I feared his rejection, I feared that he would doubt me. I wasn't going to be able to reply, not yet so Alex did so for me.

"She's a bit anxious, but she's perfect."

I smiled at the meaning of his words, but they didn't help my crazy heart.

I saw the way that my dad looked at Alex -- it was the same glare that he used to give the boys that would get near me in school.

"You never told me that you two were in a relationship," he reprimanded Alex, who only wrapped his arm around my waist.

"You've missed so many details of her life I didn't think one more mattered."

The shock in my fathers face was evident as was the guilt in his eyes. It had been five years, but I knew his decisions would forever haunt him. He was trying to make amends, trying to bring back the princess he had lost years ago, but that girl was long gone. I now was very aware of the cruelties of this world, there was no covering them up with a single finger. Clouds were capable of covering the light of the moon just as evil acts harmed the goodness in people. There was no hiding the truth. Wherever you turn, the pain and suffering is there. Some of us are just too blind to see it, others choose to ignore it. It is up to the select few who actually want to make a difference to use their voice.

He didn't.

I would say it's too late to try, but I didn't believe it. Not at all. He is a flawed man and made the wrong choice, a terrible one. But the guilt that was eating him alive was more than enough, why torture him more?

"Are you okay?"

I glanced up to Alex, who wasn't hiding his concern at all. I had been staring at my father in silence and hadn't noticed.

"Yes," I said with a smile. "I am."

The two men discussed the situation thoroughly. Would plotting the murder of someone count as bonding time for the both of them?

Gerald had left my father's house before he found me. He'd been doing his own investigation for a long time. After the hacking he'd obtained all the information he needed and opted on calling me.

I would call answering his phone call a mistake, except now that I saw things with a new mindset I didn't think it so. Had I not answered I wouldn't have been aware that he was even searching for me. I'd be oblivious to the danger that my daughter and I were in.

A precious daughter who had run from Lucas and stood now in front of the grandfather she had longed to meet.

The varying emotions in my dad's face was overwhelming. I debated whether or not to let him interact with her, but I owed this to my daughter. She deserved to meet him.