Beneath Your Beautiful (H.S. AU)

Chapter 20

I watched as Maya burned up in flames and the horrifying scream escaping her lips, penetrated my entire body like a saw cutting it in half and I crumbled to the floor, crying like an infant.

I woke up with a rapid heartbeat and realized it was in the middle of the night. I had had another nightmare about Maya. But when I noticed the sleeping boy next to me, I knew it wasn't only a nightmare. Maya was gone and she wasn't going to come back. I didn't even remember falling asleep, but the fact that Harry actually stayed made me feel a little better although it didn't prevent new tears from falling, and I got out of bed and headed for the kitchen. I wanted to eat something or at least drink something to keep my mind on something else, but I couldn't and instead I sat down in front of the sink and curled my legs up under me only to cry my eyes out once again.

The scream from my dream kept replaying in my mind, and I saw Maya's lifeless body in front of my eyes. "I'm only dreaming," I tried to tell myself numerous of times, but I knew very well that I wasn't and when Harry appeared into my view I couldn't escape reality.

"Hey, what are you doing up? You should be sleeping," he gave me an apologetical smile, and I shook my head rapidly with tears falling down my cheeks.

"She's gone," I stated as if he didn't already know, and he got down on his knees next to me and wiped away my tears.

"I know, but it'll be okay," he tried to assure me, and I shook my head.

"Where was she?" I wanted to know.

"What do you mean?" He furrowed his eyebrows at me.

"The other day, when you refused to let me come with you. Where was she?" I asked again while wiping away my tears before staring at him. He opened his mouth, but didn't say anything, and I could see he was taking his time to find the right words.

"Harry, I don't want your lies. I can handle the truth. Just whatever it is, tell me!" I begged. I was tired of people lying to me, and I really hoped he would open up to me just like he had done weeks prior.

"We went out-" he started and ran a hand through his hair. "We were having fun, but I knew it couldn't get too late as we had school in the morning." He sat down next to me and fiddled with his hands. "So I left," he sighed and if I wasn't mistaken I could hear guilt in his voice. "Maya was annoyed with her parents. She just wanted their attention you know?" He asked while looking at me, and I noticed the tears brimming in his eyes. I gave him a nod and encouraged him to continue. "She wanted to forget. She wanted to erase the pain. I didn't realize how messed up the situation was until you told me she didn't come home," a frustrated sigh escaped his mouth and a tear fell down his cheek.

"What happened?" I asked and wiped away the tear.

"Her parents- they had stopped putting money onto her bank account because she kept ditching classes, but really she only did it because of their lack of acknowledgement. As I said, she wanted the pain they had caused to go away. That's why she kept going out. All her life, she had never been good enough, and it was almost as if they didn't notice her existence," he explained, and I was surprised Maya had told Harry this much. Perhaps, she just wanted to spare me the pain. Because hearing this literally broke me to pieces. I knew Maya's relationship with her parents wasn't good, but I had hoped Maya might have been exaggerating when she said they didn't love her.

"She didn't have any money, but she wanted to forget," he repeated, and I felt like he was just going in circles. He was rambling, his words made no sense.

"So?" I raised an eyebrow at him not understanding what he meant.

"She wanted coke, but without money it's almost impossible to get," he explained and bit his bottom lip unsure of how to continue. I gave him a questioning look and couldn't figure out what he was implying. "Sex," he simply stated, and a gasp left my mouth. I knew Maya was probably sleeping with different guys, but never did I think she would go that low as to sell herself for drugs. New tears escaped my eyes as Harry told me this and a strange feeling ran through me. It was like I didn't know Maya at all. She felt like a stranger to me now, but I tried to block Harry's words out of my head as I didn't want my impression of her to change, yet It wasn't working. "He took advantage of her, as he knew how desperate she was," he explained, and I felt my body quivering at his words and I saw more tears had fallen down his cheeks. Never had I seen Harry this vulnerable before and honestly it scared me. "-but she just wanted the drugs so she didn't care," he explained, and I tried my hardest to prevent my tears from falling.