Beneath Your Beautiful (H.S. AU)

Chapter 24

With every cell in my body screaming at me not to, I slowly opened the door to Maya's room. Coldness consumed me instantly and shivers ran down my spine. It felt like no one had been here in forever. It hadn't been much longer than a week and a half since she had last been in here, yet it felt like so much longer because of everything I missed about her. I could still smell her scent and when I sat down on her bed it felt like she was still here in some twisted way, though I knew she wasn't. I didn't believe in ghosts, as the thought of them walking around among us without our awareness creeped me out. But I didn't believe we just vanished completely from earth when we died either. Whether we went to heaven or somewhere else didn't matter. I just needed to believe that we went some place still aware of what was going on down here. I needed to believe that when I talked to my grandma she was there listening to me. And therefore, I just hoped that Maya would somehow know that I missed her dearly and that even though her parents didn't care at least someone did.

I rubbed my arms in an attempt of warming myself, but it was pointless. For what seemed like the thousandth time that week, I started crying. Unfortunately, you never run out of tears, and they leave you with a constant headache reminding of what has happened.

"I miss you," I spoke quietly, but hopefully loud enough for Maya to hear if she hadn't just vanished completely but was up in heaven or whatever. Small sobs escaped my mouth, and I wondered if I should just leave this room like it was or if I should actually pack it all up. Maya's mom was right, I could use Maya's things at least to get money out of. Yet, I couldn't do that to her. Instead, I thought of donating it all to charity which meant I had to pack everything up. However, I knew that would be an almost impossible task which was why just leaving it as it was seemed like a better idea.

A knock on the front door erupted the silence and with heavy steps I dragged myself out to open the door. I was very certain as to who it might be, and I felt my heartbeat increase already. "Hey." Was a small, meaningless word, yet it was all it took to place a smile on my face.

"Hi," I said and lead him inside.

"I brought you this," he said and handed me a strawberry milkshake brought from the diner I worked at.

My heart melted by his sweet gesture, and the fact that he had remembered made me fall for him a bit harder. "Thank you." I said, but even though it was a sweet gesture I wished he hadn't bought it. It only reminded me of my grandma.

"You want anything?" I asked, heading for the kitchen and heard the door close behind him before he followed me.

"No, I'm okay. I was just wondering how you are doing," he spoke, and I let out a sigh as both Maya and my grandma resurfaced in my mind. It was like no matter what I did something or someone would always remind me of all the terrible things happening in my life. However, Harry was being so sweet to me nonetheless.

I placed the milkshake on the counter untouched and shrugged my shoulders. "I'm fine."

"I don't believe that's true," Harry said, and my eyes met his. He knew me way too well already.

"Considering everything, I'm okay," I said, trying to hold back my tears. The thoughts of Maya, her parents and the fact that I wasn't sure that she knew I cared was really getting to me and on top of that memories of my grandma made everything worse.

"You didn't touch your milkshake," Harry pointed out with a sad expression on his face, and I felt my heart sink. It wasn't that I didn't like his gesture I just hadn't touched anything with strawberry flavour since my grandma died.

Without a word tears fell down my cheeks, and Harry's expression changed from sad to worried. "Hey, it's okay. Did I say something wrong? What's the matter?" He slurred out and wrapped his arms around me. Though Harry's demeanour had changed quite quickly towards me I liked him more for it because I knew I would be in a much darker state if it hadn't. His care and compassion was what got me through the day, and I knew there was a reason as to why he had acted towards me the way he had. He was just afraid of getting hurt, and he reminded me an awful lot of myself.