Beneath Your Beautiful (H.S. AU)

Chapter 5

I woke up totally confused when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked around, feeling goose bumps arise on my skin, and found Maya looking at me by the edge of the bed with a worried look. "You okay?" She asked narrowing her eyes at me.

I had been dreaming. My palms were sweaty and my heartbeat thumping, yet, I had forgotten what the dream or more likely nightmare had been about. "Yeah, I'm fine," I gave her a smile, but the smile never reached my eyes and soon faltered from my lips as well. I wasn't okay, and Maya knew that just as well as I.

"You were screaming. You kept yelling for the fire to stop, and your body was quivering. You want to talk about it?" She asked softly and sat down on the edge of the bed. To be honest, I didn't want to talk about it I just wanted to forget all of it. When you lose your parents at the age of 6 it takes its toll on you, but I had never realized how much until my grandma left me too. "Not really," I told her honestly. "I really just want to forget." I let out a sigh, and her eyes met mine.

"It'll be okay. Cmon let's watch a movie," she said, and I smiled at her sweet gesture. She reached out for my hand and I took hers with a smile and followed her out to the living room. "So chick flick or action?"

"Chick flick," I said with a smile. I didn't want to watch a fire burning or someone getting shot. Maya put on the movie The Vow as I stated I had never watched it. She claimed it was one of her all time favorites especially since Channing Tatum was in it.

The beginning scene was sweet. I loved how he would blow on her hands to heat them up. It reminded me of Niall, and how he would do the same thing in the cold New York air during winter. A smile formed on my lips hoping I would get that again someday. The happy moment in the movie didn't last for long though because as the car came to a stop halt, a truck hit them from behind. A scream left my mouth, and I was sure it was loud enough for the neighbors to hear. It wasn't like the scene had been really dramatic or there had been any blood or anything like that. Everything had been going in slow motion and wasn't hectic or rushed just tragic, but it reminded me of a day in my life I had tried my hardest to forget.

Tears fell from my eyes, and I let my legs curl up under me as I dropped to the floor. I wanted to forget. I wanted to let go of the pain and the screams that came back into my mind of that horrible day in my life, but I couldn't. And the only thing I was able to do in that moment was relive everything in my head.

"What's happening?" Maya asked getting down next to me. She gave me a sympathetic look, but I didn't know how to explain it to her. My heart was burning once again, and the screams of that day were like knives cutting into my soul. The sirens in the movie were heard and my body flinched and I started crying hysterically. I was quivering and I felt shivers run down my spine. My body was turning cold, I was back in my old room in the dream unable to move feeling the coldness consume me.

"Trinity, please say something. You are scaring me," Maya said and placed a hand on my back trying to soothe me, but it didn't help and neither did my own rocking back and forth. I looked into Mays's blue eyes wanting to say something, but how did I tell someone how a messed up person I was? The thought of calling Niall was getting more tempting by the second, but I couldn't. He couldn't help me in this. I knew that and I needed to move on. I couldn't keep running back to him whenever life got hard, however that didn't change the fact that I desperately wanted to. My cries became worse, and I'm sure I sounded like someone getting choked on a piece of gum. Watching my parents die had definitely scarred me and the wounds unfortunately still lied unhealed.

Maya went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. As she handed it to me she gave me a panicked look, clearly she didn't know what to do, but I liked her attempt of trying. I took a sip of the water, trying to calm myself and went to my room to grab a picture of my parents. This way I guessed it would be easier to explain. She took the picture from my hands, when I came back into the living room and looked at it intensely studying it carefully. Then she looked back up at me with an expectantly look.