Beneath Your Beautiful (H.S. AU)

Chapter 1

I opened my eyes feeling slightly cold. The temperature of the room seemed to drop by the second, and I noticed the open window. I stepped out of bed and when my feet connected with the floor, I felt a shiver run down my spine. I slowly walked over to the window while rubbing my arms. How could it be this cold in the beginning of July? I wondered. The floor felt ice cold, and my breath was noticeable. Goose bumps arose all over my body as I tried to close the window feeling the cold air from outside connect with my skin. This didn't make sense. Something wasn't right. And just like that, I heard a noise from outside the hallway.

"Grams?" I whispered, knowing she couldn't hear me. And I was afraid of what was happening.

I left the window and headed towards the door only to hear more noises. "Grams?" I tried again a bit louder, but there was no response, and I felt my heart beat increasing, and the temperature seemed to drop even further.

I placed my hand on the doorknob afraid of what might be outside, but slowly opened up the door anyway. The noise was coming from downstairs, and I contemplated whether or not to go down there, afraid of what I might find. While my heart was telling me not to, apparently my feet had a mind of their own and I started walking slowly taking each step down the stairs one by one.

When I reached the floor by the bottom of the stairs, I saw her. I saw my grandma. She was alone and she was staring at me. "Grams?" I tried, wanting to know what was happening, but I didn't get a reply and just like that I saw her burn up in flames. Her scream was penetrating my soul, and I felt my heart crack open. And then just like that she was gone along with the fire and left were only her ashes.

Though I knew the room was now ice cold, I didn't feel it. I just stared blankly at the spot from where she had just disappeared. I wanted to cry, but no tears fell from my eyes. I wanted to scream, but no sound left my mouth and I wanted to move, but my feet stayed in place. I was numb. I couldn't feel or do anything. The only thing that made me know I was still alive was the sound of my heart breaking deep within my soul.

I woke up grasping for air. I knew it was only a dream, but for some reason it felt so real and even though I'd had it before, I'd never gotten used to the sound of my grandma's scream while watching her burn. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done and yet it wasn't real.

I looked at my phone. It was 4:30am and I should be sleeping, but there I was unable and scared to sleep. I didn't want to have to go through that terrifying nightmare once more.

For the past four months, I'd dreamed it at least twice a week, but that didn't mean it became any easier. Quite the contrary actually.

My grandma had passed away four months ago. She was old and weak and her time had come, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. Especially since I had to deal with it alone. Niall had tried to help me through it, but no matter what he said or did it didn't help which was the first time ever. Because of that, j knew I had to end it between us. Apparently, he wasn't what I needed anymore. I had come to learn that our relationship had only been blooming for so many years because I always needed him to catch me when I fell. I needed him for everything, and I guess he needed me to need him, if that even made sense. And it seemed that had been the only purpose of our relationship all along. I loved him dearly and I still did, but now that he was no longer what I needed, our relationship had started to wither and I knew in my heart that it was time to let go. All good things must come to an end.

I had never been good by myself, but honestly that wasn't a big surprise since Niall had always been there for me. But since he was no longer enough, how selfish that may have sounded, I wondered what was.