Beneath Your Beautiful (H.S. AU)

Chapter 23

I stared at my reflection in the mirror feeling every piece of happiness leave my body. No amount of make-up could hide my tear stained face or the bags beneath my eyes that had formed due to lack of sleep. Having Harry close helped a bit especially with the nightmares, but I didn't like him to stay over too often as the reason he had gotten the bruise was due to his father. He had gotten mad at Harry for missing practice which was only because of me, and the thought of that happening again made shivers run down my spine. I liked having him over I did, but I didn't like the fact that he got hurt because of it. He had told me truthfully that his father hit him once in a while, but other than that he didn't say much, and though I was dying to know why he let it happen I hadn't asked more questions. He would talk about it when he was ready I hoped. Until then, I would just help the bruises heal and try my hardest not to get him in trouble.

Tears cascaded down my cheeks and Harry placed a hand on my shoulder. "You ready?" He asked and took in my appearance. I had to admit, I used to really like the dress I was wearing along with the heels, but now it seemed that every occasion I got to wear this outfit someone had died, and I had come to like it much less. The same went for Harry. He really looked beautiful in his suit, but all I could focus on was the reason as to why he was wearing it. I wanted this to be a normal day where he would wear his dark, skinny jeans and a tee.

I shook my head, "I don't think I'll ever be ready for this," I spoke truthfully.

The police had called me a couple of days ago telling me that Maya's death had brought no signs of homicide, and that they had seen it as a suicide instead. I couldn't help but wonder whether or not it had been her intention to make that cocktail that killed her, or if it was simply a cry for help that was answered too late. Either way, it made goose bumps arise on my skin. I still had a hard time adjusting to the fact that she was gone. Although, I had found her late night- or early morning arrivals annoying I now missed them, and I missed the fights I had with her in the morning about class. I just missed all of it. I missed her smile and her bright blue eyes and her presence. It was really way too early for someone her age to go.

"We should leave," Harry said, and I turned around to bury myself in his arms.

We hadn't kissed since that Monday at his house and though I missed his lips against mine I really just enjoyed being close to him. He had helped me a lot more this past week than anyone else, and I mentally thanked him for it.

"Can't we just stay here? I don't want to hear the priest speak about her too early passing. It's too painful," I said quietly and cried into his shoulder.

"I think you'll regret it if you don't go," he spoke softly, but I could tell he was having a hard time too. He really did care about her as well.

The service had seemed to take a life time while I tried to picture the happy, cheerful girl I knew and loved, yet every time, a pale, bloodstained face would pop up instead. Tears ran down my cheeks as I watched the casket slowly disappear down into the hole in the ground.

She was really gone.

Harry had his arm placed around my waist, while I stood hugging my trembling body. Funerals were one of the things in life that definitely never got easier with time. I noticed Paige and Louis were there too and whether or not they had been inside the church I didn't know, but Paige's red eyes showed that at least she had a heart beneath all her coldness. Perrie and Sophia were also crying, and Zayn and Liam had their arms around them similar to how Harry was holding me.

This was all so wrong. We should all be happy and have fun and be living our lives doing what we wanted, yet there we were crying our eyes out like children.

I looked back at Harry, and I noticed his eyes were filled with tears, yet he managed giving me a smile anyway. As a response to his smile, I turned my body and buried my head into his chest like I had done so many times this past week. For some reason it just felt safe. It was as if nothing else mattered, and right now I needed that safety to bring me through the day. He rubbed his hands up and down my back in a soothing manner while tears kept rolling down my cheeks.