Talent...and what to do with it

Chapter 7: Jonah

I knew she didn't want me there. Jess's attitude on the bus made it clear that she was ashamed to know me, but after today I decided I'd had enough. So I decided to invade her world. It was clear it was very different to mine.
Even turning into her road had been a reality check. She lived in a little turning, in an estate where the 1980s architects had cleverly tried to divert your attention from the fact that the houses were identical by occasionally placing the front door on the left and sometimes on the right. But all of them had neatly mown front lawns and people carriers parked on the driveways. Every house was lit with an early evening glow that suggested dinners being cooked, kids doing homework and the six o'clock news being watched. Sure enough, I followed Mrs Mulligan into a warm, cosy kitchen filled with the smell of delicious, home-cooked food.
Jess had tucked herself in at the table. It was a sort of booth and was surrounded on three sides with bench seats. She was sitting next to a little girl. Her sister, I supposed. A huge retro orange lampshade hung low over the table and cast shadows around the rest of the room making Jess's hair shine gold. She scooped up a spoon of green gunk and held it to her sister, who kept her lips determinedly pressed together. Jess didn't even look up at me. I couldn't believe the way she was treating me. It was bad enough that she walked out on me earlier because she was so repulsed by the idea of my stupidity and my messed-up past. But then to deny it just now without even trying to come up with an excuse was just far lower than I thought she would have sunk. Part of me knew I was letting her reaction bother me more than I needed it to, but I wasn't ready to question why that was. So I thought I would enjoy the sport of messing with her while enjoying the best dinner I'd had in months. I kept the charm level turned up to max.
"Thanks so much for this, Mrs Mulligan. It smells amazing."
Although her mum was petite like Jess, the resemblance stopped there. Mrs Mulligan had dark hair and eyes and seemed cheerful and easy-going. Those were words I would never use to describe Jess. Mrs Mulligan was beaming at my compliment. "You're very welcome Jonah, it's wonderful to get to know one of Jessica's friends. I know she loves her training sessions. It's done her the world of good and we're grateful for that." I raised an eyebrow in Jess's direction at this news, but she gave no reaction. "Now do sit down, make yourself at home."
Jess still hadn't acknowledged me and because I knew she'd hate it, I scooted round the bench seat to sit next to her. "Budge up, Jess."
I noted she moved as far away from me as she could, but she couldn't move far enough. It was a small table and now she was sandwiched between her sister and me.
"Hi," I said to the little girl. "What's your name?" Although I hadn't noticed a resemblance at first, she was looking at me with an expression disconcertingly similar to Jess's. She stared silently and then in a quick movement grabbed the end of the spoon that Jess held out. She pulled it back, the green puree flew through the air and landed solidly on my nose. I had never heard Jess laugh like that before: a proper belly laugh that drowned out her sister's giggles. While I sat there, feeling like an idiot. But strangely happy to be the source of their entertainment and thinking that just when I thought I had got Jessica Mulligan figured out, she surprised me all over again.
"Amelia! That is very naughty! What a thing to do to a guest! Jess! Do not encourage her. Stop it, you two." Mrs Mulligan handed me a piece of kitchen roll as their giggles began to subside. I heard Jess whisper, "Nice one, Melie. Wish I'd thought of that." She glanced at me as she did and her eyes were still sparkling with laughter. I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe for a moment. I shifted in my seat and had to turn away from her.
"Here we are. Dim Sum. Enjoy!"
In front of me were little parcels that smelt and looked wonderful. Mrs Mulligan quickly added a steaming bowl of noodles and crispy vegetables. "Wow. Are you some kind of chef?" I asked.
Jess's mum smiled while I sensed Jess's disapproval. I frowned at Jess, but she was looking down at her plate. It would be amazing to have a mum who could cook like this. Why did it bother Jess?
I tucked into the noodles and tried to forget my confusion. The food was as delicious as it looked and I focused on that. Then the door slammed and Jess's Dad walked into the room. He walked over and kissed his wife hello. He stopped when he saw me. First he looked shocked and then he looked worried. I grinned at him. Here was someone else to wind up: the man who had paid me in secret to train his daughter. I wondered if Mrs Mulligan knew what he had done. I doubted Jess would have told them that she knew about the payments.
"Look, darling, it's Jonah. You know, who Jess has been running with? He popped over to see Jess, so I invited him for dinner." The contrast between their two expressions was laughable. Mrs Mulligan looked at me like I was wonderful; Mr Mulligan looked at me like I was a time bomb waiting to go off. Jess kept her head down like she was trying to shrink into herself. Even though she had been quiet before her dad had arrived, now she seemed even less likely to speak.
Her dad sat in the only chair across the table from us, and accepted his dinner with a nod. His wife had just served up a home-cooked Chinese banquet and he didn't even thank her. I liked the man even less. He continued to stare at me as he began to eat. I stared back. There was no way he was going to intimidate me.
When he spoke it was slowly. "What are you doing here, Jonah?"
Mrs Mulligan sighed and Jess looked up sharply at his tone of voice. Then glanced at me. If she thought I was going to lose my cool she was wrong. I had a feeling I knew what he was afraid of and in that second I decided to play on it.
"I came over to ask Jess out."
Jess coughed loudly, like she was choking on her food. This was a great tactic: it was winding her up just as much as him. I went on, as he and Jess were struck dumb. "Yeah. You know that gig I was telling you about Jess? Thursday after next? I've got a spare ticket, thought you might like to come."
Mr Mulligan frowned. "A gig? With you? On a school night?"
Mrs Mulligan surprised me by wading in. "They've got an INSET day on Friday remember? So it wouldn't really matter if Jess were slightly late home. It would do you good, Jess, to go out instead of staying in studying all the time."
"Ah, but your tutor comes round on Thursday evenings, doesn't he? That's it then, she can't go." Mr Mulligan looked triumphant.
I was very aware that Jess had still said nothing and with her head bowed again was hiding behind the curtain of her hair. My plan had suddenly backfired on me. I realised that even though the gig had been an impulsive idea, I really didn't want to hear Jess turn me down.
"No, darling, remember her tutor had to cancel this week. So it would be an ideal opportunity. Wouldn't it Jess?"
Jess must have looked at her mum but I couldn't see from my angle. Anyway she didn't say anything to put her mum off as Mrs Mulligan added, "It would be something else to talk about at the interview wouldn't it?"
I felt Jess tense up next to me and couldn't stop myself asking, "What interview?"
"She hasn't told you?" It was as if Mr Mulligan thought he'd got one over me. "She's so modest. She has an interview as part of an early entrance application for Cambridge. She's a little nervous about it I think, though she's no need to be."
Jess stayed very still, but she put her fork down and I think her hand was quivering. Mr Mulligan carried on with what was apparently his favourite topic.
"Don't know where she gets it from. Scarily clever. Since she was little all she ever wanted to do was count and do sums. No playing princesses for our girl."
I turned to Jess. "Cambridge? But you're only in my year, aren't you?" She nodded, and looked at me properly for the first time since we'd started eating. She looked like she was in pain. I realised that I couldn't stand seeing her like that. Didn't her dad realise how uncomfortable he was making her? I might have been wrong, but I think she shook her head the tiniest bit as if she knew what I was thinking.
Mr Mulligan went in for another attack. "And what about you Jonah, what are your grades like?"
I almost laughed. He'd sniffed out my insecurities pretty quick.
I shook my head. "Er, studying isn't my strong point." Mr Mulligan raised an eyebrow. I caught Jess's eye and glanced away, remembering she thought I was as stupid as he did. What was I doing here again?
Jess said, "Jonah doesn't need good grades to be a professional athlete, though."
I stared at Jess. Professional athlete? I had never mentioned the idea, barely even admitted it to myself, and here she was chirping up with it as if to rescue me.
"Now come on, professional athlete, is that really likely? I don't mean to cause offense but statistically the chances of actually making a career out of a sport are tiny. Surely getting good grades takes priority over a hobby?"
Somehow my voice came out steady. "Yes, Mr Mulligan you are right. And I have struggled in the past with lessons, but now I am finding that this school is helping things to click into place in my learning, as well as supporting my extra curricular interests."
Mr Mulligan accepted this grudgingly. "Well, it is a very good school. And I know the resources that we have put into sport are second to none. It would be marvellous for the school if you were successful with your running, but still, you will never regret having the exam results as back up."
Then Jess surprised me again. "You're right, Dad. In fact, I've agreed to help Jonah with his revision. You know, as a thank you for all of his own time he's given up to help me with the running." Jess smiled at me. I was beginning to lose track of who was winding up who.
"Now, that's very thoughtful Jessica, but how on earth can you fit that it into your schedule? You are very busy as it is."
Jess raised a shoulder. "Oh, we'll find time. Lunchtimes maybe. I am sure it wouldn't take much, Jonah is actually very bright."
Mr Mulligan looked as dubious about this as I felt, but I began to sense that this was Jess's peace offering to me and that maybe I had got what had happened at lunchtime earlier all wrong.
Mrs Mulligan chipped in. "So Jonah, you've just moved here haven't you? Where did you live before?"
"South Manchester" I clutched my fork tighter. I didn't like talking about my past, and Jess must have noticed because she rescued me again. "I think Jonah wants some more noodles, Mum." This wasn't enough to deflect them and I waited for the next inevitable question.
"Did your parents move here for work Jonah? Do they work at one of the computer firms?"
"Er, no. My mum works at call centre." I wondered if I was lying. Mum hadn't actually told me she had lost her job, so it was kind of the truth. I knew they'd ask about Dad next. I felt cruel doing it and I knew Jess would hate it, but I turned the conversation back to her. "So do the maths skills run in the family?"
Her dad snorted. "No fear! We are not too sure where she got it. But she is doing so well, aren't you Jess? You had told him about the exam hadn't you?"
Jess shook her head.
"What? You are not going to get far, Jess, if you don't learn to promote yourself a bit. "
Her face burned red.
"Which is why I can't have you distracting her at this crucial time, young man, or you'll have me to answer to." He chuckled, because the idea of Jess and I together was ridiculous.
It was ridiculous. Wasn't it?
I thought about Cambridge. I wasn't even university clever. She was applying to Cambridge. At fifteen. "Did you go to university Mr and Mrs Mulligan?"
They both laughed. "No Jonah," Mrs Mulligan smiled. I realized this was well-rehearsed banter. "I didn't have the brains, and he didn't have the inclination."
"You certainly had the brains, but you're right about me, I wanted to get out there earning. I didn't want to waste three years sitting around studying when I could be out there living." He paused. "No offence, Jess."
"None taken," she answered quietly.
"Right you two, we'll clear up. You kids can and go and have some time together." Mrs Mulligan twinkled at us, while Mr Mulligan frowned. "I am not sure..." Mrs Mulligan batted him away. "Off you go and make your plans for the gig."
"Wait a minute. We hadn't agreed she was going."
Yet again Jess surprised me. "Dad, there is no reason for me not to go. If you think you can trust me to go away to uni, next year, you better trust me to go and listen to some music with Jonah. After all, weren't you the one who suggested we train together?"
I could see her dad squirm at the reminder of his treachery and I wanted to high-five Jess. We had won. I wasn't mad at her any more. This clever girl who knew I was stupid, but who had still talked about me as if I was worth something, had agreed to go on a date with me.
I followed her up the stairs, and she turned round at the top, looking embarrassed. "What? Why are you still here?"
"That's nice. And there I was thinking I needed to thank you for coming out with all that athletics stuff in front of your parents."
She shrugged and didn't meet my eyes.
"So are you going to tell me what's really going on?" I asked, leaning on the banisters to make it clear I wasn't going anywhere until I got some answers.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean are you going to explain why you think I got it so wrong this afternoon?"
She sighed and I knew I'd won. "You're relentless, has anyone told you that before?"
I smirked as I followed her into her room.
If the differences between us weren't already clear, you could just compare our rooms and you'd know what polar opposites we were. Mine was small, kind of damp-smelling and littered with clothes, old drinks cans, mugs and junk. I thought this was normal for a teenager. Jess had floor to ceiling shelves filled with books and an expensive-looking computer and music system. Everything was tidy, clean and organised. Nothing lay on the floor, no drawers were left open and the bed was neatly made.
She stood next to her desk and didn't look at me. I could tell she felt embarrassed to have me there. But other people's awkwardness always made me more confident and seeing as she was standing next to the only chair in the room, I strode to the bed and sat down. She hesitantly pulled out the chair at her desk and turned it slightly towards me before sitting down. I could see her face now. She had that soft rose glow under her skin that I knew she got when she was nervous and her eyes looked anywhere but at me.
"What is it Jess?" I spoke more gently now and leant towards her. It was beginning to occur to me that whatever was bothering her was about more than just me.
Now she shrugged "I asked you before, when you were at the door, what you were doing here?" She sounded angry and then her tone softened and she flicked her eyes to mine, "Why are you barging into my life?" She sounded wounded and somehow I couldn't bear the idea of being the cause of her hurt, even though I couldn't understand how I had hurt her. Without thinking I reached for her hand. It felt cold and I tried to rub some warmth into it. She stared at our hands. I could tell how uncomfortable she was so I started talking,
"I don't know, Jess." I sighed. "That's the only answer I've got. I don't know why I am here. I just know that I felt awful when you ran off this afternoon. You thinking I'm thick mattered. I had to talk to you about it."
"Jonah, I have known you for a few weeks now, everything I have seen of you tells me that you are not stupid at all. In fact you seem pretty bright to me."
I didn't let myself believe her. "So it's because I told you that I skipped a lot of school, that I was trouble back then? Is that what it is?"
She shook her head. "I know you're not like that." She spoke softly and her words warmed me. She was wrong. I was definitely trouble, but it was nice to think that I had fooled her into thinking differently.
"What's your reason for leaving like that then?"
She spoke quietly and I had to move even closer so our foreheads were almost touching. "I felt sick."
"Really?"
"Yes, really Jonah, it was about me, not about you. I...I just can't talk about it."
"Jess, I told you that stuff about me, I haven't told anyone here any of that stuff, nothing. I trusted you. Then you run off straight afterwards. It looks pretty clear to me. You think I am a waste of space."
She jerked her hand away from mine as if she suddenly remembered I was touching her. "But I don't."
"It's a fact. Same as it's a fact that you're the cleverest person I ever met and seem to be about to go off and take the maths world by storm...hey, were you really studying that day on the bus?"
She smiled a tiny smile for the first time. "Yeah, I was doing equations in my head. That's how weird I am Jonah. And...and I didn't run off because of what I thought of you," she hesitated, "I had to leave like that because every time I think about that interview I think I am going to be sick."
I stared at her, she was beginning to look slightly green now, I believed her now, and I wanted to help in whatever way I could. "Don't think about it then! Quick, think about bunny rabbits and...and...your funny sister...and...candy canes."
She giggled. "Candy canes? Where did that come from?"
"See, I told you I was stupid."
"Jonah, are you just saying that to get me to keep telling you that you're not? You are so smart. You come up with all these clever one-liners, I've heard you on the bus..."
I interrupted her and grabbed her hands again, smiling. "Oh yeah, you listen to me on the bus? I thought you were busy studying."
She flicked her head, "Yeah, well it's hard to ignore a voice as loud as yours."
I laughed and she took her chance to let go of my hands again, leaving them feeling strangely empty. "Jess, I believe you. About you feeling sick earlier I mean." I couldn't tell if she cared what I thought or not. She still looked shell-shocked. "Sorry to bring it up again, but how can you possibly be ready for uni, already?"
"I've taken an A-level each year for the last three years. I'm working on my STEP now. They're the exams you do to get into Trinity." She said it like it was no big deal.
"Wow. OK. Now I feel really stupid, especially as I can't even understand what you're talking about." She smiled thinly. "But that's not what I meant. How can you be ready to leave your family? You all seem really close. I know your dad's a bit...you know...but won't you miss them?"
She paused as if thinking about it for the first time. "Yes. I suppose I will. I know you haven't seen my dad at his best, but actually he's been great helping me over the years. I don't want to let them down." She paused, and looked at her hands, "But the thought of not seeing Amelia..." Her voice wobbled, so without thinking I put my hand under her chin and lifted her head up so she was forced to make eye contact with me. I could see she was close to tears. I could see the worry and fear in her face and I wanted to chase it all away. What was I thinking? I tried to remember that she was the nerd who was so clever she sometimes came across as stupid. I tried to remember she was that red-faced girl who couldn't even run. But those images of her had been replaced. She looked at me and I thought she was like one of those paintings they'd made us look at in art once: Pre-Raphaelites, I think they were called. All mystery and beauty and emotion. I hesitated. What did she really think of me? Half an hour ago I had been so angry with her, now she was beautiful and lost and all I wanted to do was kiss her. I must have lost my mind.
"JESS!" A nappy-clad Amelia barrelled into the room. Jess pulled sharply away from me and the magic was gone. She leapt out of her chair and leant over Amelia, tickling her and joining in her giggles.
I took a moment to recover myself, listening to and watching this amazing girl, who I felt like I was only just beginning to see properly. I loved hearing them laugh like that. I wondered how good it would feel if I could make Jess laugh like Amelia could.
After a moment Amelia locked eyes on me. "What name?"
"That's Jonah."
"Joan."
"Yes, you can call him Joan if you like, it quite suits him. Doesn't it?" They giggled again. I had never been able to handle being teased before, but somehow I was willing to let Jess get away with it.
It was getting late and I'd have to get going if I was going to fit in another run. More to the point I needed to clear my head after this crazy night. "I'll see you for training tomorrow, yeah?"
She nodded. "And we'll sort out that tutoring then, too, shall we?"
I laughed, but she went on. "I'm serious Jonah. If I can help, I am happy to."
"Nah, you're alright, don't worry about it." I hovered at the doorway. I felt unsure of myself in a way I just wasn't used to because suddenly her answer to my next question was more important than I ever imagined it would be. "The gig, though. You're up for that aren't you?" I don't think I let go of my breath until she glanced up at me and nodded.