Glass Hearts

Chapter 11:

Chapter 11:

The girls took me home around 4:30, and ended up taking the other two boys out, leaving me alone.

I was exhausted, it was fun, being out and forgetting about things for once. Maybe I made Michael proud.

I sat in the living room until the guys got home, promising them that I would text them every hour and not do any thing I would regret. And when I got home, they checked my wrists to make sure there weren't any new marks before I went to bed.

Michael appeared by my doorway, arms cross over his chest like normal as we made his way over to me.

"I'm so proud of you Ash."

"For what?"

"Having fun. Loosening up." He smiled, sitting next to me on the bed. "I'm glad that you're.. Moving on."

"But I'm never going to move on."

"Don't let me hold you back Ash. You need to live, you can't keep living like this."

"But I can't Michael!" My voice broke, my eyes filled to the brim with tears. I couldn't just forget about him.

"You have so much to live for Ash, you can't worry about me anymore! I'm gone! I've been gone. I can't hold you back anymore."

"Don't say that!" I cried, hitting the bed. "How can I get over the fact that you'll never be able to hold me again? That we'll never be able to write songs together? How can I get just get over that Michael!?"

"Ash-"

"These dreams are all I have left. And I'm afraid that if I move on, I won't even see you here anymore."

He sighed, not wanting to fight anymore. So he pulled me close, so my head was on his chest as I started to cry. Like he would always do. Except I couldn't focus on the sound of his heartbeat anymore.

Because Michael was dead

He's been dead

But when was I going to learn to accept that?

Never.

***

"Ashton?" A voice peeped. I looked up and Michael was no longer there, instead I was in my bed alone. My head against my pillow and tears streaming down my face.

"Are you okay? I thought I heard you crying." Hannah stood in the doorway, wearing nothing more than a tank-top and shorts with her blonde hair thrown up in a bun.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm not trying to sound rude- but why are you here?"

"Did Luke not tell you? Liya and I are staying the night." She giggled, biting her lip.

"Oh." I raised my eyebrow and she laughed.

"Not like that silly."

"Just keep it down if you... Y'know."

"I will." She laughed. "But seriously Ash. Are you okay?"

"To be honest? Not really."

Her eyes were filled with worry, she rocked on her heels, not knowing if she should come comfort me or stay where she was.

"Is it Michael again?"

"When is it not Hannah? I mean, let's use you and Luke as an example. He means the world to you, right?"

She looked down, nodding hesitantly.

"And he's always been there for you?"

She nodded again, rocking back and forth once more.