The Other Side of the Story

Chapter 13

I was gaping with shock at Micale. I never knew he felt that way about him then I raked my memory of what happened freshman year.

He was looking at me intently and was nervous. I could see him fiddling with his thumbs. These few weeks that we’ve been meeting I’ve learned a lot about him like how his eyebrows meet when his fiercely thinking of something and how he fiddles with his fingers when he’s nervous. His face lights up whenever he hears or sees something he likes. In fact, I’ve been observing him and I now understand his moods. His eyes color shift to different kinds of shades of blue depending on his mood.

These past few weeks I learned to appreciate his sense of humor and cheesiness. I learned that he was caring, loving and helpful. He is full of inspiration and hard-working.

“Micale-“ I started but he cut me off.

“Ok, you don’t have to answer right now. I just wanted to tell you what I really felt. It’s been killing me and I wanted it to be special so I could tell you what I really feel for you.” Micale said. “It’s getting late. I should send you back home.” I nodded and he led me to the car.

We drove off and reached my house faster than I wanted. I wanted to tell him how I felt but I was confused with my feelings too that and the fact I’m still the queen bitch at school. He parked in front of my house.

“Well, here we are. Happy Birthday princess. I hope you had a good one.” He smiled at me and reached out to caress my cheek.

“Micale, I want to answer your confession.” I replied. I was determined.

“Ok. Just know I’m not pressuring you into anything Lavender. I want you to trust me.” He took my hands into his and waited for my confession.

“Micale I was stunned at your confession I never thought you actually felt like that for years. Just know I appreciate it. Micale you’re handsome, funny, caring, and nice and you make my heart beat fast. You make me anticipate your calls and messages. You make me anticipate the time when we can spend time together but right now I don’t know what I feel. I’m confused. I’ve been hurt and now I’m damaged goods. I don’t know if I’m still capable of loving because I’ve been so dead inside that I don’t know what it feels to actually have someone care for you. My family does care for me but I’m too scared to trust anyone aside from my family. I have a past I never want to return from. It’s something I never want to happen again. My past is the reason why I’m like this. It has controlled me and consumed every fiber of my being leaving a hollow body. I’m too scared to trust anyone. I can’t get to close because everything I touch is destroyed.” I stared at him but he was listening to me.

“I don’t want to drag you into my mess. I have a big baggage and I don’t think you can handle that. Plus, I know by staying away from you I would be able to save you. I’m scared Micale. I can’t go somewhere without looking over my shoulder to see if my past has catch up to me. I need to know you’re safe and the only place you’ll be safe is far away from me.” I held his face in my hands and stared at his beautiful eyes.

“Lavender are you done?” I nodded my head as he continued his statement. “First of all, I feel that way too. I anticipate the time together with you. Second, everybody has a past but other don’t. You know what’s scarier? Not having a past because you might not have future. Third, everyone has something they fear and all of us are running away from something too. Fourth, you won’t drag me into your mess because I decided to be part of it. Fifth, you have no right to decide what I can and cannot handle. I’m a big guy, have a little faith in me. And lastly, I don’t want to be safe I want to be with you.” I cried at his words. I bet I look ugly now. I’ve been crying since dinner.