The Other Side of the Story

Chapter 24

I was woken up by my parents. They had worried faces.

“Lavender, honey, what are you doing sleeping on the floor? Why are you eyes red and swollen? Where’s Micale and Becky? Did something happen?” My mom surrounded me with questions.

“Uh – I have a headache.” I said as they helped me up and sat me in one of the chairs.

“What happened, Lavender?” Dad questioned with authority I haven’t heard since I was since 14.

“I had an argument with Micale and he left. Then Becky made me explain what happened and got into an argument and she left. I cried where you found me and I fell I asleep.” I replied after drinking the medicine.

“What did you fight about? You never fight with Becky?” Mom asked worriedly.

I ignored her question and asked, “Mom do you blame me with what happened with Lilly?”

“Was that the reason you argued with Becky?” She came to me and kneeled holding my hand.

“Yeah and Micale. I wouldn’t tell him about Lilly.”

“Honey we never blamed you for anything. It was that man’s fault. He is the reason why Lilly is in a comma.” Dad answered for mom.

“Dad.” I looked up to him and looked down to mom. “Mom, would you do anything for me if I asked?”

“Of course! I would die for you Lavender and so will your dad. We’ll die for all of our children. The three of you are our lives. If we lost you I couldn’t imagine my life.” Mom sobbed and streams of tears fell down her beautiful face.

“Did you lose me when you lost Lilly?” I asked again. I ignored the fact that my mom was crying. I wanted to let everything out before anything else.

“I don’t know where this is going but we didn’t lose you. You’re here with us, aren’t you?”Dad answered, helping mom up and sitting her then handing her a glass of water.

“Not physically. More like mentally or something.” I explained.

“Well, if you want my honest opinion then yes. You changed so suddenly. I thought it was just a phase or your way of grieving for your sister. You became different and so distant. Occasionally you’ll stay with us but ever since that incident you always fought your battles alone. Are we that unreliable, hon?” Mom asked.

“No mom. You’re not. You’ve been so supportive of me but I just lost sight of everything. I thought if I do well on my own then that would ease the guilt I feel. The truth is that I was so scared. I was scared that you’d hate me. I was scared that I’d lose you guys. I felt that if I showed weakness I’d lose another person who is important to me. I was afraid to let anyone close because they might not be what I expected them to be and they would take someone from again. I thought I was protecting everyone by pushing you away but all I did was hurt you even more. I’m sorry.” I confessed to them.

It was out my fears and insecurities. I was so vulnerable that it scared the hell out of me.

“Oh, Lavender. I’m sorry that you had to feel like that. I’m sorry that you were scared by yourself. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to help you. I should’ve realized that. I failed you as a mother. I’m sorry honey.” She cried harder.

“Lavender it’s ok to fell like that. It’s ok to feel scared and vulnerable. We wouldn’t go anywhere. We will always be with you. It’s ok to rely on us sometimes. You won’t lose you independency by asking help from others. I’m sorry that we weren’t dependable but it will all change. You can trust us Lave. We’re your parents, aren’t we?” Dad had tears in his eyes but he tried to be strong for everyone.