Fighting the Waves (On Hold)

Fighting the Waves ~ Chapter 3

After making it clear that I was comfortable not talking, Jamie picked his magazine back up and began flipping through it again. I stared at the coffee table that was covered in magazines but wasn't really looking. I thought back to when Jamie asked me out a few months ago. I had never seen him as anything more than a really good friend and ever since my mom died I just haven't wanted to start a relationship. I had been dating Greg at the time and when she died I just pushed him away rather than letting him comfort me. Instead, I partied a lot.  

No. I can't think about that. I did some things I promised I wouldn't speak or think of. I'm not proud of what I did. But I can't take anything back. I can only just keep moving forward. I can't, I won't look back. 

I remember the look on Jamie's face when I turned him down. He had gotten his hopes up and I crushed them. The poor guy looked like a hurt puppy. Greg's face had been similar when I broke up with him. But he had understood. He had said that he wished I could've let him help me but he understood why I was pushing him away. He said he couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose his mom. I told him it would feel like his heart was ripped out, stomped on and put back. I know he and Catherine are as close to their mom as I was with mine. 

I felt my eyes begin to water slightly. I could see her face. Her deep hazel eyes sparkled and fiery red hair framed her heart-shaped face as she smiled down at me. I could her warm laugh that she used so often. I could smell her perfume. She always smelled like ginger-bread cookies. I hated ginger-bread cookies but always loved how she smelled like them. I could almost feel her cool hands pressing against my forehead whenever I had a fever. My mouth watered as I pictured eating her Chocolate Whiskey Cake. 

A tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away with the back of my hand. I hate crying. I can't stand it. It makes me feel weak. I flipped my long red hair and gathered it into a ponytail. I pulled a mirror out of my purse and looked at my reflection. I had my dad's sky-blue eye color but the almond-shape like my grandmother on my mom's side. They were red and a little puffy. The little bit of eye-liner and waterproof mascara was kind of smeared. I guess it can handle the ocean but somehow not my tears. Tons of freckles dotted my face and my full lips were chapped. I reached into my bag again and pulled out some Chapstick, mascara and eyeliner. I wiped away what was smeared and re-applied. I put a layer of Chapstick on my bottom lip and rubbed my lips together. 

I put my stuff back and went back to staring off into space. Just as I began to think and wonder about what happened to Cole and how he had ended up in the water with a huge gash in his forehead, I felt eyes on my face. I looked up to meet Jamie's gaze. His black eyes bored into mine. He ran his hand through his short dark blonde hair. He as though he wanted to rip the hair in his hands out of his skull. 

"Why'd you say no? I like you so much, and I thought you had feelings for me too. You said no so bluntly. Like, you could never even think about going out with me. I know things are hard without your mom but, I could make you happy. Just give me a chance." He practically begged. 

"Jamie-" I started, but he cut me off. 

"Never mind. I know you won't. Just forget I said anything." 

"Jamie I love you. You know that. But you're my friend. One of my best. And I really don't want to just risk our friendship on something that might not end well. I don't want to lose you. Ple-" I was cut off again by a nurse walking through the doors. 

"Are you the young lady that brought Cole Nelson in?" 

"Yeah, that's me. How is he?" 

"He is still having some tests done and we stitched up his forehead. His leg is broken, wrist is sprained, he has a mild concussion and he's quite cut up and bruised but otherwise he is alright. But by the looks of it he's fairly lucky to be alive." She added in a very serious tone. "Do you know of anyway to contact his family?"