In The End (Sequel to In Real Life - Nemi)

Hey, We're Gonna Be Alright

Demi left me in the small storage room, after she pulled her pants back on. We didn't even say a word to each other. She gave me a look, then left the room, leaving me sitting on the stool with my pants still unzipped. My sense of euphoria was gone the moment I pulled myself out of her. I wish I could just stop feeling this way. I wish I could just feel, consistently, in love with her. I stayed in the room, feeling sorry for myself for a while, then I left to go help finish tearing down the stage.

I had a hard time shaking this bad feeling & I had an even harder time hiding it from everyone around me. When I got to the bus that night, Demi wasn't asleep. She was lying on her back, one hand behind her head, the other on her stomach. She had a soft smile on her mouth as she watched her belly. When I closed the door, she looked up at me for a moment, then went back to looking at her belly.

I took off my pants, then climbed into bed, lying on my back, next to her. I felt so guilty for the way I was feeling, I didn't even know what to say to her. "Do you want to see the baby move?" Demi asked, whispering.

I turned my head & followed her gaze to her stomach. I watched for a few minutes, then suddenly, I saw a bump underneath Demi's skin. It was really cool, I couldn't help but to smile & laugh. I moved myself closer to her, then placed my hand on her belly beside her hand. I laid there with my head on her shoulder for a while, feeling & watching my daughter make some moves. I fell asleep, eventually.

I woke up the next day & we were in Austin, Texas. Demi was sitting up in bed, texting someone on her phone. I sat up on my elbow & cleared my throat. I smiled at the sight before me. She really was beautiful. I loved her & dammit I was determined to stop thinking so much. I wasn't listening to my heart anymore. It was crazy. I kissed Demi's arm, affectionately.

Demi almost jumped when I put my lips on her arm. "Hey. Good morning." Demi said, barely looking at me.

I looked at her phone & saw she was texting Wilmer. "Really, Dem? You're texting Wilmer?"

Demi grunted. "You need to stop. I told you that I am going to stay friends with him. If you don't like it, maybe you should leave the tour."

I sat up, straight. "Are you serious?"

"I'm done kissing your ass, Nick."

"Excuse me?"

Demi turned a little to face me. "You heard me. I am not going to kiss your ass. If you don't want to be married to me, then don't be." She shrugged her shoulders.

I stared at Demi, not sure of what to say. "Who said I wanted you to kiss my ass? And why would you think I don't want to be married to you anymore?"

Demi put her phone down on the bed & crossed her legs, facing me. "I can see something has changed in your eyes, Nick. Ever since we got married. I'm not sure, exactly, what it is, but it's different. You're different. I thought it was just the stress of the tour, but I think now.... " Demi took a deep breath & I saw a slight tremble in her chin. "I think it's regret."

My heart felt like she stabbed it with a dull knife. She saw it. I tried to hide it, but she saw it. I shook my head, vigorously. "No, Demi. It's not regret. I swear."

She sighed. "Maybe it's just all the chaos of our lives right now. Who knows? I totally get it. You're freaked out. I'm a little freaked out, myself."

I scooted closer to her. "You're not seeing regret. Please just be patient with me. This is all so much & yes it is freaking me out but it doesn't mean I don't want to be married to you."

Demi sighed, tilting her head, slightly in an almost sympathetic way. "Good. I'm glad to hear. I will be patient with you." She poked my stomach & grinned. "Hey, we're gonna be alright."

I managed a smile as I watched Demi get out of bed & disappear from the room. I sat there for several minutes, trying to snap out of the funk I was in. I made up my mind to try to fake being happy & fake being in love. It worked for a while. Even when I had to hang out with Wilmer again, while we were in Austin, I put on a happy face. I kept my happy face on for the rest of the tour. Because of this, we had little drama. Demi & I got along pretty well & we used the excuse of keeping our secret, as the reason we weren't that affectionate. We only seemed to be affectionate when we were alone, probably because we were afraid someone might see us & figure out that I was the father.

I never did take the stage with Demi on her tour & we heard a lot of theories about possible reasons online. Most people claimed I was losing my musical edge. People were speculating that I was tired of music & wanted to be an actor or director. Some even went as far to say that I was nothing if I didn't have my best friend, Demi hiring me for her tour director. I think it was partly due to the fact that the show, Navy St, was struggling in the ratings. That was one reason they hired Olivia for the cast. Not only would the beautiful addition bring in new viewers, but also the drama, that my ex & I being on the show together, would create was going to be epic.

The tour ended on September 30 & our last night had me feeling a bit sad. Demi must have sensed it as she sat, getting her hair done. I was strumming the guitar, since I didn't have as much to do anymore. The tour had gone fine, so far, so John was fine without me. "You okay, babe?" Demi asked.

I looked up & smiled. "Yea, why?"

She rolled her eyes. "You are not okay. You're letting that shit on the websites get to you. You're letting them get inside your head. You are something, Nick. You're one of the most talented guys I have ever known." Demi's determined voice made me smile even bigger. She really was my biggest fan. "Hey. You're gonna be alright." She grinned at me, showing me all of her teeth & I couldn't help but to laugh. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. They asked me to be a special guest at the Jingle Ball this year."

I laughed even louder. "Are you performing?"

"Of course." She scowled. "I'm only doing a few songs, I think. They don't even have a headliner yet."

"That will be a sight to watch. You, 8 months pregnant, on that stage." I was laughing so hard, imagining it in my head.

Demi threw her empty water bottle at me. "You shut up, Jonas. I am going to kick some ass at that ball just like I did on my tour." Her eyebrows lifted as she smirked at me. I didn't argue with her. I just smiled & went back to my guitar.

Demi's tour ended on a Wednesday, the last day of September, in Los Angeles & my show started taping, the next season, on October 6, for about six weeks. We were taking some time off for the holidays & we would resume taping after the new year. Olivia had impressed everyone on the show so much that they decided to make her a regular character that season. Just my luck. Demi was pissed, but she tried not to show it.

On Labor day, Demi & I went to Joe's for a cookout. This is where my brothers all tell me that they want to get the band back together & that there is a slot for us at the Jingle Ball if we want to make that our first reunion show. Everyone was excited & I tried to be, but I had a hard time getting excited about anything these days. I was overwhelmed with the guilt that ate away at me. I think I needed therapy.

My first day on set was not fun. I had been talking to Olivia here & there online, so we were starting to be cool. I was forgiving her for destroying me, but actually seeing her in person on set, looking gorgeous as she got her hair & makeup done was excruciating. It made me remember the feelings I once had for a woman who was once her. I knew she wasn't the same person anymore. She was someone I couldn't trust. She would always be that someone who wrecked me. I blamed her for not being able to really know if I was in love with my wife. It was because of Olivia that I doubted my own feelings. I loved Olivia, then I started thinking about making love to Demi & I questioned my feelings for Olivia. Then Olivia lied to me & tried to trap me & I stopped loving her almost instantaneous. What does that mean? How can you stop loving someone so abruptly? Was I really in love with her or was it an infatuation? I don't know & I didn't even care at this point. At least I knew for sure that I did love Demi. I have loved her for years & that hasn't changed.

When someone handed me the rewrites to the script, I felt my stomach sink. Olivia was playing my ex girlfriend, but now, according to the new script, she was going to be my girlfriend. Demi was going to love this. I had a kissing scene with Olivia, right out of the gate. What the fuck did I do to deserve this? Was I such a terrible guy? Was I gonna be alright?