In The End (Sequel to In Real Life - Nemi)

What Did I do to Your Heart?

The first place I went to find Demi was her apartment. Sadly, she wasn't there. I didn't see her car in her parking spot so I didn't even go up to her door. I headed to Marissa's next. Marissa had a garage so I went & knocked on the door. Marissa answered, holding her phone to her ear & looking stunned that I was standing in front of her. "I'm a hafta call ya back." Marissa said in a low voice into her phone.

"Is that Demi?" I grabbed Marissa's phone before she could answer. "Demi!?" All I heard was dead air, then a dial tone. Fuck. I know that was Demi. I handed Marissa back her phone as she glared at me. "Where is she?" I asked.

"Like I'm gonna tell you so you can go break her heart AGAIN!?"

"Marissa, I am done breaking her heart. I just want to be with her."

Marissa scowled. "Really? She's carrying another man's baby, but you expect me to believe you want to be with her?"

"I don't care. I still want her to stay my wife."

"What are you doing to her heart, Nick?" Marissa whined. "She can't keep doing this. She can't keep trusting you & then get her heart shattered."

"I promise I won't break her heart again. Please, Marissa, just tell me where she is."

Marissa bit her lip, looking down at her phone. She sighed, shifting on her feet. "Nick, she's so fragile right now. I'm scared."

"What are you scared of? Marissa, is she going to do something? Do you even know where she is?" I asked, my voice panicked now. I messed with her too much. What did I do?

Marissa's eyes looked up at mine & I could see they were filled with tears. "I have no idea where she is. She called me & sounded so bad when she told me everything. I begged her to tell me where she was, but she wouldn't. She kept saying she couldn't do this anymore. I was just on the phone with Wilmer because I'm scared, Nick."

I grabbed Marissa & pulled her into my arms, soothing her with my hand on her head. "Let's find her. Together. I'll drive. You get her on the phone & see if you can get a clue as to where she is. Anything that will tell us where she is." I headed to my car & Marissa followed me a moment later, after grabbing her keys from her house.

We got into the car & I was freaking out. What if I was too late? What if Demi fell off the wagon or hurt herself? I didn't want anything to happen to the baby, even if it wasn't mine. I grew to love it & I couldn't shut off how I felt about it now. The moment Marissa was in my car, I took off to where... I had no idea.

"She's not answering." Marissa growled. "It keeps going to voicemail." She looked up & I glanced at her face, seeing tears still evident in her eyes. "Nick, what if we can't find her?"

"We'll find her." I reached over to pat Marissa's leg.

Marissa kept trying to call Demi, with no luck. I was driving around aimlessly, driving by places Demi frequented & looking for her car. It had been several minutes & I heard Marissa let out a frustrated groan. "Why the fuck did you do this to her heart, Nick?"

I sighed. "Shatter it over & over? I have no fucking idea. Because I'm a complete ass. Don't worry. I feel like complete shit right now."

"You should." Marissa spat at me, looking out the window, still trying to call Demi. "I swear to God...." Marissa turned her head to glare at me. "If she does anything to hurt herself or her recovery I will never forgive you."

"I won't forgive myself, Marissa. I realize how bad I hurt her. I keep thinking of the last year & I can't believe how bad I hurt her over & over. I slept with her & told her she was a mistake then I continued to break her heart over & over, not even thinking how fragile she is. If something happens to her, I'll have no reason to live."

Marissa stared at me. "We gotta find her."

I nodded, feeling anxious. "Think. Where does Demi like to go to be alone or to think?"

Marissa sighed, lifting her head & leaning back on the seat. I saw her shaking her leg, nervously. Suddenly, she sat up straight. "I think I might know a place we can check. My first day in L.A. when I moved here, she took me to this spot near Runyon canyon. It was a bluff, like a cliff but you could only get there by walking a little ways. We sat there & talked all night, watching the sun set & she told me she discovered it before she was famous & that sometimes she'd go there to think & she said..." Marissa closed her eyes & I glanced at her & saw her swallow. "She told me she'd go there when she thought about killing herself & she said if she ever did decide to end her life, she'd jump off of that cliff." Marissa's voice cracked & she dialed Demi's number again as tears fell down her face.

"Let's go then. How do I get there?" I asked in a panicked tone of voice. Marissa told me where to go & we got to a little dirt road at the top of the canyon. We both let out a sigh of relief when we saw Demi's car. I parked the car & we got out.

"Now, if I see her, I don't think she should see you at first. So, I'll show you where you can go." Marissa said as she started walking. I followed her, praying in my head that we'd find Demi & that she was just sitting here, thinking.

After walking for twenty minutes, Marissa sucked in her breath. "Thank God. There she is." I looked where Marissa's gaze was & saw Demi sitting on a rock, her back against the side of the mountain, staring out into the horizon. "You go over there & try to be quiet." Marissa motioned for me to hide behind a tree that was near where Demi was sitting. I walked, quietly, over there, watching Demi the entire time. Marissa walked toward Demi, just as quietly. When she got close enough, she said, "Thank God I found you."

Demi jumped a little. "Riss, what are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you. You didn't sound like you were in a good place on the phone."

I saw Demi manage a smile & then I saw her face was wet with tears. "I'm not. I fucked everything in my life all up. Just because I fell in love with my best friend." She let out a growl. "I never thought he would do this to my heart. I always thought if my heart was safe anywhere, it would be with him. He said he was a safe place to fall."

I couldn't stand here & listen, not saying anything, so I came out from behind the tree. "Demi, you have to believe me... nothing happened with Olivia. We didn't have sex. I can explain why she was there." I was walking toward her. "I'm sorry for everything I have done to your heart over the last year. I am sorry I forgot to handle it with care."

Demi got up, slowly, her eyes bulging. "You promised me on our wedding day that you would always be within reach. You were far from within reach." Her eyes filled with tears. "Why are you even here? After everything you've done... after all the heart breaking you've done...after all the broken promises... after what I told you... I don't understand why you would even be here. Go home, Nick. We are done. Over." Demi stomped passed me, Marissa following. "I have nothing more to say to you, Nick." Demi shouted over her shoulder. I started following her. "I don't have any desire to listen to your explanation."

"Not even if I tell you that I finally can say, without hesitation, that I am hopelessly, undoubtedly, deeply & head over heels in love with you?" I asked in a desperate voice. I held my breath when she stopped & turned, slowly, to face me with her mouth hanging open. I prayed she would run into my arms & we'd live happily ever after, but sadly this was real life. In the end, there weren't always the happy endings.