In The End (Sequel to In Real Life - Nemi)

Pushing Me Away

I don't have any idea how long Demi stared at me after I finally said, out loud, that I was in love with her. I hoped she heard the absolution in my voice when I said it, too, because I meant it with every ounce of my being. I waited, with bated breath, for her to speak. Finally, she opened her mouth to say something & I was never more attentive.

"Wow. That almost sounded believable." Demi said, almost chuckling.

"It should. I meant every word. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it, but I did & I want to be with you. Forever."

Demi was looking at me with confusion in her expression, an amused smile on her lips & tears still in her eyes. "Really? You want to be with me & raise Wilmer's baby?" She let out a tiny laugh.

I took a few steps toward her. "Yes. I want to have our own babies one day, too. I don't care if it's Wilmer's baby, I will love her as if she were my own because she's a part of you & I'm in love with you."

Demi shook her head & closed her eyes for a moment. "Nick, stop it. Now you're wanting to be with me out of guilt. You don't love me. You won't love Aria the same, so just stop because it's hurting me."

"You're still going to name her Aria?" I asked, my brow furrowed. Demi's eyes widened & she glanced away.

"Yea. I like the name." She answered, looking up at the sky.

The way she wasn't looking at me made me feel funny as I watched her face, carefully. It was like a light bulb went on in my head. "You lied to me, didn't you?" I asked, walking toward her.

Demi's face looked horrified at first, then she looked angry. "Lied to you about what?"

"It's not Wilmer's baby, it's mine, isn't it?" I couldn't contain my surprise or my outrage. "Demi! You wouldn't still name her Aria if it wasn't my baby. That was my name. The name I picked out." I was standing a foot away from her now, forcing her to look at me.

"You're fucking insane & wishful thinking. Go back to Olivia & knock her up for real this time." Demi turned on her heel & started walking away.

"I know it's mine. And I know why you're pushing me away, Demi. You're scared & I don't blame you. You have to believe me when I say that I'm in love with you. I didn't have sex with Olivia & I'm not going to. We're not back together. I know that's what you were thinking." I was shouting as she kept walking, putting more distance between us.

"I'm not stupid, Nick. I saw how you & Olivia were dressed. I saw your clothes thrown all over. I know you had sex with her. I'm done talking Nick." Demi shouted, shaking her head. "I'm done with you!"

I took a deep breath & leaned on my knees for a moment. I stood up, then took off running, not an easy task in the shoes I was wearing. I caught up to Demi & grabbed her arm, making her, instinctively, turn & push me. "Please, just hear me out." I begged her.

"No." She was panting now. "I don't want to be married to you anymore. I don't want to raise a baby with you. I don't even want to be friends anymore. Get the fuck out of my life!" She yanked her arm from me & started walking again.

"Tell me what I can do, Demi." I pleaded.

"I just told you what to do. It's over. It's too late. I don't believe anything that comes out of your mouth anymore. Good bye Nick." She started walking faster & I was frozen. I couldn't believe I lost her for good. No, this isn't how it ends. I wasn't giving up. I let her leave now, because I didn't want to upset her, anymore, but I wasn't letting this go.

Push me away, Demi. I wasn't going far. I made promises & I may have broken them at one point, but I was going to make amends. I was going to get her back if it killed me. She could push me away all she wanted, but I was going to claw my way back to her.