In The End (Sequel to In Real Life - Nemi)

Keep it Real

I got my makeup done in a few minutes, because, well, there's not a lot they could do. They added a bruise on my face that was supposed to be from a fight scene that I had yet to shoot, but then I was done. I sat in my chair, reading over the new script when Olivia came up to me. I smelled her before I saw her. She always smelled so incredible, I was suddenly sent back in time.

"Hi, Nick." Olivia's voice brought me back to present day.

I smiled, faintly, at her. "Hey."

"So I guess we're going to be playing lovers..." She said, elbowing me in the arm.

"It looks that way." I scowled.

"You okay with this? You seem pissed." Olivia's eyebrows came together.

"I'm fine with it. I'm an actor. I can act like kissing you doesn't make me want to throw up."

Olivia stuck her bottom lip out. "Wow. That's a little harsh."

I shrugged my shoulders, smirking up at her. "Just want you to know I won't be enjoying it. So don't get any ideas."

"Can't you just forgive me?" Olivia crossed her arms & sighed, deeply.

I couldn't help but to laugh. "I have forgiven you, but I've also moved on. I'm with Demi, now."

"I think you got with her as a rebound from me." Olivia said with a smug expression on her face.

"Not true. She's my best friend. She helped me stop wallowing in self pity, but moving on with her was natural. It wasn't me rebounding."

"If you say so." Olivia rolled her eyes to look away.

I inhaled, slowly, then let it out. "I do say so."

"Think the old feelings will come rushing back when you kiss me today?" Olivia asked, batting her lashes, innocently.

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Nope." I smiled with one eyebrow raised & she gave me a dirty look. "Just being honest." I shrugged my shoulders, not caring that I probably hurt her feelings. She gave me another dirty look, then stomped off.

I was dreading my scene with Olivia to be honest. We were exes in the show who were getting back together, so I hoped that meant I'd break up with her again at some point. I was in the gym for the scene we were shooting, standing near the punching bags. Olivia was standing on the other side of the bag, wearing a very tight tank top & tight workout pants. The director yelled "cut" right before the kiss, so I assumed the kiss would be its own scene. Great. That meant it was going to be long. In the scene I was supposed to grab Olivia's face, a little aggressively, pull her to me & give her an extremely passionate kiss.

Olivia walked slowly toward me once they started rolling the cameras again & when she got close enough, I did what I was supposed to do. The moment her lips met mine, my heart began racing, remembering how she hurt me. I was a little freaked, though, since I started getting into the kiss, suddenly, remembering how much I did love her at one point. I even felt myself getting excited, just a little. The director yelled, "cut" & I pulled our lips apart, feeling guilty. I didn't enjoy the kiss, but it did make me doubt my feelings, even more, for Demi. As if I needed anything else to make me doubt my feelings. The director said that we could wrap for the day, so I almost ran to my dressing room.

I got to the room & laid on the couch, hating myself. My hand was in a fist & I hit the back of the couch, wishing I could stop feeling this way. I loved Demi, dammit, so why couldn't I just stop feeling so doubtful? Olivia had to come along & fuck everything up. It would be better if she wasn't in my life at all, but she was, so I had to get her out of my head for good. I needed a therapist. The thought was a joke when I first thought it, but now, I knew I needed someone professional to get my head right. I wasn't ashamed to ask for help. I needed to be real. I was struggling. I was confused & I felt like I might crack if I didn't talk to someone soon.

Later, that night, I was in the shower, at home, when I heard the bathroom door open. "Babe?" It was Demi.

"Yea?"

"Just wanted to see how your first day on set with Olivia was."

"Not great." I answered.

"Aww. Why?"

"They changed the script." I replied, shutting the water off. I opened the shower door, grabbed a towel & saw Demi leaning on the counter, looking down at her stomach. She looked up when I stepped out of the shower. "Olivia is now my girlfriend on the show." I said, wrapping the towel around my waist & avoiding her gaze.

"Your girlfriend? Are you okay with that?"

I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. "I don't have a choice." I went to the sink beside where she stood. I got my razor out, ready to shave my face. I looked at Demi's profile & she looked sad. I reached over to move her chin, so she could look at me. "Don't be upset. It's not good for the baby."

Demi took a deep breath. "Did you have to kiss her today?"

I nodded, frowning. "Why do you think my day was awful?"

"Did you feel anything?" Demi asked, quietly. "Tell me the truth." She added.

I moved to stand in front of her, putting my hands on either side of her belly. "I felt nauseated."

Demi smiled, her head falling back. "Good answer." She ran her fingers down my bare chest. "Did you feel anything else?"

I shook my head. I was lying to her & I felt so guilty. Why was I being so dishonest with her? I never lied to her before. Hell, I never lied to anyone before. What have I become? Why couldn't I be real with her? Why couldn't I just tell her what I was feeling? I hated myself so much right now. I needed to talk to someone. Anyone.