Mind of ZAYN ✔️ Zarry

Mind of Z A Y N

Zayn

@foreverlarrystylinson: LARRY IS REEEEEEEAL!!

@larryisreal: I saw Louis looking at Harry while singing Steal My Girl!!! Omg!

@louforhaz: Omfg! They're looking at each other!

Why is it always Larry?! Why is it always Louis? I am the one who's always there for Harry. I am the one who really knows the real Harry Styles. I am the one who saved Harry from fire. I am the one who defended him from being called a womanizer. I am the one who he talked 'till the A.M. I am the one who loved him first. I am the one who loved him since we were 16.

But why people can't see it? Why people are so blind when it comes to me loving and caring for Harry?

I'm just tired of being covered by my best friend. Yes! I'm jealous of my best friend Louis. And somehow, it's my fault. But I didn't expect this will turn out bad for me.

Now, I'm so done. I am doing these kinds of stuff that I didn't agree with. I am with the person I don't love. I have to deal with these shits for the sake of our careers.

Why can't we do the things we want? Why can't I love the one I truly love? Why can't I be myself?

And now, because of this goddamn engagement, I lose Harry. The only reason why I am staying fell out. And now, I left with nothing. Although Liam, Niall, and Louis are encouraging me and cheering me up, it's not enough. I need my Hazza with me.

Why isn't it fair? Why is it have to be hard? I wish we could go back in time when we were younger. When no one's criticizing us. When no one's judging us. But, what can I do? It already happened.

I'm so down right now. I can't think straight. I want to leave. I want to give myself a chance. If Harry won't come back to me, then why would I stay?

What more can I expect in this world full of comforting lies? I can't stand Harry not talking to me. I hate it when he was just trying to talk to me in front of a camera. I hate it when we don't share a hotel room anymore. I hate it when he's always with Niall now. I hate it when he's trying to distance himself from me. And I hate my life so much!

I wish someone could save me. I wish someone would appreciate what I am doing. I was not born to boost anyone's career. I was born to be with Harry. And only Harry. But life can't let that happen.

A/N: first book written, I apologized for poor grammar and dialogues.