Mind of ZAYN ✔️ Zarry

ch. 9 ✏

"Haz?"

He stopped when he heard that voice. He dried his tears fast before looking back. "Yeah?" He replied.

"You're here?" Zayn asked rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes.

"No... I mean, yes, I'm here, but not here. I was there." He answered in confusion. Zayn's eyebrows met in the middle.

"What did I say? Oh, never mind." He added and walked out of the room.

He cursed himself as he went downstairs.

"How's the comfort room? Is it comforting?" Louis asked him casually, laying on the couch and eyes focused on the television. Liam is busy with his cellphone probably taking a selfie for an insta story. Niall is now on his guitar as usual.

He sat down on the floor with a cushion under. "Why are you guys not always telling me if Zayn's here or not? I'm always surprised at his presence. I'm looking like a fool." He complained.

"Sorry to tell this, but you always look one." Harry rolled his eyes at Louis's sassiness.

"Hey, Li, be careful with your phone. We might not want to visit the whole fandom in mental wards." Niall joked as he strums his guitar.

"Oh yeah, I know, Ni. This ain't the right time. But soon, they'll see us hanging out altogether. What if I give them a warning?" Liam playfully said as he composed himself for another picture.

"What are you talking about soon?" Harry asked. Liam reaches them and sits beside Niall.

"Oh about that, we talked last night, the five of us about bringing the band back together." Liam's smile widens. Harry furrowed. How's that happening?

"Uhm, yeah, it's nice to know that you talked about it now, and I'm not objecting to that, but how? I'm still on tour, and Niall's tour is about to start this year. I thought you two will tour your album?" He asked. Louis sits up.

"Well, we kinda talked about that too, me, Liam, and Zayn, will not tour anymore after we released our album," Louis answered.

"You, the three of you, I mean, we'll form the band again, but with Zayn?" Harry asked not wanting to sound harsh or anything but, he thought all of this hanging out was just to cope up for the years they were not together, he never thought about the possibility of Zayn coming back to the band.

"Why? Are you not into it? I mean, we started the band 8 years ago, as a five-piece, so I guess there's no problem with doing that again." Liam explained. Harry closes his eyes. He thought that he could just breathe today without any stress or things related to Zayn. But this, again.

"Hey, Harry, it's 2018. Besides, the past is past. Let's forget the issues. And Zayn did apologize to us already, and who are we to not accept it? I mean, he did apologize to you, too." Niall said making sure that Harry's getting his point. Harry sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess that's awesome. That's great." He nods nervously. Still not contented. Like, hey, it's awkward around with your ex. Who does not feel it whenever your ex-boyfriend is around. He couldn't imagine his life with Zayn again. But what can he do? The majority wins.

After a moment, Zayn joins them in the living room and catches up. They talked about a lot of things. About their plan on coming back as a band, how will the fandom reacts. Well, they all talked, but Harry. He stayed quiet. He just nods, shakes his head casually when asked. He is not in the mood again. He's not comfortable with the fact that he's with Zayn in the room, acting like there's nothing happened.

"So, may I ask how are you doing with Gigi, your girlfriend?" Liam asked. Leaning to Niall. They all simply looked at Harry then at Zayn.

"We're good and getting stronger." Zayn simply answered. They all feel awkward at that time.

"That's a big joke, Zaynie. Ha-ha-ha." Louis said sarcastically. Zayn shook his head.

"It's true and besides, there's nothing to cover up. Make sense." Zayn said like Harry's not around. Different.

"It's 2018. It's not 2012 or 2014 anymore. I have moved on" Zayn exclaimed patting Louis' thigh. "And I'm sure, Harry did move on, too. Right, Haz?" He turned to Harry.

Harry can't believe the words he just heard. Is this what he gets after those years? After that night? After that four years relationship? He wanted to slap him. He wanted to yell at him. But he just nodded.

"Okay, so I think it's settled then." Liam got up and fixed himself.

"C'mon guys, I wanted to show you something." He said before going out of the house. The four looked at each other in confusion. Asking where would they go as they got up too and went out.

"Remember that house we used on X-Factor days?" Liam asked as he started the engine when they all got in.

"You mean, the house we used in our Video Diaries?" Niall asked. Liam nodded.

"Yup. Guess what, I got that renovated." Liam said steering the wheel as he leads their way.

"What?" The four asked in unison. All are surprised and confused.

"Yes. I'm thinking we could use that again as our resthouse, or something that we can have if we want to hang out together." Liam answered happily and excitedly.

"Why didn't you say it to me earlier? I should have known!" Louis exclaimed in excitement. They talk and talk on their way to the house.

Well, Niall and Harry have their conversation about their tour, while the rest talks about the house. After an hour, they arrived. They got out of the car and looked at the house with a smile on their faces. They all walk in, Harry was about to follow Niall, when Zayn called him.

He hummed in response.

"We're okay, right?" Zayn asked. Harry nodded.

"No hard feelings?" Zayn asked again. Harry nodded.

"Yeah. We're okay. I mean, it's no big deal. It's just nothing." Harry answered.

"Thank you. But you know, sometimes, I regretted that we had a thing." Zayn said. Harry looked at him, shocked.

"I mean, yeah, I was happy about it, but if we never had it, I think there are no walls between us now. That's what I meant." Zayn explained. He walks in leaving Harry heartbroken with the things he said.

A thing? He just called our four-year relationship a 'thing'? Well, it isn't just a thing for me. I depended on my life in it. I gave my all. I loved him so much. He closed his eyes. Trying to endure the pain in his chest. Trying not to cry. Trying to be strong. But how? How in the world that someone who made you happy is also the one who made you so broken?

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