Mind of ZAYN ✔️ Zarry

ch. 15 ✏

Zayn

It's been two days after that incident in my apartment in New York. I don't know what had gotten into my mind on why it happened? I'm in a relationship, yes I still love Harry but all I want now is to bring back at least our friendship. I have no intention to break his heart again with my flaws. Hurting him for the nth time is the last thing I wanna do. All I want is just to be close to him again, friendship. I would never deny that I still love him. Harry is a wonderful human being. He's so precious, he's beautiful, he's special. He deserves so much in this world. And I know I can't give him the moon and the stars. Might as well treat him right this time. And bringing him back for myself wouldn't be of any help. I just want to see him happy, live his life the way he wants to. I know he still feels the same for me. And I'm not taking advantage of it. But this heart of mine is not letting me go away. Every time I'm near him, my body automatically reacts the way it used to be. And I hate it. It looks like I'm giving him false hope. I know I said that I'm happy with Gigi. And yes, I am. Well, not that happy. It's just that we don't take things seriously. We get along so well with that. And I can say that I'm just fine with it. No pressure at all.

But with Harry. It feels like 2010. This feeling never gets old. My heart is beating so fast and I'm breathing rapidly when he's around. I don't know exactly how to move or act, it's silly because I was like a teenage girl who has a crush on her seatmate at school.

Since that incident, Harry's acting weird. I know that Harry is being weird all the time. I know his silliness towards people and things. But right now, he's acting as nothing had happened. He's back to his old self. Like laughing in such small things, his weird obsession with bananas, and playing around with people like a five-year-old kid. That is Harry Edward Styles.

Yesterday, Lou Teasdale visited us in the house saying she misses doing our hair. She decided to play with our hair doing some hairstyles and all, then Harry being Harry holding a pair of scissors and acting like he's going to cut our hairs. When he's going to play with me, I held his two hands with just one hand, he didn't expect that I'd do that, we stared at each other for like 6 seconds, I saw the awkwardness in his eyes, but that quickly changed into so much laughter then he'd go to Niall and pissed him off.

Then on the same day, when Louis was going to light up his cigarette, Harry blew it up. He kept on doing that until Louis slapped his bum. He ran away then went to Liam and disturbed the lad while playing some games on his phone. I'd say it's a car racing game from the moves Liam is doing like tilting the phone to the right and left, and Harry did tap the button multiple times until Liam lost the game. He's back again messing with people's doing. But one thing never changed, he didn't and will not ever steal Niall's food or it'll be World War 3.

I can say he's fine now, because of the way he acts. But I can't still be sure if he's okay. Because he's acting as nothing had happened between the two of us. I'm not saying that I don't want him to be okay, it's just that, it's a bit weird. Like, how the hell did he get back to his original self in just 24 hours? But, fine. Okay. If he's happy now, who am I to question it, right? Besides, everything is going well. He's talking to me, not casually, just asking some things, then if I answer him, he'll go. Just like that. I think I can deal with this, than nothing at all.

At this moment, we decided to hang out a bit, because we were busy the past weeks. We just need to freshen up and yeah, it's nice being with them again. I didn't regret leaving the band because it's all I need, but I'm happy right now 'cause I have got them back in my life.

Earlier, our old song "They Don't Know About Us" just came up as Niall strummed his guitar. I looked at Harry to see his reaction, he did stiffen a bit, because yeah, the song is a fact about us, but in the middle of the song, he tried singing it out of tune. See? Harry is Harry. Whenever there is an awkward moment, he will just play it around with jokes or something.

Right now, Niall is still strumming his guitar, playing our old songs, then we'll try to sing it with the correct lyrics. It's stress-relieving. Honestly. Singing our songs from the past is so calming.

Then Niall decided to play their song, not our song cause I left. It's pretty familiar to me because I don't know.

"Unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands. Unexplainable, a love that only we could understand..." Niall sings as he strums the guitar.

"I know there's nothing that I can do to change it, but is it something that can't be negotiated... my heart's already breaking, baby, go on twist the knife..." I sing along with Niall then I could see all of them looking at me surprisingly. Even Harry.

"You knew the song? You said you didn't listen to it." Liam accused me. I giggled.

"You lied when you said you didn't buy the album," Louis exclaimed.

"Of course, I lied." I laughed watching their pouty faces. I shrugged it.

"So, what's your favorite then? In the last album?" Niall asked me. I chewed my lower lip and smiles.

"This song, Love You, Goodbye. I don't know why. I just felt like someone wrote it for me. I feel that way when I first heard it, then I can't stop listening to it." I explained. Louis nodded.

"Louis did write it for El. You know, when they broke up." Liam told me. I nodded smiling.

"Of course, I knew. It's just that, I feel that way every time."

I can see Harry switched position, he's now leaning on the arm of the couch with that big pillow on his face. I swear he's blushing now. I wouldn't know it if I don't know him that much.

Yes, I feel that Harry's singing it for me. I know that he didn't write it. But the way he sings it, it's just like he's telling me the message of the song. And right now, I want him to sing it for me. I want to hear his voice singing for me like he used to do after our recordings. But that's just too much to ask.

I sighed. Thinking of it, I didn't notice that I was staring at Harry that long. Liam snapped his fingers on my face.

"Oh, you're saying something?" I asked for I shift position.

"I asked if you want to write a song with us now?" Liam asked. What? We'll write a song? Our song?

"You serious?" I was shocked. Yes, we did write a song, but just helped with the lyrics.

"Yeah. Why not? We are all songwriters here." Louis told.

"It will be going to be great!" Niall said, getting excited. Well, me too. I am.

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