IT/S.T. Oneshots

Suicide || Jaeden Lieberher

Point of view: Jaeden

Rating: Sad, Suicidal thoughts and actions are included, so if you are sensitive to these topics, I advise you to skip this chapter

I stood at the front door, hesitating before knocking a solid three times. I waited a moment, but she didn't answer. I knocked again, this time louder, hoping she would hear me this time.

Text message

(Y/n)

Go away Jaeden. I can't right now.

It was that text that frightened me. I burst through the door, looking around the for where she would be hiding this time.

I raced up the stair and headed for the bathroom. I checked everywhere in there, cabinets, the closet, shower, but nothing.

(Y/n) has been depressed for as long as I've known her. She grew up in an awful home with people from school bullying her to add onto it. She didn't make any friends until I came along. I thought I was helping.

I had hoped I was helping.

I felt my eyes start to burn as tears threatened to fall. I walked into her room, assuming she wasn't going to hide in here, but it was worth a shot. I had looked everywhere, coming to the conclusion that she wasn't here, until I heard a small sniffle.

I crouched down and looked under the bed to see a tear eyed, cut up arm (Y/n). The girl I had fallen so hard for.

I reach for her, pulling her out from under the bed and setting her in my lap. She straddled my waist and hugged me tight, sobbing into my chest.

I sighed, running on of my hands through her hair. "Deep breaths (Y/n). I'm here now. Everything is alright."

She didn't say anything after that, I simply picked her up, walked to the bathroom, and got out the hydrogen peroxide and bandages. I placed her on the counter, getting the supplies ready.

"I-I got blood o-on your shirt." She muttered, refusing to make eye contact.

I looked down and saw what she was talking about, but just shrugged. "It's alright. I didn't really like this shirt anyways."

She hissed in pain as I poured the peroxide on her arm. After the cuts were clean, I wrapped them in bandages, and then put everything away.

"Why?" I asked.

She looked up at me, tears in her beautiful (E/c) eyes, letting a few escape. I smiled sadly at her, walking in between her legs before wiping them from her cheeks.

"I'm so worthless Jaeden. I-I'm so stupid, wreckless-" She started, before I cut her off by placing my lips on her's.

I pressed my forehead to her's, closing my eyes and sighing.

"You do realize none of those things are true right?" I question, opening my eyes and caressing one of her cheeks.

"You are beautiful, intelligent, important, kind, and so many more things. Even if you don't think so, I do. I see the amazing details about you. Yeah, you might have a couple flaws, but don't we all? So stop. Please. Stop doing this to yourself. You deserve so much more than this." I whisper, pecking her lips once again.

She giggled through her tears. "Is this your confession to me?"

I smiled and move so I am properly looking into her eyes. "I guess something like that."

"Jaeden." A voice echos from around us.

"Jaeden!"

I'm shaken awake, tears in my eyes as I come face to face with Finn.

"You were crying in your sleep again man." Finn says sorrowfully.

I come to my senses and realize it was a dream, because (Y/n) actually died two weeks ago from suicide. Today was the day of the funeral, and this was the last time I was going to be able to see her.

"Lets get ready to go." Finn says, walking to the hotel closet to pull out some clothes for us both.

~Time skip~

I walk into the funeral home, to be immediately greeted with all my friend's arms consuming me in a giant hug. After a moment, they let me go, and I simply walk past them. I walk around the corner and see the open casket.

I have been holding back everything since I woke up today. I don't want to seem weak. I want to be strong. For her.

I walk over the casket, gazing down at her pale body. I feel the tears coming, but I try. I keep trying to fight them back. I allow my hand to graze her cheek, only to be met with coldness.

I can't hold back anymore. I break down in the wide open for everyone to see. My friends race over to me, but I push them all away. I stand up and run.

I don't know where I'm going, but anywhere is better than here. When I finally stop, I'm at the place we first met when we were in 6th grade. Tears are streaming down my eyes as I sit down on a swing, remembering every moment we spent together.

But between the day me met, to the day you took your last breath..

I never got the guts to tell you I love you.