You | Finn Wolfhard

"Merry Christmas."

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Finn and I were best friends for eleven years. I know him well and so he does and we don't even find it awkward when we do something awkward together,

Before.

Until everything changed. Our attitudes towards each other changed; our moods and our way of living changed too.

We became matured when we both reached the teen stage.

And yes, puberty.

We were really new to everything. We sometimes feel embarrassed and weirded out easily but our bond was still the same and we still share the same ideas, hobbies, habits, and affection.

I don't even know what to do to myself. I don't even know if he understands my sudden mood swings. I really want to feel comfortable around him but the more I get closer to him, the more my heart wanted to burst out from my ribcage.

It's weird and unusual because when we got older and he was taller than me, and his face changed a lot,

I was shocked.

He was more attractive than before.

"Hey," Finn waved out a hand after he showed himself from the doorway with a smile on his face. His cheekbones were the ones that allure me. Even his smile.

"Merry Christmas," I beamed, pulling him into a warm hug.

"Merry Christmas to you too," we pulled apart.

My palms are sweating right now and I can't stop the jitter of my heart. This time, he wears a Stranger Things-themed sweater and a pair of black pajamas that made him look like a teddy bear. He was pretty darn cute and cuddly.

"H-here," he showed a green wrapped present from his back before scuffing in front of me. I took it from his hands without hesitation, smiling back in response.

Now I look like a tall five-year-old girl, begging for a carry. He was just so tall, his stomach was only my level and I need to chin up to see his face. "Ha..." I gently whispered under my breath by the time I look up to see him once again. "It's not my fault you're short," he laughed. He kissed my cheek unexpectantly as if it never made me overthink too much.

Cheek kisses and hugs were almost a habit. But if it wasn't me who takes it too seriously, our faces tend to be flushed with pink whenever we remember how we do this often before. It was pretty obvious for Finn too because his skin has a light complexion. I'm less embarrassed because mine isn't as same as his. "Finn...?" I twirled my foot from the ground while fidgeting my fingers still head down low.

When I tried looking up to have eye-to-eye contact, he was still calm, still, and soft. His constellations of freckles empowered his face and his cheeks had rose shade.

"Yeah?" he utters. "Can I hug you again? You're so fluffy." he started to snicker uncontrollably but I didn't mind because my stomach had butterflies. Finn spreads his arms profoundly as I embrace his stomach with all my heart.

We had the same beats as the drums. The rhythm of our hearts collided together. It was very comfortable. We were very comfortable.

This time, we remained stiff and still. We didn't pull apart nor do anything to interrupt our embrace. His heart was pumping briskly and he was huffing and puffing to catch for breath.

I slowly pulled myself away from him regretfully then had a short glimpse to see the gleam from his eyes, "I... I love you, Finn." I brushed my gaze from him.

Chills began running down my spine when he began tracing the braided locks of my hair with his fingertips. He looked at me with admiration as his skin softly touches mine. Our hands were intertwined with warmth and comfort, and I was begging for this moment to last once more. This is what I hate the most. I'm expecting something in return even if it'll leave me hurt. I'm trusting my heart too much which will just lead me to something heartbroken.

"Look, I—"

"It's okay if you...you don't love me in that way. I  just...I'm...sorry. I..."

Ever since we started making rules and promises, we promised ourselves to stay true and open to each other. "It's okay," he brushed the strand from my face, his thumb wiping the tears cascading from my crimson cheeks. "You don't need to cry. I understand everything. Because I feel the same."

My heart skipped a beat from like the millionth time around but then it came back to life with multiple patterns of rhythm. I glimpse to his lips then back to his eyes, his tears were rushing from its corner and his cheekbones had a tint of pink.

"You know what, Christmas is not better without you." he swings our hands slowly between us

The lullaby of the Christmas melodies are roaring around my living room and the ear-piercing tones from the fireplace followed our footsteps. I pulled Finn's arm towards my couch and we sit there only to curl ourselves under our blankets to enjoy the ambiance. 

"So, is it official?" he turns back to my face when he only catches up to see half of the scene from the movie we were watching. An inch was only the gap that could be seen between us. His gaze enticed countless hearts including mine; the never-ending stars wrapping his grimace were attracting the whole universe and that made him special. Very special.

Once I bit my bottom lip to rephrase all the thoughts I come up with in response, I received another flushed Finn. His face was the color of the Christmas ball and this could never be erased from my mind. If I ever had another glimpse of that tree ornament, it would always remind me of Finn.

"You look like a Christmas ball," he teased.

"Speak for yourself."

Finn was still waiting for my answer but he began tickling me.

"Finn, stop!" I buried my face with my hand then let out my last grunt to signal him I had enough. "You haven't answered me yet."

"Why are you hiding?"

"It's because you're embarrassing." I groaned. 

"You're corny." he chuckled, attempting to pull my hands away from myself. "I won't," he laughed, "I promise, I won't laugh when I look at you."

I peeked from the small gap forming from my fingers to see his face and to know if he was really serious. When I searched for his reaction, which was not satisfying because he began holding his laugh for only a second, I didn't continue to take my hands away from myself. I still tried hiding my face before muttering out a simple sigh.

"You said, 'I promise'. How could you?"

"Okay okay, it won't happen anymore." he snorts. "I won't, really."

I let out my deepest sigh, taking off my palms from me, slowly opening my eyes to see him once again. But when I began to see his full features, he pecks my lips shortly and I was in a midst of confusion. I was shocked.

"Now, are we official?" he raises an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever, Wolfhard. That's the corniest thing you've done."

Finn didn't stop teasing me. I tried closing my eyes to stop seeing his face but he still persuades me by being such a goofball. "Stop it, it's not funny anymore."

"Your face says otherwise," he laughed.

"I know you wanted more."

"As if, you dummy."

And from that, I slowly slipped my feet off the blankets to prepare for a run. When he was about to do something funny, I shove my blanket towards his face and I was able to escape. I sprinted more but it was too late.

He used the power of his long legs to race after me until he embraced me in a tight grasp and I had no other choice but to be showered by his kisses.