Jamilton oneshots

Stone cold (hanahaki desease)

Tw: vomiting?, angst?, cussing, death
I edited some grammar mistakes
Some angst for the heart
Alex POV
Roses filled the room,it was beautiful, everything as I dreamed, perfect
Stone cold
Mostly...
Thomas, beautiful as always, in his magenta tux, a purple rose in his pocket ; I told him it was too purple, but he looked beautiful in it, just as I dreamed
Stone cold
Now he stood in the altar, I looked up at him, it was his turn to say his vows
"How to start?, I love you so much, the moment I laid my eyes on you ,I have to admit I loathed you, for how smart and beautiful you could be at the same time" I closed my eyes remembering the day we met, he was ravishing "I remember talking to all my friends about you, even before I knew I loved you , I remember all the dates and hugs and kisses, I remember the day I proposed as the best of my life, I mean, you were beautiful, face flushed, eyes sparkling , I felt helpless and I told myself, this one's mine, I'll never let her go" the reality hit me like bricks , again "Martha darling, you are the person I love the most in this world, beautiful, smart; god, you're perfect, I love you and I promised myself I would never leave your side, and I never will, I love you"
"May the best man give us the rings please?" The priest said
I stepped forward,I looked at Thomas and gave him the ring then I looked at Martha
"Take care of this dumbass" I gave her the ring "we both know he's insane"
She laughed
"Your best friend is safe with me Lex" she smiled at me, I liked her, she's perfect for Thomas; kind, sweet, loving "I'll keep an eye on him"
I blocked everything after that until it was time for the party
You see me standing
I had to give a speech , I was the best man after all
But I'm dyin' on the floor
My heart hurt seeing the loving glances they gave to each other
Stone cold
Stone cold
"Ok gals, pals settle down, today we're together to celebrate the union of the lovely Martha Manning, now Jefferson, and the troll who stole her glasses Thomas Jefferson; Martha honey you should get your eyes checked, you're marrying the ugliest human on earth" Thomas faked an offended gasp while the guests were laughing "anyways leaving Thomas' nonexistent looks aside, as the best man is my job to tell embarrassing stories about the groom" Thomas groaned, the next ten minutes were filled by a blushing Thomas and a laughing crowd "but talking seriously guys, Thomas you're my best friend and one of the smartest man I know, Martha you're one lucky woman, take care of him please" fuck I felt the tears coming "I really wish you a happy life together filled with joy and beautiful stories to tell to your children, I'm really happy for you guys, A TOAST TO THE HAPPY COUPLE!!"
Maybe if I don't cry
I sat down tears brimming my eyes, I blinked them away
I won't feel anymore
I couldn't let my sadness ruin Thomas' wedding
Stone cold
Baby
God knows I try to feel
Happy for you
Know that I am
Even if I can't understand
I'll take the pain
Give me the truth
I remembered the day he told me he proposed , my heart shattered but I smiled and congratulated him, I mean we did have something but that was in high school before he met Martha, now we're just best friends, who knew it would hurt so much?
Me and my heart
We'll make it through
If happy is her
I'm happy for you
I told myself to smile, he was my world so seeing him happy should be enough, right?
Hmm, mm-mm, mm
The band started playing, great, it was time for their first dance
Stone cold
Stone cold
You're dancing with her
While I'm staring at my phone
I looked at them to find Thomas whispering lovingly in her ear,his eyes filled with love and pride, I just couldn't take it, I opened my phone and scrolled through instagram, Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, Pinterest; anything to not see them
Suddenly I felt nauseous muttering some 'excuse me, sorry' I ran out of the room catching a glimpse of Thomas' worried face
Stone cold
Stone cold
I was your amber, but now
As I ran to the bathroom I thought of the dates, kisses, cuddles, fight, hugs, songs,...intimacy, friends and talks Thomas and I got to share with each other, how the looks he gave me melted my heart and how he looks at Martha that way
She's your shade of gold

Stone cold
I stumbled into a bathroom stall and got on my knees I gagged when suddenly a purple rose just like the one Thomas wore in his suit fell out of my mouth, i didn't even scream, i couldn't, the flowers kept falling , I heard steps approaching and quickly flushed the toilet and cleaned my mouth
Baby
"Alex?" Thomas called "where are you?"
"Third stall Tom" I groaned in pain
He got to my stall and crouched besides me
"What's wrong Lexi?" His breath caressed my face "you look pale"
"I felt sick and I threw up, sorry"
he looked at me like I had grown a third eye
"What are you sorry for?"
"I didn't wanna cause a scene or make you leave your wedding without a groom"
"Really?, Martha gets it and I care 'bout you dummy"
God knows I try to feel
Right, Martha, I smiled
"I'm feeling better let's go"
Happy for you
A few weeks later I was standing in my kitchen when nausea filled me, I was used to it by now, normally it was triggered by seeing Thomas and Martha, not right now
I ran to my bathroom and gagged in the toilet, flowers, more specifically purple and magenta flowers, by now I knew I had a sickness called hanahaki desease and Thomas was the virus
I want him to love me but I want him happy and Martha gives him that
Know that I am
Three months later Thomas came to my house to hang out when the urge to puke strikes me, well damn, I push him out of the way as I run to the bathroom, once again I puke in the toilet but this time Thomas is rubbing my back and muttering sweet nothings, when I was done he looked into my eyes
"Hanahaki desease, huh?" I lower my sight "who's the bastard Alex?, tell me who doesn't see how beautiful and awesome you are?"
His words caused a new wave of flowers to erupt from my mouth
"It doesn't matter" I said, he looked shocked "he doesn't love me anyways"
I smiled at him and asked him for a beer
Even if I can't understand
I'll take the pain
He helped in every little thing he could
Give me the truth
Me and my heart
We'll make it through
He really tried
If happy is her
I didn't get better
I'm happy for you
The fateful day came by, the flowers were drowning me so I called the ambulance, the ride was silent, the doctors and nurses knew I only had two options: euthanasia and the procedure, which would take away my feelings
Don't wanna be stone cold
A nurse approached me once we got to the hospital
"Sir, do you want to make a call" she looked at me with a mix of pity and sorrow "your loved ones, the loved one?"
I just nodded, when I had the phone I dialed Thomas
"Hello, who is this?" His voice was groggy
"Hey Tommy it's Alex, could you come to the Diggs hospital? I kinda need you"
"Of course Alex I'll be there right away"
Five minutes later he was entering my hospital room
Stone
"Thomas I'm dying" I held his hand "and I don't know if I want to be saved"
He gasped, tears filling his eyes
"Alex how can you say that?" His eyes were filled with sadness (it autocorrected to seduction) and anger "why didn't you call the bastard that you love to let him know what he's done?"
"I did" he looked beyond confused, I squeezed his hand "and I'm holding his hand"
Tears escaped his eyes and his lips quivered
"N-no" he stuttered, it was cute "I'm so so so sorry lex I-" his own sobbing cut him off
I wish I could mean this
"It doesn't matter, really" I wiped his eyes " could I just get one wish please?"
"Anything"
"Tell me you love me"
he looked taken aback but he pressed our foreheads together, wrapped an arm around my waist and placed a hand to my cheek
"I love you" I knew it was fake but the way the words rolled out of his lips enveloped me "please don't go"
But here's my goodbye
"I love you too, and I'm sorry" I kissed him, short and quick "could you hold my hand?"
Oh, I'm happy for you
He nodded
Know that I am
A nurse came in with a syringe filled with a amberish liquid
"Mr. Hamilton are you ready?" I nodded but my body was shaking "don't worry is just like falling asleep"
she injected me and left the room
Even if I can't understand
Thomas gripped my hand
If happy is her
"Tommy, take care of Martha" his tears fell on my face "take care of yourself"
If happy is her
My lids were heavy
"I'm happy for you"
I'm happy for you
And I let go

WC: 1631 words
Kay guys this was sad to write, thanks for reading , also could you please leave in the comments what triggers you please? I want to get to warn you of any sensitive topics I may write of
Love you 💗💛💙