Jamilton oneshots

Here comes a thought

TW: slavery, cussing, discrimination, homophobia, implied rape
This is kinda vent, so...
I edited some grammar mistakes
Thomas POV
I can't lose him
Take a moment to think of just
flexibility, love, and trust
Before him everything was dull, plain, empty
Take a moment to think of just
flexibility, love, and trust
My life became flexible and bright, I love him, I trust him
Here comes a thought,
*flashback*
it was the first slave auction my father took me to, I'm glad he did; Alex was covered in bruises, he was skinny as hell, pale and weak but he was still beautiful and strong in his own way
People were examining him, touching his body, opening his mouth and shoving their fingers in it to feel his teeth, tears were staining his face
The auction started and I took him home, on the way there I explained him he'd be attending me and because of that he'd have a room next to mine
Things went on well for two months or so, he had new clothes, a bed, food and he started to trust me so one day after he took breakfast to me I approached him
"Alex" I said while standing up and heading to him, he looked up at me "has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" I placed my hand on his cheek and he stiffened, eves widening as he went pale; what happened? "Darling are you ok? Did I do something wrong?"
that might alarm you.
"Please sir, whatever you're planning to do, do it quickly" what was he talking about?
"Excuse me?" His eyes watered as he unbuttoned his shirt, I gripped his hands "What are you doing?"
"Undressing myself, like I'm supposed to" ok, what the hell's happening here?,he must've misunderstood my confused expression "or would you like to do that? Master Peter prefers that I do it myself" wait...! Peter is my father, anger boiled within me
"What do you mean Alex?" Alex was full on sobbing now
"Please sir, end it quickly, I didn't mean to disrespect you" his legs gave out "I can't take it any more, I thought you'd be better than him, than all of them"
I kneeled besides him
"Alexander" he looked at me "What are you talking about?, who are you talking about?"
"M-master Peter sometimes gets into my room, a-and he hits me and touches me" sobs wrecked his small, frail body "I-I'm so sorry sir"
"Oh Alex , darling it's alright" I caressed his cheek "may I see, may I see what he's done to you?"
A slow nod indicated i could proceed, hesitantly I unbuttoned his vest, shirt and took his pants off , the view was terrible, love bites covered his neck and bruises painted his body on purple and greenish hues, cuts were visible in his back, arms and tights
Enraged I took his hand and dragged him into Peter's studio
"CARE TO FUCKING EXPLAIN??" Peter looked taken aback "why is my slave-" Alex flinched at the word and I felt like shit for calling him that "covered in GODDAMN BRUISES and can nearly be touched without breaking down??"
Peter stood up and walked up to me, or so I thought until he went for Alex and slapped him
"Slut" Alex covered his face and started shaking as Peter threw a punch at him "couldn't keep your mouth shut you fucking whore"
I stepped between them and grabbed my father's hand
What someone said,
"Get out of the way you disgusting fag" Peter slapped me "you think I didn't notice how you look at any freaking male that comes into your view? And then you get something for your freaking slave"
"I'm the one who is disgusting?" I looked at Peter with disbelief "at least I don't fucking rape people"
and how it harmed you.
"Oh Thomas get over it, they're immigrants, they won't feel a shit" he pointed at Alex "you think the likes of him won't try and steal our jobs? Our country?"
"They're people" I took Alex's hand "That's why we're leaving"
"We're? He is a slave and he is my property"
"Not really, the scriptures are on my name and I paid for him so" I took a step towards Peter "he's mine"
Something you did,
In the rage of the moment I punched him
that failed to be charming.
Some time later Monticello was built, I had enough money on my own
*End of flashback *
I stand in front of Alex and some other slaves I could get that were scripted to me (there was about 60 of them) it's a small staff but I can manage
"I'll be assigning chores" the line of people straighten up "this is a big house but I trust we'll be fine" I get to a French and two Mexican girls "let's see, Adrienne, Lucy and Celeste will handle the kitchen" the next group of three is sent to the stables and I go on until there is only ten people "now Itzel, Aixa and Ivan will clean the first floor of this house; Estefania, Laurel and Amédéé will handle the second floor and Amelié, Dako and Annushka are in charge of the third floor" I turn on my heels "Alexander you'll be my personal assistant"
*time skip cause of hijab lady 🧕🏾*
Alex and I are getting closer whit time but so are an Irish slave named Heracles?, Hercules! And Alex
Things that you said are
"Alex darling could you come over?" I sit on my bed "I need to talk to you" he walked to my bed while rubbing a vase with a clothand sat besides me "it has come to my notice that you rather enjoy the company of your Irish coworker Hercules, is it true?"
"Yes Thomas" he replied without removing his gaze from the vase"Why do you need to know?"
"Oh just information I require" he raises his head and suddenly notices my bare chest,staring for a minute or so before his eyes travel to south "tsk-tsk, darling, my eyes are up here" I say while placing my hand in his chin and raising it "I'd like to believe my face is as much beautiful view as my abs and..." I take one of his hands in mine and lead it into my V-line and letting go of his chin to wrap my arm around his waist, I push myself forward to connect my lips to his ear "south regions"
suddenly swarming and, oh
I hear him whimper
"S-stop, I'm sorry sir"
Immediately I break  apart and hold his hands
"Darling"  my heart hurts from seeing him in tears "darling, look at me I'll never do anything without your complete and explicit consent"
He nods, stands up and leaves the room
You're losing sight,
My sight is blurry, I'm so stupid
You're losing touch.
I punch the wall, it should hurt but I feel nothing, suddenly I notice a maid pulling at my arm, my face drenched in tears and a hole in the wall
I'm such an idiot
All these little things seem to matter so much,
It's been a week, Alex brings three meals a day, never stays for longer than needed, talks only when talked to, his eyes never linger in me as they used to
that they confuse you,
I miss him, i miss him, I miss him
That I might lose you.
And there he is with mulligan, flirting, laughing, singing...FUCK!!, kissing
Take a moment remind yourself to,
No,no,no,no...
take a moment and find yourself,
I run to my room and the first thing I see is my fucking face in the mirror, I look like a mess , and now I've lost him
Take a moment to ask yourself if
...right?, I mean he didn't look happy in the kiss and now that I remember, Mulligan pulled him in, i have hopes
this is how we fall apart?
But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not.
And even if I didn't, I still have myself, I close my eyes
It's okay, It's okay, It's okay, It's okay, It's okay.
Lean into the mirror
You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear.
And rest my head in it, it's cold
I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.
And I can feel it, my breath fogs the mirror a little, my hand is touching its reflection, my feet are on the ground, my heart is beating and I'm alive, I'M ALIVE and that's beautiful, I'M beautiful, my feelings are beautiful and my life is precious
I'm myself
Alex POV
Here comes a thought,
Those late nights in which Peter got in my room
that might alarm me.
His cold hands against my body
What someone said,
All those insults
"Whore", "slut", "fag", "weirdo", "dumb", "useless", "unnecessary", "thief", "terrorist"
and how it harmed me.
I believed them
Something I did,
Hercules kisses me, I pulled back
that failed to be charming.
I run out of there, I love him, as a friend
Things that I said are
That night I told Thomas to stop, I compared him to his father
suddenly swarming and, oh.
I'm losing sight,
He doesn't see me for too much time,I take care of that, and when he sees me, he quickly rips his gaze off of me, am I really that disgusting?
I'm losing touch.
Why can't I just be brave for once and confess my feelings
All these little things seem to matter so much,
Thomas ran out of the room when Hercules kissed me
Does he like me?; he only wants sex, right?; I mean I'm just His slave
that they confuse me,
I want this to end
That I might lose me.
But I can't leave, my cousin killed himself and I won't become him
Take a moment remind yourself to,
I walk to Thomas' room
take a moment and find yourself,
I breath in and open the door, his face is stained with tears and he's leaning into his mirror, a hand on it and the other one on his chest as he mutters
"I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok;I'm alive, I'm here and I'm ok"
Take a moment and ask yourself if
this is how we fall apart?
"Thomas?" He quickly turns around "are you ok?"
He took me away from his father, he stoped when I asked him to, I want to give him a chance
But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not.
I walk towards him and take one of his hands into mine
"I'm sorry" I breath in deeply "if you want something with me, I would gladly accept, I just find it hard to trust people"
It's okay, It's okay, It's okay, It's okay, It's okay.
Slowly I place his hand above of where my heart would be, and place my hand above his
His eyes well up and he starts sobbing
"It's ok, I'm here and we're alive"
I've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear.
He takes me in his strong, warm arms
I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.
He smells like cinnamon, for once I feel happy of being alive
And it was just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought.
It's okay, It's okay, It's okay, It's okay, It's okay.
We can watch, we can watch, we can watch, we can watch them go by.
Time passed and we grew old, together
From here, from here, from here.
Take a moment to think of just
flexibility, love, and trust.
We need one another
Take a moment to think of just
flexibility, love, and trust.
We need each other
So, in this thing black fellas aren't slaves, immigrants are; Alex's an immigrant and Thomas' family owns him, Thomas loves him, Alex loves Thomas and my head was full of bullshit while I wrote this (some of the slave's names are French, Russian or in Spanish)
Sorry for taking so long, things have been a mess at home, school, relationships in general; I know this is shit but writers block hit me hard, thanks for reading , love ya ❤️
WC: 2124 words