Jamilton oneshots

everything stays

Thomas' POV

Phillip is crying
"baby, it's your turn" i say as i snuggle closer to Alex "c'mon darling wake up"
i hear him groan as he sits up, he mumbles a curse and heads to Phillip's room, i slowly sit up and rub my eyes, i get up and make my way to Phillip's room Alex is there trying to calm him down
"really Thomas?" he looked a me while shushing Phillip "if you were going to wake up anyways you could have handled it"
"but baby i enjoy watching my boys" I say as i sit next to him and pull him close "sing, that always calms him down"
"k you lazy rascal" he said as he hugged Phillip "ok little man here we go
"Let's go in the garden¨
i held Alex close as we taped Phillip's first steps we both had tears in our eyes, suddenly Phillip fell to the ground and i rushed to help him up, he had scratched his hands on the grass but didn't cry because of a ladybug passing by
¨You'll find something waitin'¨
i made my way across the sea of kids inside the house, Philip's third birthday, god time flew by, as i approached the back door i saw Alex sitting on a swing we had put up a yer back, Phillip on his lap
"what're you doing out here, it's fun inside¨
"well Mr. Jefferson¨Alex looked pointedly at me ¨Phillip wanted his daddy here before we cut the cake¨
¨tell me Mr. Hamilton, when will he arrive?¨ i offered my hand to Alex ¨and may i keep you company until then¨
¨stop being weeeeeeeeiiiiiiird¨said Phillip before Alex could answer ¨daddy you know dad, why you calling him Hamilton and Mr.???¨
¨ha ha, you're rigth little man let's go inside¨ I say smiling sweetly to my son, as I help them both up "let's have some fun"
Right there where you left it Lying upside down
it was Wednesday after work, i entered the house slowly and i place my coat on the couch before going to Phillip's room, when i reach it i see my seven year old son and my beautiful husband laying down in the same spot i left them as they talk lowly
"well, there's my handsome princes¨ Alex turns around to see me, his skin still pale ¨feeling any better?¨
¨i threw up the soup and Phillip hasn't been able to eat, the milk was spoiled¨
i go to them and cuddle them, soon we're asleep
When you finally find it,You'll see how it's faded ,The underside is lighter when you turn it around
my heart rate picked up as i searched for my wedding ring, i had just taken it out to take a bath and then it was not there, i decided to tell Alex to get rid of the guilt of losing it, when I told him he just hugged me while saying it was ok, i had nothing to worry about.
some months later as me and Alex cleaned the bathroom, we even decided to clean the medicine cabinet, as I was looking for the expired pills I found the bottle of Phillip's vitamins, I opened them to see if there were some left,  instead of pills I found my ring the colors were dull because of the lack of polishing but it was there; how it got in the bottle I had no idea but I still had my ring
Everything stays
After that, thing get a little blurry, I only know I fucked up
Right where you left it
I broke their hearts, I hope they can forgive me
Everything stays
I left, and they stayed
But it still changes
I know they've grown
Ever so slightly
It can't be that bad, right?
Daily and nightly
How many days have I been missing from their lives?
In little ways
What has Alex done to his hair
When everything stays
Are they where I last left them?
Let's go in the garden
The car plays in the background as I pull up in the driveway of my old house, I get down of the car and go into our garden, I see the wheel tied into the tree but it's grey instead of black and a little cushion is attached to it, the rope is old and fragile, I suppose that there has been at least 2 years of ignoring it and leaving it under the sun to fade away
You'll find something waitin'
The rocks crunch under my shoes when I step in front of the door and ring the bell, I wait for a little as I inspect what has become of the place; the mailbox is repainted they changed 'jamiltons' to 'Hamiltons', as if I was never part of the family, well it's not like they could think anything else; the color of the house is no longer grey, now it's a shade of brilliant blue
Right there where you left it
As the door opens up, I see a 13 year old Phillip standing in the doorway, curly long hair and freckles dusting his cheeks, the intelligence in his eyes doesn't surprise me, he was always a smart boy. I have the urge to launch forward and hug him but I know better than that the moment his eyes harden when he sees me
"...dad?" The doubt in his eyes dissipate as I nod "what are you doing here?, what do you want?"
"H-hello Phillip, ummmh I-I need to talk to Alex" Phillip looks at me with disgust before trying to close the door, I stop the door with my hand "please Phillip"w
He hesitantly opens the door before sighing and letting me in
"Take your shoes off and wait in the couch" he says as he turns around and runs upstairs "PAPA DAD'S HERE TO SEE YOU"
"shit- sorry Phillip, I'm coming" I hear Alex say before he rushes down the stairs and falls "ow"
Lying upside down
"I know I'm late I'm sorry John-" he starts saying before he gets up and sees me "Thomas"
His hair is pulled back by a ribbon, it's longer than I remember probably by 4 inches, his stubble is completely gone, some wrinkles in the side of his eyes have formed from smiling and he's wearing a dress shirt and some blue pants
"Alex" I can't stop admiring him, he's as beautiful as ever, changed but beautiful "look, I-I know I let you down and"
When you finally find it
"Save it Jefferson, I don't want to hear it" he turns around and goes into the kitchen, I follow quickly "I mean, what did you expect? To come back and have run back into your arms? To remake our lives and adapt to you?"
"Alex look" I look down ashamed "I just-"
"Oh hell no Jefferson, I'm not finished" he scoffs "you left, you fucking left me with a seven year old boy, you said you'd be back in two months, Jefferson it's been six years, Am i supposed to run back to you? I don't think so, now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with John in ten minutes, he'll be here soon"
He pushes me out of the way and starts heading upstairs before turning around
"I suppose you don't have a place to stay" I shake my head "of course not, you moron, you can sleep in the bedroom tonight, I want you out by tomorrow"
You'll see how it's faded
He goes upstairs and I follow, as we approach the last step Phillip's toys come to view scattered around the place
"Phillip! I've told you to clean up before" as he bends down to pick the toys up I catch a glimpse of his wedding and engagement rings, both are a little rusty but they are still on his finger "What am I gonna do with that kid?"
"Ummm, Alex I'm gonna go to the guest room is that ok?" He looks up to me, tired "if you want help I'll do whatever you need"
The underside is lighter
He stares at me
"Thomas I don't know what to-" he gets cut off by the doorbell "that must be John"
He goes downstairs and opens the door, I stare while standing at the foot of the stairs, John hands him a bouquet of sunflowers and lilies, hah Alex is allergic to pollen
"Hello dear, I got ya some flowers" John hugs Alex "are you ready to go?"
Alex holds the flowers but keeps them away from his face
"Just wait a second" he rushes back to me and whispers "do me a favor and get rid of them"
I nod and go into the kitchen but John sees me
"Thomas?" I look back and nod "what the hell is he doing here Alex?"
"I don't know John he got here today, let's just go"
They get out of the house and I watch as they drive away
The rest of the afternoon is filled with watching movies with Phillip, giving him dinner, helping with homework and putting him to sleep before I take a nap
When you turn it around
I wake up to the front door slamming open, I go down and see Alex crying soaking wet with his shoes in his hand
"Alex are you ok?" He just nods and starts swaying before he collapses, I rush to catch him and realize he has a fever because of how hot his skin is "my god you're burning up"
I pick him up and take him to the bathroom
"Alex, I'm going to undress you is that ok?" He just nods "I'll keep your boxers on"
I take his shirt off and then start removing his pants then I fill a glass with tap water and give it to him
"Here, drink" I turn the shower on and get the water cold "come on lets cool you down"
I help him in and wash his hair, after we're done I receive him with a fluffy towel and carry him to the bedroom
Everything stays
"Alex what happened?"
"We went on a date but he just wanted sex so I left and it rained on the way home, then a homeless man kinda attacked me and made me give him my socks and money"
"Oh Alex" I hug him "it's alright now, let's get you dressed"
After he puts a fluffy pajama on I tuck him in
"Why'd you left" he asks suddenly "did I do something?"
"Oh honey,no I'm just stupid, I got scared I thought you were tired of me so I thought it was best to leave"
Right where you left it
"Don't leave again"
"I won't"
"I don't trust you yet"
"I don't expect you to"
"But...but I want to trust you"
Everything stays
"I love you" I hold him close as I whisper in his ear "so I'll help you trust me again"
But it still changes
"I love you too Thomas, goodnight"
Ever so slightly
I slowly leave the room and head back to the guest room
Daily and nightly
We love each other but he doesn't trust me, I get it I was a dick
In little ways
We'll just have to work it out
When everything stays
An: this took long, sorry things have been going on at home, but thank you for reading ❤️❤️❤️
WC:1923 words