Jamilton oneshots

I hate you

TW: cussing
This shit will be angst
Alex POV
Thomas Jefferson.
It had to be him, it just had to be, my new dorm mate for the rest of college just had to be my ex.
He stood tall and proud as always, his curls surrounding his face and that permanent smirk plastered on his face; eyes shining like stars; it was clear he hadn't shaved for at least a week, his stubble was awfully groomed, not that I could say I was any different; ripped jeans hugging his legs and black t-shirt that showed his muscles.
FUCK, he got hotter.
"Hamilton sweetheart" his voice snapped me out of my daze "I know I'm hot, but you should at lest try to stop drooling before you get the floor wet"
He was currently pouring a flask of vodka on his coffee
"I ain't drooling Jefferson, I'm just realizing how thankful I am we broke up" liar "that way I won't be responsible of you when you get drunk before noon"
"Whatever Hamilton just stop starting"
Time skip 'cause I'm a hoe
As I predicted Thomas came home shit faced drunk, he stumbled into my room with two bottles of beer in each hand, I glanced up from my work before resuming my writing
"Heeeeey Ha-Hammyyyy" he drawled as he threw himself at my bed "I brought ya some beer so you can relax darlin"
"Jefferson get out of my bedroom, I need to work and I have no interest on being hungover tomorrow" I stared at him in disgust "and don't call me Hammy... or darlin"
I kept writing, hoping for him to leave, so I was pretty startled when I felt his lips on my neck
"J-Jefferson get off me" his hands were placed on my waist "s-stop"
"Alex, darling, Hammy, mine, I'll call you whatever I want" His hot breath grazed my neck "cause I know you won't mind it, deep down you love that I call you all those things, just as you did three months ago, when I fucked you hard against the wall, table, bed, floor, counter want me to keep going?...baby girl"
I was undone, his hands and hot breath against my skin, I would have been mad at all the things he said if they weren't true, then I remembered he was drunk
"Stop" I pushed him off me "you are drunk, you don't know what you're doing and you'll regret everything in the morning"
I grabbed his hand and dragged him to his room, threw him on the bed. and I was about to leave when he grabbed my hand
"P-please don't leave me alone, I-I" he started crying "I can't be alone, please stay"
I hesitated, I mean, he's my ex for God's sake, but I finally crawled into bed with him and hugged him until he fell asleep, without realizing I fell asleep between his arms
In what felt like just a moment I'm being shaken
"Hamilton,psssst HAMILTON"
I jumped up, scared as shit
"U-uh wha? What do you want"
"Get out of my bed" He said coldly "now"
"Geez, next time you come to the dorm drunk I'll let you cry yourself to sleep"
"You should" his eyes traveled my body with a disgusted look "it's not like we're dating anymore"
Those words slapped me in the face, hard, I looked down and stood from his bed
"Yeah, you're right"I stepped out of his room stopping next to his door "next time just bring one of your many whores to help you sleep"
"Maybe I will Hamilton" he smirked "I like any of them more than I like you"
My eyes watered as I slammed his door shut and ran to my room, collapsing on the bed and sobbing into my pillow, the memories coming back
*flashback*
"Tommy,Martha do you like the blue or black one better?" I said holding two shirts up, I looked up and saw Martha pressed up against a wall kissing Thomas, tongues rubbing against each other "Thomas?"
He let go of her
"Alex, darling it's not what it looks like" he looked down "I-i ... I'm sorry, I swear it won't happen again"
"Shut up" I looked up at Martha "What happened?"
"W-we were just talking and we leaned down and kissed, I'm sorry Alex, it was an accident i swear we didn't mean to... I don't even like Thomas that way"
I knew Martha wouldn't lie to me so I let it slide
"J-just, don't let it happen again" I looked up at Thomas "Please"
He hugged me
"Of course darling, I promise"
Some time later we went to a party we were all drinking as if the world would end the next day, me and Thomas were grinding on each other to the beat of the music
"H-hey T-tommyyyyyyy" i wrapped my arms around his waist "I n-need to throw up"
Quickly I detached myself from him and ran to the nearest restroom emptying my stomach into the toilet and flushing it afterwards, when I returned to the dance floor I found Thomas making out with Aaron, I wasn't mad, both of them had no clue of what was happening, they were both a beer away from collapsing so I slowly went up to them and pulled Thomas away from Aaron
"Oh darliiiing, you're here" Thomas hugged me as thigh as possible "can I get a beer?"
"No Thomas, we're going home" I looked at Burr "you should too Aaron, let me call you a cab"
After getting Aaron home safely I took Thomas into our department and made him drink lots of water, the day after he apologized for kissing Burr and of course I told him it wasn't his fault, it had just happened once before while sober, right?
No
This time I was alone, walking down the street when I saw Thomas in a fancy restaurant wearing the suit I gave him and sitting across James Madison, I ignored it, they worked together, that was it, I'd ask him later
I went to the grocery store and bought everything I needed so I headed home, as I opened the door there were voices that  could be heard from the bedroom, I put the bags down and silently walked to the room, when I reached the door I peaked through a small crack and there was Thomas in all his glory fucking James Madison in our bed
"Say that you love me" said Madison between moans "more than anybody"
"I love you more than I could love anyone else James"
"Are you sure?" Madison pulled him close and they slowed down "more than Hamilton?"
My stomach twitched 'say no, say no, please say you love me'
"Him?" Thomas laughed "he's just a whore Jemmy, you know I'll be done with him soon"
That was the last fucking straw, I kicked the door open
Both of them turned to see me, fear in their eyes, I ignored them and went to the closet, taking out a suitcase and shoving all my clothes inside it
"L-Lexi?" Called Jefferson "I-it's not what it looks li-"
"Save it Thomas, I don't want to hear your bullshit"
I rushed to the bathroom and packed all my essentials, I thought I had everything packed and then I realized the cushion my mom made for me was in the bed, I slowly walked to the bed and pushed Jefferson out of the way, grabbing the cushion, now cum and sweat stained
"You're fucking nasty"
Jefferson looked at me with pleading eyes
"Alex please it's not what it looks like, I can't live without you"
"You'll survive Jefferson" it was the first time i called him Jefferson since we started dating "I'm just a whore anyways right?, and call me Hamilton"
I grabbed my suitcase and my cushion, trying not to touch the body fluids, I called a cab and ran out of there
*end of flashback *
You're just a whore Alexander don't forget that, I said to myself as I fell asleep again
Time skip 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 because of the lgbt+ flag
Jefferson came home drunk every night
Until he didn't, I was in the kitchen when he entered the dorm
"Hey Hamilton"
I turned around and he smashed his lips against mine, I had waited for so long hoping this would happen that almost immediately I kissed back , things goat heated pretty fast and we fucked.
The next day I left his room quickly, full of shame, shame that would not stop me from repeating my actions the next day, and the next one, and the one after that, and so on; it became so frequent that now it could happen more than once a day

Just like that, my efforts to hate him went down the drain, I fell for him... again

I was waiting for him to come home like the other late nights, ready for our routine: argue, make out, fuck, leave his room, argue, make out, fuck, leave his room, argue, make out, fuck, leave his room.
I was ripped out of my thoughts when he opened the door, the only difference than always was that he had a girl on his arm, I recognized her, her name was Maria Reynolds, poor girl
Poor me.
I went to my bedroom and cried the night away

Just like that, my efforts to keep myself happy went down the drain, he broke my heart... again

The next day I left my room to get some coffee, eyes swollen and hoping I shouldn't have to see Thomas, but he was there
"God Alexander you look like shit" he sneered "like you cried all night"
He smirked as I took in his appearance, Love bites on his neck and scratching on his body
"I did cry all night" he looked confused "because I realized you've been fucking random girls and probably gave me an STD"
"Aw, did you want me all to yourself?" He smirked once more "how cute"
"No, I expected you to have the minimal level of intelligence and not have unprotected sex with more than one person at a time" (btw, this does not prevent you from getting an STD but whatever) I glared at him with anger and disgust "I should have learned from before that you don't, I finally realized who the whore is between us two and it's definitely not me"
He looked hurt, he stood up
"I'm sure you just want to piss me off for me to fuck you" he went to his room "but if you're that worried about getting an STD then just forget our little hook ups"
I just poured some coffee and drank it all, the coffee burning my throat, and numbing my emotional pain, I regretted saying that but I had the need to feel in control for once, but I just blew it, as always.
The next few days Jefferson came home hammered drunk and a girl hanging from his arm, a different one for day; the moans and groans always keeping me awake, haunting me, so one day I decided to test his strategy I bought a bottle of vodka and a bottle of tequila and drank the vodka in one or two hours, when Jefferson arrived I had my music turned on as I danced around the dorm, the tequila bottle in my hand, traveling occasionally to my mouth
As Jefferson came in, he noticed the stench of alcohol and pushed today's girl out the door, he stared at me, incredulity in his eyes
"What the fuck are you doing Hamilton?" The way he spoke sent chills down my spine, all sober and stuff "put the bottle down"
"Which bottle?" I put the tequila to my lips an swallowed several times before Jefferson had come to me and forced it out of my hands "Hey! T-that's
mi-hic-mine, let go of it Thomas, p-please"
I begged while he put it out of reach, I was about to start yelling at him when I  noticed some cuts and bruises on his face
"T-Tommy, What's that" I extended my fingers to touch his face but he flinched "let me see Thomas"
"Leave me alone Hamilton "
"What happened?" I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the couch "are you ok Thomas?, I'm here for you"
"Do you remember Maria?" I nodded the memories of their noises too loud in my head "well, her boyfriend ganged up with other girl's boyfriends and they kinda beat me up"
I scooted closer to him to examine his face, my hands were placed on his cheeks and he held my wrists almost lovingly
"Ha" he slapped my hands away from his face "just a few days ago you told me I was a whore, but now you're rubbing on me like a bitch on heat, I hope you had fun lying to yourself, you ARE a whore"
Tears started pouring from my eyes
"You know what Jefferson?, maybe I am a whore, at least I'm not an inconsiderate, heartless prick like you" I fisted my hands and got up from the couch"god... I HATE YOU!!!!"
My sobs wrecked my body and some tears escaped Thomas' eyes
"I actually don't but" I slumped my shoulders in defeat, my voice was weak and the rage was gone, and once again I felt impotent, the sadness and fear took over my body as I wiped away the tears "i don't know why I still care about you when you don't care about me, I don't know why even when I know you've moved on and even though I know you never loved me, I still love you and want the best for you"
He carried me to his room, put me in his bed and hugged me, we stayed like that until we both fell asleep
In this moment, when I lay between his arms and he hugs me like if I was a life boat in the middle of a storm, I don't care if we both decide to forget tomorrow and I don't care if he hates me even more, because right now I feel loved and that's enough for me to be happy, at least for today.
Hi, so... the angst is my life , thank you for reading, I swear something nice is coming, some fluff for our hearts,love you all❤️❤️❤️
Word count: 2430 words