Jamilton oneshots

Lump in my throat (ventish?)

Thomas POV
I sat at the table with my hands on my knees
"What do you want for dinner Thomas?" I heard Alex "do you want some green juice?"
"No, thanks you, I'm not hungry" I was hungry "I just want to sleep"
The lump in my throat grew bigger by the second and I wanted nothing more than swallow it down, get rid of it but I didn't want food to push it down, it would only be temporary and it would hurt
"Thomas I don't know Why you're still upset, we talked about it and we both concluded that it's up to your dad if you go or not on that trip, you cannot control it, let it go"
"That's not it" my eyes were watering, the lump was growing bigger "just let it be, I'm not hungry"
"Oh god Thomas, you always make big dramas, just get over it!!" My breathing fastened and the lump grew bigger and bigger making it hard to swallow, it hurt which only made my eyes ven more wet "now you're crying, GREAT!!"
"Stop, please" I couldn't talk properly "just stop"
His face turned into one of frustration and anger
"You know how this plays out! Your father tells you what to do and you do it because you don't want to upset him and your sisters!! It's always the same!! Get over it! You should be happy you can even travel!!!"
"THAT'S NOT IT!!" Tears were pouring down my face, my voice was ripping through the lump "IM NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRIP, IM MAD BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A CHOICE AND IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME... I'm not about not mad about not wanting to go, I'm mad that even if I did want to go it would still feel forced, I'm mad about the emotional manipulation my family uses to force me to go, I'm mad about the fact I'm leaving behind things i care about for this trip"
The lump stayed there, I knew it would never go away
A/n: this sucks and it's short, the smut is coming don't worry, thank you for reading
Wc: 36p words