Jamilton oneshots

What did I do wrong (extra)

Tw:mentions of suicide
Not really a part 2 but This are all the texts Thomas tried to send to Alex
Happy birthday Alex
Hi this is pathetic because I know i won't be able to send it to you, but I miss you
Happy Christmas
Happy New Years
Semestral exams are coming and the stress is terrible
It's almost Easter so, I guess "happy Easter" 🐇🐇
I got into  a science contest in school
I miss you
Finals ended already, it wasn't s bad I got a ten in maths and Spanish
I won one 'academic excellence award' and one 'excellent level of English'
I miss you
Hi, I'm going to finish seventh grade in 2 days and I need you, I'm scared, I don't know what I did wrong but please forgive me, you are really important to me, I thought it might have been a fase but it's been a while since your birthday when I tried to congratulate you i swear I did try, that's what i realized i couldn't talk to you and I'm still not allowed to send you the message, I'm going to prom, I wish I could take you with me and introduce you to my friends, I miss you
My vacations started 14 days ago, on June 16th, yesterday we picked up my aunt and cousin from the airport because they live in Canada, you should have seen their faces of relief when they saw us, I miss you,
My grandma has 5 kittens, 2 cats and 6 sheeps, my grandma is here so I have to go, I miss you, I love you ❤️
In March I discovered a musical named 'Miranda: an American musical' and it's beautiful
I almost know every lyrics in Miranda
I searched your Facebook account on my cousin's phone hoping to see you had deleted it or lost it but I only saw it's still working and even knowing that I can't convince myself that you don't want to talk yo me, or see me or know of me, even if it's clear I can't forget our games or talks or that at some point you gave me a 'best friends' necklace and I can't forget you supported me and listened to me when no one else would, it hurts because even if it's obvious that you don't want to see me I can't accept it
8th grade already started, I miss you a lot, I'm gonna have physics and I don't know what to expect
Happy September 16th, I dreamt about you today, i dreamt I went to your birthday party and you got mad about seeing me there and you said you had stopped loving me, that little by little you had stopped liking hanging out with me and I think that's what happened in real life, at the end of the dream your party ended and I knew it was the last time I saw you so I cried and begged you to forgive me and let me stay, you asked me not to because you wanted that your last memory of me I was happy, and I kept begging you to let me stay in your life and even thought you don't read this messages I beg you here too that you let me stay, I miss you and if you really don't want to see me at least I would like to say goodbye properly, know what I did wrong, whatever it is, I'll ask for forgiveness a thousand times and I beg you to forget it, to remember me as the little boy that cried and laughed with you and that even after all this time, still loves you and misses you
Today is September 29, 2017 it's almost a year of not talking to each other, tomorrow is your birthday and my mom and sister say only the people who are worth it stay,but for me you are still worth it Alex, I don't know what to do anymore, I believe my friends don't want me anymore because today they almost ignored me the whole day, it didn't help at all that it's been a year since I tried congratulating you and instead found out I couldn't talk to you, Alex I don't know what to do, what if I made my friends sick of me like I did with you??
Happy birthday Alex, I love you
Ok, I know this will never get sent and I know you will never find out and the most probable thing is that you don't care anymore, that it doesn't matter or it's worth less than a shit to you if someone told you I killed myself but I need to tell someone or at least pretend, that when we promised each other to always be there to support each other it wasn't just another worthless lie, my dad says that there's this woman he dated that is now pregnant and she says the baby is my father's and I'm afraid, I'm really afraid, I don't have the slightest idea of what's going to happen and that terrifies me but well, what's the use of talking to an empty screen?, huh? I don't know, I don't have the slightest idea what's the use of things I normally do anymore like pretend you love me and you'll answer someday or thinking of when we were little and we promised so many things, maybe I should stop but, why? For what?? It's not like it makes a difference, right? It's not like you care on the slightest what happens in my life and it's not like if this message ever gets sent you'll care... and to think that I still miss you and still care about you and cry because of you, I'm pathetic right? Ridiculous, idiot, broken idealist
How do you do it? You always look so happy, it never looks fake or am I really that much of a bad friend to not notice you're sad, I want to stop existing or to be able to go back in time and stay in one of our games, the real games, live on the same moment forever and feel like I felt on that moment
Hi, today is December 12th, 2017 And it's been a while since I last talked to you, today's classes were cancelled because my school became catholic and they made the day of the Virgin Mary official, we were cleaning old papers with my sister when I found a school picture of kindergarten and I remembered everything we went through and then I found some letters you wrote me where you told me you loved me and you would always be there, It was a sad but happy moment at the same time
I've thought about it and I think I'm pansexual
I told my best friend (I already have more friends I really don't know why I keep writing to you) that I like him and he hasn't talked to me, I'm afraid what happened with you will repeat itself
Alex, I love you and I miss you but I will try not to write here anymore, it just hurts me more
A/N: hope you enjoyed, not much of a plot but whatever, thanks you for reading guys I love you all ❤️❤️
WC:1228 words