This is the video for the poem in this chapter so credit to this poet
Daniel Seavey's P.O.V.
I got bullied almost everyday. I feel like I had no place where to put my feelings out in to the world so I'm trying something called slam poetry. I wrote a poem about being bullied daily at school. I woke up and got dressed, reluctant to go to school cause I have an accent cause I'm not from America. I'm from South America, Brazil specifically, and English isn't my first language. Portuguese is, so my English isn't the best, causing me to have trouble communicating with people. I stood in front of the mirror, brushing my teeth. I spat the foam of the toothpaste into the sink, rinsing my mouth with mouthwash. I sighed before grabbing my backpack and a couple of pop tarts for breakfast before walking out the door. I got to the school just as the principal's anti-bullying assembly started. It's during first period and the principal asked me to read my poem in front of the assembly. Even though I agreed, I still get nervous. And I stutter a lot when I'm nervous. I took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling, trying to calm myself down. I sat backstage in the auditorium while the principal is talking. I got worried that people will laugh at me because of my accent or the fact that I don't speak English very well. Aside from that, I'm also worried that I'll either get nervous and stutter or that I'll have an anxiety attack in front of the entire school. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself again. This is it, Daniel. You can do it. I got up from my seat and walked to the stage as the principal introduces me. I tried to stay calm, seeing the eyes of the thousands of students in school. I watched as the principal left the stage and I was left alone. I stood behind the podium, clearing my throat for my speech.
"Dear bully, you control every aspect of my life and have infected my brain. Make me feel so small that I start to believe that I'm the one to blame. Like it's my fault things have turned out this way and I can't do it anymore. I'm going insane. I'm serious. I'm done. I'm tired of always being the victim to your fun. Worthless. Ugly. All words you have called me. How do you think those words have affected me? Did you think I could just brush them off? Like none of them meant anything to me. Like I could just forget about them at the end of the day. If you did, then you're wrong. Every word pierced my heart. Like you were stabbing me with your voice. I can't take it anymore. I hope you're happy now? You've won. When will it stop? You keep pushing me and pushing me. Feel like I'm caught up in this wave struggling to breathe. Trying so hard to keep my head up, but man, I am drowning in this sea. I just don't know what I did to deserve all of this? Why do you feel the need to belittle and shame me in front of everybody? Is it to make me feel bad? Cause if it is then you're too late, cause I hate myself already. Thanks to you I no longer feel safe. Not that I did in the first place. As I walk down the corridors I can literally feel my heart race. You make it very clear that I don't belong in this place. Constantly going to school terrified, never knowing what's gonna come my way. I live each an every day afraid and that's all on you. How can live with yourself knowing you treat people this way? And how messed up must you be to still think of yourself as great. You're literally fueled by negativity and hate. I may be weak. I may be uncool. But you find enjoyment in watching people suffer. What does that say about you? And everyone laughing along in the crowd, watching someone get bullied, you're all just as bad too. I don't wanna live in a world where kids can be so cruel. So how about you spend less time judging people, and more time trying to understand them. Try and spend a day in their shoes. I want you to know that your words don't hurt. They bleed. They're not just the bruises on my skin, they cut deep. Infiltrate my mind and haunt me in my sleep. They are the sole reason to my constant anxiety. Thanks to you I started walking with my head down. Always nervous, flinching when anyone's around. Too scared to raise my voice or make a sound. Cause I know that would lead to trouble. I can't remember the last time I laughed or was even happy. You get so used to being treated like nothing that it doesn't hurt anymore. You just feel empty. I have one question. Why? What messed you up so bad that you found enjoyment out of making others cry? Thanks to sick people like you innocent people have died. Cause they feel like there's no way out other than suicide. You know that right? Do you get some sick pleasure out of that? Does it make you feel good inside? Knowing that your actions are literally destroying lives. How do you live with yourself? How do you sleep at night? With your words and your actions you made me wish every day was my last. I'm not the problem, and I never was. And I want you to know that you no longer own me. You no longer rule my life, because you no longer control how I think and feel. I know you were hurting, and that's exactly why you wanted to, and did, make me hurt. And I'm sorry that nobody reached out to help you when you needed it the most. I wish that they did. Because then maybe all of the things you did to me would have never happened. I get to use what you did to me as a life lesson for others, so that hopefully, they don't do it to someone else. And finally, I want to say I forgive you. And I don't mind coming back here now. I found my way out, and I hope you do too." As I recite the poem, I kept my eyes closed. I remembered the each member of the football team, one by one, the usual people who bully me. After I was done with the poem, I opened my eyes, their stares were on me and no one was making any sounds. I got extremely nervous, making me look down at my shoes. That was, until, they started clapping. Applause can be heard all around the auditorium. I looked up and smiled at them, "Thank you." And then I hurriedly exited the auditorium. I sat alone in the courtyard, trying to calm down and collect my thoughts. The adrenaline rush still making my heart beat faster. I felt startled when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and saw a girl with black hair. She titled her head, "You okay?"
"I guess. Who are you?"
"Samantha. But just call me Sam." I just gave her a nod. She smiled, "That was a good speech back there."
"Thanks."
Word Count:1,243 words
