PTX One-Shots

A good night of sleep [SCOMICHE]

Mitch' P.O.V.

I haven't been able to sleep well lately. I don't know why. My mind won't be silent. My body feels like I will never be able to ever wake up again, but my thoughts keep me wide awake. And it's not even like haunting and/or disrupting thoughts. I think about today, tomorrow, random videos I saw, tweets from fans I saw that day etc. I think I have some form of insomnia, but how? Don't those sorts of things need a cause?

At last, this night is no different, but it's even worse. There's a heavy storm outside and my room constantly lights up for a moment from the lightning and then a few seconds later I hear the big grumble. Ever since I was a little kid I hated storms. My mom used to tell me to count the seconds between the light and the grumbles. The longer it takes before you hear it, the further away it was. Our town didn't really have big thunderstorms, so the seconds I counted were always quite a lot and it would help me relax, knowing it was far away, but one time this wasn't the case. One time the sound was immediately after the light. The light was so bright and the grumbling was so loud, it scared the hell out of me. In fear, I hid under my blankets, so I didn't hear anything, not even the sirens entering my street. My mom went and got my sister and my dad came in my room to get me, finding a ball of blankets on my bed and immediately understanding it was me hiding under my blanket. But he got me out of bed quickly and brought us outside. No, the sirens weren't for us, but our neighbors. Their house was struck by the lightning and caught fire. The firemen wanted us to get out of the house as well, before the fire escalated too far, too quickly. Luckily, that never happened, but the house of our sweet neighbors was practically destroyed and unlivable. They had to move and it broke my little child heart. Ever since that day, I was always just as scared that would happen again, or worse. Even though I'm twenty-five now and fairly a grown man, it still gets me and still makes me anxious.

I grabbed my phone to see the time, its bright light blinding me in my dark room. It read 3.27 am. Too late. Too early. Depending on your perspective in life. I didn't know what to do. Usually I would just try to sleep, but every time the lightning strikes my heart races and I'm wide awake again. I wanted comfort, no, I needed comfort. And the only person that could really comfort me right now is fortunately in the same house as I am, Scott, but I'm in doubt. Should I wake him up solely for the reason I cannot sleep because of some thunder? I'm a grown man for God's sake, he'll just think I'm hideous. I think I can manage a night without sleep. I'll just drink a lot of coffee tomorrow and have a nap.

That was my plan. After a little thinking, I decided to change my plan. Tomorrow is a busy day, including writing sessions, singing in the studio, and we had a party to go to that'll probably go on until three am or something. There is no time for naps and no way I can completely survive the day on coffee. I just needed to sleep now.

Another lightning strikes. The grumbling was a few seconds later. I was now sitting straight up in my bed, sweating and breathing fast. When is this storm gonna be over? Then I quickly realized that an app on my phone can check that, so I grabbed my phone again. The bright light shining in my face again. To my disappointment, it showed me that the storm won't die down soon.

Maybe there was a way I can block the storm out? I could listen to music. And since I had no other options I decided to try listening to music. With my headphones in I didn't hear the storm and when I close my eyes I barely see the light. I smiled. This is it and I don't have to wake up Scott. I was still laying on my back, but there was a problem when I decided to turn. When I laid my head sideways on my pillow, I felt an excruciating pain from my ear to my head. My headphones were pushing a very sensitive part of my ear. Great, add a headache to my list of problems right now.

My first reaction was to get up and get some painkillers from the kitchen. I stood up, throwing my blankets to the side. I opened my door slowly, trying to not make a lot of noise, not wanting to wake Scott up. I tiptoed down the hallway towards the kitchen. The Advil was the first thing in sight as I opened our medicine cabinet. We put that there on purpose, so we don't have to search for it when one of us or someone else is hangover. I grabbed a glass that was still standing on the counter. I had no idea if I had used it or Scott, but I didn't seem to care because I just wanted the headache to be gone and I was too tired to give a fuck.

I was still leaning against the counter. I could hear the enormous amount of rain clattering against our windows. I drank some more of my water until the lightning struck again. In shock, I dropped the glass of water, a big pool of water surrounding my feet together with shattered glass.

'Shit, shit, shit.' I whispered loudly. I had to clean this up now, but the room is so dark that I have no idea if I'll step in a piece of glass if I take a step. But I can't stand here forever, so I took the risk.

'Ow, fuck, god damn it.' I felt a tiny piece of sharp glass stabbing my foot and it hurt like hell. In pain, I quickly sat on the ground after taking one more step, where I was sure there weren't little pieces of glass anywhere. From a small distance I heard silent footsteps, a door opening, louder footsteps. I woke Scott up, damn it. Why do I have to be such a baby when it comes to lightning.

'Mitch?' Scott spoke softly, turning the kitchen light on, blinding me because of the sudden bright light. 'Sorry, didn't mean to blind ya. Is everything okay? Why are you on the ground? Did you drop a glass?'

'Yeah, it- it was just an accident, it slipped from my fingers. I wanted to clean it up, but I stepped in a piece of glass because I couldn't see anything, so now my foot hurts. Care to help?' I asked, feeling slight regret for waking him up in the middle of the night to help clumsy me.

I didn't get an answer from Scott. He just went to one of our drawers to grab some tweezers for the little piece of glass in my foot. He also came back with bandage and band aids, what a hero. He fixed my wound and together we cleaned up the glass.

'Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to bed again. You know we have a long day ahead of us.' Scott said and I laughed awkwardly.

'Yeah, I'll try and go back to sleep as well. We have to be well rested for tomorrow.' I laughed it off and we walked to our hallway. Scott opened his door and a few foot further I stopped. He was about to close his door and I could tell he wanted to say "goodnight", but I stopped him.

'Hey uhm-' Do I say it now. I have to say something. He'll think I'm like a baby if I tell him. But I need sleep and right now I can't sleep alone. But what if he thinks I'm weird and then... then our friendship could be ruined. Scott opened his door completely again and stood in the opening, looking at me with a bedazzled look. 'Never mind, I'm sorry, goodnight.' I turned around and walked away again, heading to my room and hoping the storm will die down soon. But Scott grabbed my wrist, which made me turn around again.

'You know you can tell me anything, so what is it? Oh, and I don't want you to say "it's nothing".' He knows me too well, damn it.

'I-uhm, I haven't slept yet this night. It's because of the storm and a childhood trauma that I can't get rid off. I'm just really afraid and I wanted to ask if I could stay with you tonight, because I can't seem to fall asleep on my own, but it's dumb. You probably think I'm like a baby now, so I'm sorry. I'll just go to my room and we'll pretend like this never happened.' I got out of his grip and stepped away, ready to whisk myself back to the scary loneliness of my room and preparing myself for a few awkward days with Scott.

'Mitch... you shouldn't be afraid to say that. Especially in front of me. Come here so we can cuddle in my room. All i want is for you to feel safe.'

That night, even though the storm was still going on as heavy as it started, I felt the safest I could ever feel.