Cut It Short

You

I've never felt so good whenever I see you.

You are the one that I've been waiting for.

It started with a simple glance from you.

I have this moment of serendipity while drinking a cup of jasmine tea from the veranda that sees through the city from afar. For all I know, it was already enough for me to halt all sadness and desperation that I used to feel when I was looking for the one – the man that I have yearned for. Yes, I am still single and kind of old. I might say, "brush it off and stay single," but my heart says otherwise. At this age where I can say that I have experienced it all is just an understatement. Even then, I went all over the world to look for something precious and delicate yet carefree. Until I look in the mirror and I saw my reflection – it was me. I have been trying to find myself. And when I found out, I stopped looking for the man that I have always wanted to have.

My phone rings and it always gives me excitement. I don't know why this happens to me every time I receive a call from somebody. I answer it and it is from my work.

"Mr Fajardo, your book will now be set to be released in America!" he exclaims.

I'm really giddy deep inside and I clear my throat and responds, "Really? That is nice. Finally!"

"Expect any call from the director of the publishing company from now on. He likes your writing style."

"That is overwhelming to know. I am in owe right now."

"Don't be, Mr Fajardo. Just celebrate."

"Certainly I will celebrate this... alone. You know me."

"I know, I know. Don't worry."

Moments later, the call ends and I have decided to go out and have some brunch outside the house and eat something fresh.

I feel fresh and clean while walking down the street. Everything seems new and changed. Perhaps this is caused by not going out that often. It seems to me that the sun doesn't scorch that much. The breeze from the seaside gives a reverie of a Hawaiian noon while the flowers are blooming like Spanish bougainvillea. The road looks pristine and people are quite lively.

I saw your smile in a bustling city.

It was the only thing I wished I had.

Maybe you were that one remedy.

I might be right, I might be wrong.

But you were the blossom of my dreams.

I just finished eating the best tamale in the neighborhood's restaurant and I went outside. A guy smiled at me and I returned the favor by doing the same thing. He approached me and asked for my number, which eventually I refused to give. He turned around and leave. Perhaps that is how I repulse people around me.

Back in high school, I was a member of this book club where I would always voice out my opinions about those writing styles of poets and authors. I would say that, "It must have been better if they wouldn't try to make things seem obscure." Now I am paying the price because of what I said and did. In writing, you really need to be distant and obscure about your emotions because it would turn out to be an autobiography if you can't be as descriptive as a bard or as a poet.

Many things still remind me of my wayward childhood. I had tendencies to repulse people because of my weird behavior. I've never been so desolated since then. No wonder why I haven't had any intimate relationships outside my family.

In times of mass repulsion that I have caused, my mother has always been there for me. She never left me hanging because of my unpredictable behavior. Sometimes she would cook something sweet and let me eat it with her while talking about something.