Sweet Caroline (Corey Crawford)

Playing With Emotions

Corey

As the preseason begins to wrap up I get in a few games. I was named the starter so I don't take a heavy load in the preseason. You don't want to get hurt but you also don't want to be rusty come the start of the regular season. So I was going to take the last home game here tonight to make sure I'm ready for the season.

I get up early and head over to the United Center for a skate. I change into my pads and head out to the ice. I see Caroline in the stands with her writer friends as always and I smile big. I wave up to her and she waves back at me.

"Are you waving at your girlfriend" Seab's teases and I glare at him.

"Very funny Brent" I mumble. Why he insists on making my life hell is beyond me.

"I don't get why you won't just break up with Julie already? You're not doing anyone any favors" he insists.

"Because she doesn't deserve that" I claim.

"Give me one good reason why you stay" he asks.

"I don't know... it's just what I'm accustomed to. She's been with me as long as I've been here. And it hasn't always been good, well, it's rarely been good, but it works" I shrug.

"Do you love her" he asks.

"Yeah" I insist.

"Do you love her or did you love her" he reiterates and I stop.

"I don't know" I sigh.

"You do know and you're afraid to admit it" he claims.

"What makes you so interested in my love life" I wonder.

"Slow news day I guess" he shrugs. "Oh, and by the way. Jonny and Caroline are going out to lunch today" he smirks before skating off. He's lucky he did because I was ready to smack him across the face.

I don't know why but that pissed me off beyond measure. The thought of him, with her, it made me sick.

I look over and see Jonny at the glass talking to Caroline. She started to laugh at something he said and for some reason that made me upset way more than I was willing to admit.

I skate over to my crease and sit there. I stare at the ice as I try to shake my head of all those thoughts. Thoughts of him with her, him making her smile and him making her happy.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when a puck hits my chest. A unwritten rule in hockey is not to shoot at a goalie when he's not set and somebody broke that rule.  Someone skates over and taps where the puck hit my chest to taunt me. Without thinking I push the guy hard and he falls back onto the ice.

Everyone stops to turn to me as I stand there looking over the guy. I see it was Dave Bolland sprawled our in the ice staring up to me.

"What the fuck is your problem" he barks.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I don't know what happened" I admit.

As a goalie I play with a lot of emotions, it's how I do things. Some guys turn them off and some of them thrive on it. Me, I was the second one. I let things get to me and I like to act hard and tough, but I wasn't. I was probably the softest guy out here deep down but I could never let them know that. Sometimes I just can't control how I feel or what I do about it and I do stupid things like push my teammates because a girl I could never be with is going out with another teammate.

"You better fucking fix it Crow" Dave snaps as he gets up. He skates away and I let out a sigh.

I see Jonny skate over and I roll my eyes, this is all I needed right now. Mr. Everything trying to talk to me when he's part of the problem.