Fall Off The Grid (adopted by twenty one pilots)

//three - last of the past//

Laney's POV

I woke up the next morning, my eyes adjusting to the world around me. For a split second, fear engulfed me when I wasn't in my own bed. But, then it hit me that everything that happened last night was real. 

There was a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and mind-numbing thoughts in the back of my head. 

They couldn't possibly want me here, right?

I have nothing to offer.

Maybe they just want to save someone.

I can't be saved.

I then heard indistinct mumbles come from the stair case as my thoughts spun back to my subconscious. Tyler and Josh knew so much about my problems already. I mean, all I am is problems anymore. They couldn't see me lost in thought like this. I lifted my eyes to meet the voices growing in volume. 

The two boys shuffled down the stairs, shoving one another either which way before hitting the living room floor. Tyler was the first to notice me.

"Oh, you're up! Great!" His voiced seemed to be made of pure joy. "Want any breakfast?" he asked me as he walked into the sleek kitchen that joined the living area. My stomach churned slightly at the mention of food. Food seemed so unappealing now. When I did eat, my stomach would hardly ever keep it down. It started a few months ago, but now, I simply couldn't handle food. 

"Uh, nah. I'm okay. Thank you, though." I saw Tyler's eyes look me up and down questioningly, but he seemed to brush it off. Josh didn't though.

"Are you sure? You really should eat something," Josh's voice sang out from the kitchen, dripping with concern. He really couldn't hide emotions, from what I could tell.

"I never eat much." They exchanged glances as Josh came out to the couch.

"Why?" He seemed to think I chose this, which I don't blame him for. I'd had my fair share of fasting and issues with disordered eating. But, I had mainly worked past that. This was simply my body rejecting food from the pure depression I was made of now. I didn't know why, and had no clue how to answer his question.

"It isn't necessarily by choice. Maybe in the past, but now, even when I want to eat, my stomach almost always rejects it. Started a few months ago." His concerned didn't seem to go away, but he did seem somewhat relieved by the lack of more mental illness. I had too many problems, they'd ditch me with another one.

"Okay, but we're gonna have to make sure you eat semi-regularly," he said quietly. I nodded. I wanted to try. I wanted to be normal. I just didn't know if I could pull it off.

After watching Tyler and Josh eat, me drinking a glass of water, they looked up at me expectantly. "Yesssss?" I said, laughing slightly. 

"Want to do anything today?" Tyler asked. 

"Well, actually, could we try to stop by my house today? My dad will be gone for hours. I really didn't think I'd need much more then what I had brought, honestly." I looked down at my hands at the mentions of last night. I still craved the feeling I had standing up there, free for a second. 

"Of course," they answered back in unison. 

In a matter of minutes, we piled back in the car and drove to my worst memories. I sat back, letting the sound of one of my favorite bands, Panic! at the Disco, blare through the speakers. As Brendon's last words from 'Hallelujah' simmered out, Tyler put the car in park. 

I opened the car door slowly and began walking up to the door. It seemed so different now, bleak and empty. I trudged up the stairs to the place I used to spend all of my time, not even bothering to close the door or welcome Tyler and Josh in. I ripped the clothes from my closet and drawers, the posters from the wall, and the mementos from the room. I finally entered my bathroom, packing up all the stuff I had left in there, checking them off in my head as I went.

-shampoo and conditioner

-soap

-makeup bag

-toothbrush

-ra-

Did I need these? What if Tyler or Josh saw them? I looked down at the small bag that contained all my coping techniques for the past six months. It shined in the lights of the vanity. I debated more and more in head when Tyler's soft voice startled me. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Almost ready?" He smiled slightly. I nodded as I threw the bag into my stuff, ignoring the intense guilt building in my gut. "You okay? You're shaking," I again nodded. Mentioning anxiety just made it worse. I had to leave this house. 

"Let's just go. I can't be here." My voice was much quieter and more rushed then intended, but Tyler got the message. I picked up my bag and ran down the stairs, heading straight for the door and walking out to the grass. Someone's warm hand met up against my back.

"Better?" Tyler's voice immediately calmed me. 

"Yea, just a lot of bad stuff there." He nodded once then led me back to the car, looking at the clock. 

"It's around 1. Lunch anyone?" he asked the car. Josh nodded happily as I shrugged. Tyler didn't hesitate to pull back from the driveway and head towards the main roads of Columbus. I saw the last of my house slowly shrink as we drove farther and farther. I was finally gone. Finally away. 

a/n: quick, filler chapter before anything else starts. comment ways you could want the story to go. also, if you liked it please comment, it makes me really happy. take time for yourself today. read a book, take a shower, watch a show, anything. stay alive guy |-/