Fall Off The Grid (adopted by twenty one pilots)

//twenty one - she blew away//

Lane's POV

I sat in my bunk for hours. I tried to sleep but I couldn't stop thinking about what Pete had said and also the fact that I was just like my dad. What if I was? What if I was just using people endlessly and hurting them, only to abandon them when I get a better deal? I was such a fucking waste and I didn't want to deal with it anymore. I heard talking from the front of the bus. "Lane, we're heading in for soundcheck fro tomorrow's show. Can Brendon take you in when they go to their soundcheck?" 

"Yea," I answered through the curtain, grateful he didn't open it. My face was bound to be red and tear-stained plus my knuckles were probably a mess and I didn't even get to see how bad they really were yet. I texted Brendon, asking him to come get me from the bus before he went in for soundcheck.

brendon: you got it darlin'. be there in twenty minutes

With that, I slid from my bunk after knowing for sure that Josh and Tyler were gone. When I went into the bathroom, I took in the disgusting sight. There were distinct tear marks down my cheeks outlined in red. My eyes were puffy and my nose was still running. The once neat braid I had in my hair was now pulled apart and more bird's next then hairstyle. I just shook my head at the mirror and quickly jumped in the shower, closing my eyes for as much of it was possible. My legs were sore and so were my arms and hands. I saw big gashes in my knees from falling onto the asphalt and the pain in my arms and hands was from the repeated punches. I didn't want to address how bad my hands looked until after I showered and got ready, so I put on the same clothes as before and put on the most discrete makeup I could to hide my still teary-eyed face and redid my hair. When I was done, anyone could still tell I had cried, but that may have been because I was still holding in tears. Finally, I had about five minutes before Brendon would come in and I took the time to go to the back lounge and see how bad my hands were. The skin on my knuckles were completely ripped up and the bruising had already set in. Dark blue and purple covered over my fingers and some parts were still bleeding. As I looked at the damage I had done, I started to cry again. Someone's voice startled me from continuing though. 

"Hey Lane! I'm here!" Brendon called. Shakily, I wiped my tears and took a breath. "Be out in a sec!" I shouted, the tears in my voice noticeable from my voice cracking on the last word. I hoped he wouldn't notice then cleaned my hands again before fixing my makeup. It looked shitty, but I always did so it didn't matter. It was obvious I was crying, but I didn't care anymore. I tangled my hands into the sleeves of my sweater and walked out playing my phone and refusing to look up. 

"Ready," I said quickly as I walked down the stairs of the bus and towards the venue.  A strong hand gripped onto my shoulder, making me turn around in shock. Brendon looked at my in the eyes and tried to see what was wrong. "I'm fine," I said, acting like nothing had ever bothered me in my life. He scoffed at that. "Lane, you're playing with your sleeves and it's easy to tell that you're crying. Something's wrong, and if you don't tell me I'm going to have to assume the worst." I shook my head and walked away, only to get stopped at the door for not having a pass. I turned back around to a smug looking Brendon who had my pass in his hand. "Now spill." I again shook my head and sat up against the brick wall of the venue. 

As soon as my skin touched it again like this afternoon, the tears started. 'Hold it together for one minute of your life.' I held them in my eyes, willing myself to still act that everything was fine. I looked up to the sky and just pretended no one was there watching me pretend. "Lane, I may be stupid, but I'm not a complete idiot. Tell me what's happening right now." I looked down at my hands and played with the sleeves of the sweater that covered them. Before I knew it, Brendon was in front of my and ripping my hands apart before lifting the sleeve up. He probably thought I relapsed, but when he saw what I was actually hiding, he gasped and cradled my hands in his. "What happened?" he said in the most serious tone I'd ever heard come out of his mouth. The change in attitude was so much that it forced my eyes up to meet his. The look alone made me talk. 

"Pete started to relapse, and Patrick found him. He's fine now and they talked but when he was explaining he said that he was so busy helping me that he didn't know how bad he got. I was the reason behind it all because all I am anymore is a thing to take care of, apparently to the point where people hate themselves more and more. I got off their bus quick and wanted to feel something so I punched the wall over and over again." Brendon's calloused finger brushed over the open skin before he looked up to me. I kept holding the tears back. "I'm turning into my dad. I'm no better then my dad."

Brendon's POV

Hearing Lane explain her hands was paining my heart, but the last few words hurt the most "I'm no better then my dad." I wrapped my arms around her, enveloping her into my chest. "Laney, you'll never be your dad. Your dad was evil, and you are anything but. You're hurt and you never know how to deal with it, but we're working on that. It's going to be okay, I promise." Lane looked up as her eyes met mine. She was searching for some kind of tell that I was lying, but I wasn't; not even close. After a few minutes, we walked into the venue for sound check. I sat her carefully in Fall Out Boy's dressing room and walked to the stage to see them finishing. I walked over to Pete. "Lane thinks that what you said about her being a distraction for you or whatever form yourself means it was her fault. Go talk to her, please." I said carefully, not wanting the guys to hear. Pete looked a little shocked but then nodded and thanked me before running to the dressing rooms. 

Pete's POV

I ran faster then I did this afternoon. I saw her sitting carefully on the couch, knees to her chest and a thoughtful look on her face. "When I said that, it wasn't to blame you. It was to say that I finally had someone to care about other then myself and I needed that break, I really did. I was just irresponsible. It wasn't you, Lane. It never will be." She smiled as she looked up to me and ran to hug me. As she did, I saw her purple knuckles peeking out from the cardigan. I took her hands and kissed the skin. "And you're never going to be your dad. You're far to good for that." I saw her smile a little as she buried her head deeper into my chest. 

By the end of the night, we told Tyler together what happened. He said the same thing we all did, reassuring her that it wasn't her fault. It hurt to see her so hateful towards herself, but I guess I couldn't really talk right now. All the bands decided to come into our bus and watch movies together. They were all picking another one as Lane started falling asleep on my chest. I was scared of losing someone who was just like me. Losing her would be losing myself all over again. 

a/n: another chapter! i think i have a better idea about what i want to do with this book to finish it and i'm also close to being ready to start publishing my urie fic so that's exciting. this band for the song of the chapter is really good so if you like more indie and chill kind of emo music you'll love them. i cried at this song when i heard it. also, i need twenty one pilots to come back with their music already. everyone has these theories and stuff and i could care less  but i just need new music like right now. stay alive guys |-/