Fall Off The Grid (adopted by twenty one pilots)

//twenty eight - wish i was a kid again//

Lane's POV

I have honestly no clue how long Andrew and I sat there, just talking about anything that crossed our minds. After a few hours he took me home, and when I closed the door behind me, I was met by three anxiously awaiting faces. "So, how did it go?" Josh asked, high pitched while giggling. I only smiled and rolled my eyes as I walked up the stairs trying not to laugh. 

"I really like him," was all I said before darting up the rest of the stairs to avoid any stupid questions I didn't want to answer. I laid on my bed with that stupid smile still plastered on my face. 

---time skip, two months later---

I've lived with Tyler, Josh, and Jenna for almost half a year now. It's kind of insane honestly. I went from a girl waiting to give her life up to a girl who's happy. The sunlight peeked through the windows and the early May breeze came through the open screen. I could hear chattering downstairs and a soft ukulele tone ringing through the whole house. They were probably working on a summer tour set list. I sat up and texted Andrew. We've been dating since the day we went to the park. 

He actually cared about me, he always would care about me. And I knew that with no doubt in my mind. I changed into a pair of ripped, black shorts and random, maroon band shirt with the sleeves cut off. As I changed, I looked at my exposed skin. It was two months since the attempt and the scars were healed but still blatantly obvious. I hated those scars. It reminded me too much of the days before I got adopted, and almost made me miss them. They were always going to be there and it scared me to know that looking at them had tempted me to keep up with that kind of life in the past. "They can't define you, Lane," a voice said softly, making me jump and turn around. Tyler stood up against the door jam staring back at me, a little worry evident in his face. He opened his arms and I walked right into them, feeling suddenly protected from the world. 

"I know they don't, but they just remind me too much of everything bad." I took a deep breath before continuing, "And sometimes, when I look at them I want them to be fresh again. I want them to either be new or not there at all and I know it doesn't work like that but I can't handle it." I felt Tyler stiffen at my thought then pull me tighter into him. His touch felt desperate now. We stood there, listening to the wind come through the window, for a long time. When he pulled away, he looked into my eyes and smiled. I smiled back as he took a deep breath. "You're gonna survive it, because you have so far and have come so far Lane." I nodded and hugged him again. 

"Can I get tattoos over them?" I mumbled into his chest, taking in his warmth. "Of course, kid." 

  We spent a lot of that morning looking at designs and things that meant a lot to me to get tattooed over the large, scarred portions of my forearms. I asked Tyler to write out "I began to envy the headlights driving south" for the song that I listened to when I ran away the night he found me. From there the words would melt into an abstract of the bridge in LA. On my other arm would be a large lily portrait surrounded by lyrics every important person in my life wrote out that they thought defined me. Jenna wrote out the words "we've made it this far" because that's the first song she heard me sing. Josh chose simply "friend, please" from the first relapse they had to experience with me. Tyler was the one who sang it, but Josh sat with me through all of it just like Tyler did. I then texted Rory, Pete, and Brendon, asking them to send pictures of lyrics. Pete and Brendon had everyone in their band write one word out. 

Rory sent "you'll be just fine" which is the lyric I used to help her at her brother's funeral. It made me smile seeing her write it out. Brendon sent "bury the memories in the garden, watch them grow with the flowers in the spring." That song was the one that everyone sang in alley from my anxiety attack. What made me smile more was that each word looked slightly different, and could tell exactly who wrote it. Finally, Pete answered. He sent two lyrics, which, in Pete fashion, was not what I asked but what I wanted. His first was "don't lose your fight" from the song he sang over the phone the first night I came home. Lastly, he wrote in only his handwriting "thinking about your past again." Hold on Til May by Pierce the Veil was a song that Pete always said reminded him of me, the story behind the words. I looked at all the words that everyone had written and could feel the smile growing. Finally, I went up to my room and grabbed the one piece of handwriting I had of Alex's. He used to make me keep a note in my phone case that said "breathe" but I had put it on my desk after he died because I couldn't look at it anymore. I placed all of the lyrics how I wanted around the lily design and finally in the center of the flower placed his scrawled handwriting. "I love it Lane," Tyler said, looking over my shoulder and smiling. I leaned back into him and hummed a response. "You ready to get it?" Josh asked, holding his car keys up proudly. I laughed and nodded before we went to his friend that did his sleeve. 

We must have sat in that shop for hours to get it done but soon enough, it was finished. Josh's friend looked up to me with a hopeful and nervous plea in his eyes before I looked at my arms and beamed. I felt tears prick my eyes as I scanned my new art. Some of the scarring was still visible but decorated, which was exactly what I wanted. "I love it," I whispered as I looked over to Tyler, Josh, and Jenna. They were all talking and on the phone but when Tyler's eyes met mine, he smiled and walked over before looking at the new tattoos. 

"They're amazing," he said happily, kissing my head and hugging me. I hugged the artist and Tyler paid before we all headed to the house. When we got there, there were a few cars in the drive and my boyfriend sitting on the stoop of the house. I looked around the car to the smiling faces of my family and rolled my eyes before getting out and hugging Andrew. "What did everyone plan without me knowing?" I asked, laughing a little. Andrew didn't answer but only piked up my arms gently and smiled at the art. "They look amazing, babe" he said, kissing me quickly before taking my hand and bringing me inside. I saw Josh, Jenna, and Tyler following behind. 

When I walked in, there sat Brendon, Dallon, Kenny, and Dan on one couch and Pete, Patrick, Joe and Andy standing in the living room. When I saw them I practically screamed before running over to Pete and jumping up into his arms. "I missed you so much!" 

I heard his muffled laugh and smiled at how familiar it sounded. I hugged Patrick, Joe, and Andy tightly, them all kissing my head before pushing me off to the next person. When I turned around Brendon was standing and smiling. I ran into his chest. "God, what are you all doing here?" I asked. He chuckled and ruffled my hair before passing me to Dallon. "We came to celebrate your tattoos and a new chapter," Dallon answered, smiling and pushing me over to an expectant Dan. When the hugging was finished, they all looked at my tattoos happily. 

Brendon wrapped his arm around my shoulders and whispered "They look amazing darling." I leaned into his side, feeling completely at peace with everything. The rest of the night was spent in the living room, all of us wrapped into blankets and on the couches. Andrew had me in his lap with Brendon and Pete sitting on either side of us and Patrick, Andy, and Dan all sitting in front of us. On the other couch was Tyler and Jenna looking similar to Andrew and I, Josh and Dallon on either side and Joe and Kenny on the floor. I have no clue how many hours we all sat there, eating junk food and making jokes and laughing. But, I felt completely happy and fresh. Summer was here, a new tour was on the horizon, and I had a family who all love me. This was all I ever needed. This was the peace I finally found.

a/n: so, this is the last chapter of this book. the final chapter, my first finished book here, and i loved every second of writing it. thank you to the people who have commented and voted so much and just anyone reading. this character is very much like me and i wanted her future to be something of hope because that's what i want for myself. thank you so much for letting me be here and write this story out.

i like this song for the chapter because the story behind the song is about a girl Vic knew named isabelle and she actually did overcome her depression in the end but the song describes her struggles and i think that's kinda magical. hopefully, you guys like the song choice. 

also, there will be a sequel. i don't know when, but i'll start mapping it out soon and writing soon too. i plan on posting my brendon urie fic at some point in the next few days and i'll post an update here when it's up so you can read that to kind of off set this book ending if you want. thank you guys again for everything. it means a lot.

stay alive guys, and see you soon |-/