Fall Off The Grid (adopted by twenty one pilots)

//five - game plan//

Laney's POV

After last night, Josh and Tyler sat me down and told me their 'game plan' or whatever they concocted to try and help me. I felt like I was six years old again, getting scolded for breaking a vase.

"First things first, we're taking you to a doctor. We have to make sure you're healthy after all the abuse." I felt chills run down my spine at that. Doctors terrified me. "Then, your eating. We want to try to see what's causing the issue and fix it. You're already way too light as it is." I held in my scoffs. "From there, we can sort out medications and stuff." Tyler seemed to have finished his plan, leaving me to exhale the breath I didn't know I was holding. He didn't mention taking my blades. Maybe he forgot.

I know I want to get better, but even having them with me made me feel safer.

I nodded and lifted myself from the couch heading up the stairs. "Hey, Lane!" I turned quickly from my spot on the stairs. "We leave in an hour so get ready, okay?" Another breath exhaled. I finished walking up the stairs and opened up the door to my room.

It was painted dark grey and had pictures of their old posters up. The bed was a light wood finish and the sheets were as grey as the walls, all covered by a cream comforter. My mind couldn't stop thinking about the small bag I'd tried to hide and failed at that Tyler never mentioned. This wasn't something he'd just forget. I picked it up, hearing them rattle together like they wanted to start a fight, and slowly walked to the door.

The guilt was becoming too much to hide them, but did I really want to give them up? I decided to compromise, hiding one somewhere in the bathroom and handing the rest over. I slipped my hand into the small cloth bag, carefully fishing for one as I opened the door. I jumped back immediately.

Tyler sat in the hall next to the bathroom, watching my door as it opened.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said, looking down at his lap and scratching the back of his neck like he does. "I thought you wouldn't appreciate me just telling you to give me the blades. I thought you'd prefer me asking instead." Tyler eyed the small bag, almost glaring at the pain these things caused for people. He also eyed my hand that once fished inside of it in the open door frame. I had one in my palm, and I hoped to God himself that Tyler wouldn't question it.

"Here, I was going to give them to you," I said slyly, handing the bag to Tyler and sliding down the wall next to him. He looked over at me. "What?" I asked quietly, knowing what was going to happen next. I felt my heart beating faster. I still think I'm too broken to recover.

"You know what I'm talking about, Laney." He didn't look at me anymore, just his lap as his hands flipped over themselves. I opened my palm just enough to see the light reflect off the surface.

"What if I'm not ready to give it up?" My question turned to whimpering whispers.

"Trust me, you'll never feel ready. But, you are. Please, just trust me. Things look up after you lose your last touch to all things bad." I was met with his eyes now. I couldn't keep this anymore.

A single tear slid down my cheek as I rolled the thing that once was all I had into Tyler's palm. I looked down then, into my lap, feeling everything I ever knew fall from my shoulders and be replaced with an even heavier weight of having to be better. I didn't want to get better for me, but I had to for them.

I stood up, not exchanging another word with Tyler, leaving my silence to sit there next to him. I grabbed clothes and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I stripped down and hopped into the shower, quickly scrubbing at my skin like all the scars and marks and past would fall away. It never did, but I scrubbed anyway.

After showering, I looked into the mirror at the appearance I had to work with. I pulled my blue hair back into a side braid, watching all the baby hairs flurry out instantly. Then, I applied the lightest touch of makeup I could muster. Foundation, concealer, powder, and filling in my brows. Once I thought I'd looked decent enough, I pulled on my grey jeans and black sweatshirt, finishing it with black vans later.

When I opened the door, Tyler was still sat there. He stared forward, like I had only paused the conversation and didn't leave it. I sat back down. "What's up, Ty?"

"You know we really do care about you, right?" I nodded my reply. While I always would have thoughts that they didn't really want me, I knew somewhere deep inside they cared. "Good. We need you, Lane." Josh and Tyler started calling me that a lot, a name that only few thought of. I liked it, like hiding in plain sight of a new name. "Okay, enough of the sap. Ready to go?" I nodded again, this time much less sure of my answer.

a/n: thanks for reading, hope this isn't boring. focus on the little things that make you smile today and drink water! stay alive guys |-/