Fall Off The Grid (adopted by twenty one pilots)

//fifteen - mayday//

*again, serious trigger warning for the next few chapters at least. just be careful please*

Lane's POV

Sleep was nearly impossible. After last night when I found out Alex was gone, I've laid in the bus in the back lounge with the door locked. Tyler paced around in the hall for awhile, knocking on the door and hoping I'd at least unlock it. I felt bad for worrying him, but honestly, I couldn't even stand let alone walk to the door and open it wide enough for him to walk in. So, I laid there feeling like all of the comfort and security I had gained was gone. It's been almost twelve hours since I was in here and I couldn't hear the scuffing of shoes on the carpet and hushed whispers of all of the bands outside anymore. The window showed that the sun had fully risen. It was probably ten in the morning and I had no intention of starting the day. Brendon had already arranged to push all of the tour dates back one week so that Panic!, FOB, and twenty one pilots were all back home with me. 

I didn't want them all to stop their lives for this. I wanted to slip and be completely alone with my destruction, not have it analyzed by the eyes of musicians. A couple more hours of thought passed before I finally fell asleep. It was about three in the afternoon by now and Ty had only knocked a couple of times. I think he knew I didn't have blades with me or anything to really hurt me enough to be too concerned so he was leaving me be. My brain soon shut off completely and my dreams consumed me.

flashback into dream

I ran faster and faster from my house, fearing the worst if I had stayed there. My phone was back at the house, shattered with all of my other belongings in my room. Dad drank too much again. Eventually, I hit the park where I always went when things got really bad. I knew that Dad didn't care enough to keep running after me, even if he wouldn't have stumbled and broken all of his teeth doing so. I laid against the grass patch that I usually went to when I wanted to get away.

The ground was cool and soft under my head, slowly becoming wet with tears. My life was falling apart piece by piece. I grabbed the blades from my bag and twiddled then between all of my fingers to delay the inevitable. My new friend Alex who I met a week or two ago made me promise I'd stop because it was such a terrible habit. I don't think he realized how addicting it really was though.

"I'm sorry Alex," I whispered quietly into the wind while dragging the metal against the previous scabs. "Don't be sorry," someone answered from behind me. I jumped and dropped the blade into the grass before turning around and seeing the tall boy standing there with a backpack laying next to his foot. I cried harder and jumped into his arms, apologizing over and over again, more to myself and the universe then him. He hushed me and cleaned up my arm before sitting down with me and just letting us look at the stars.

Alex and I talked all night that night, eventually going back to his house and falling asleep late into the night. From that day on, he was my best friend, the only friend I could ever love and trust with my heart completely.

I blinked my eyes and found myself sitting in that same park on that same patch of grass. Everything from that night was the same except Alex was missing. I heard a scream ring out from a few feet away and I sprinted to see Alex laying bloodied and beaten on the ground. "Alex!" I yelped, "Alex, hold on please. I can't lose you."

Suddenly the boy's face turned dark and evil. He grinned before whispering "You should have been there Lane. It's your fault. It's all your fault and now who's going to clean you up?" I looked down at my arms and found them gushing with crimson. Tears filled my eyes at the thought of losing everyone that was becoming important in my life. "Alex, please. What is happening?" I said is a raspy voice.

"It's your turn to die, and no one is going to save you either" he laughed out as I fell to the ground.

As I jolted up I screamed, covering my face with my hands and clawing at the skin on my cheeks just hoping it was real. I felt the scratches but didn't believe that it was actually happening. What if everything was a dream now? Red fell onto my finger tips and I moved to scratching all visible parts of my skin until it screamed with pain, just to see if I was real. There was banging at the door and tons of loud pleads and screams between a couple of people outside. Honestly, I couldn't hear much other then ringing in my ears.

Brendon's POV

Tyler and Josh left me in their bus with the rest of my band so they could go and do a sound check and get some food before the show tonight. It was the last show before we all flew to Ohio for Lane's friend's funeral. No one has seen her since last night and we were all terrified. The four of us sat in the front room just talking and messing around on guitars that we brought when I heard a blood-curdling scream from Lane in the back lounge.

I sprinted to the door and threw my hands against it in a desperate attempt to get that door open. "Lane? Lane, what is it?" I yelled. "Did you do something, please open the door!" Dallon and Kenny were tearing the bus apart looking for a key to the back room as Dan and I threw everything we had against the thin wood in hopes of getting it open. I heard sobs growing from the room. "Any luck with the key?" Dan asked Dallon with strained hope.

Dallon ran over and slid the thin metal into the lock, pushing the door open to reveal Eva sobbing on the couch and scratching at all of her skin. I pushed towards her and ripped her hands away. "Lane, stop. Stop, you're awake. Please hold on." She looked up and met my eyes before looking down at her skin and being in complete shock. I looked back to guys. All of us realized that she didn't know she did it at all. I nodded to Dallon to talk to her so I could call the guys. The bassist nodded and ran up to her, immediately pulling her into his chest as the phone rang in my ear and I stepped out to the now destroyed front room.

Lane's POV

I looked into Brendon's eyes and that's when I realized what was happening. I didn't know any damage was being caused. I thought I was fine, normal, dreaming. But, it was all real. Without me noticing, Dallon had pulled me into his chest and sent Dan and Kenny to get a first aid kit from their own bus. He was whispering into my hair, and I slowly able to hear it as the ringing died out. "What happened, Lane? How did everything go so wrong so fast?" he repeated over and over again, maybe more asking himself then me. I shifted causing him to move my chin up to meet his face.

"I thought I was dreaming, this was a dream. I saw Alex and he was dying then couldn't help me and then I woke up and I thought I was still sleeping. I had to see if I was real. I had to see if Alex was really gone." The words flowed in chunks, filled with sobs. Dallon probably barely caught it. His eyes scanned over my legs and arms before looking at the scratches on my face. His hand grazed them gently, sending a small stinging through my face that I didn't mind that much honestly. It felt nice to feel pain like that. "I assure you, you're real darling. I just wish that what your going through wasn't." With that, I laid my head into his chest and waited for Kenny and Dan to return.

They did a few minutes later, cleaning all of the scratches then wrapping them up. I was exhausted, wanting to sleep so badly, but I couldn't. I didn't want to see the same bad dreams again. Ty busted into the bus with speed, Josh following close behind, as he ran into the back room and held me close to his chest. Dallon explained what happened for me, leaving him to nod and look back down at me. The marks on my cheeks were still uncovered because there was no way to logically wrap them. Tyler grazed them just like Dallon and I just looked out the window, going through the motions of another break down. This was my life now, wasn't it?

Tyler barely left my side other then to perform where we left me in Fall Out Boy's dressing room. I sat on the floor, staring at my lap. Someone tried talking to me a few times, I couldn't tell who, but I just ignored them. In a few short hours, we were on a flight to Ohio.

a/n: i know the song isn't about this but the lyrics work really well with this chapter. hope you enjoy.