It was really fucking cold... Colder than most days... Even with my beanie on my head and the clothes I wore last night, I was still fucking cold.
I was almost unrecognisable... I didn't know how today was going to work out... Someone was going to notice me... They had to, I wasn't wearing the uniform... Fuck- Gerard!
What the fuck am I supposed to say if he asks? What if he sees my hair? What the fuck am I going to do?!
~~|~~
My body had adjusted to the cold, stinging winds. But there was something that I would never adjust to...
"Frankie!"
I felt my heart stop briefly and my stomach drop.
I stopped in my tracks as the boy, who I knew to be Gerard, ran to my side.
"Hey Gee." I choked out, still in some sort of internal pain from hearing that name.
"Fra- Woah... Are you... Okay?"
Fuck...
I pressed my lips together to prevent myself from speaking, and nodded hesitantly.
And then he asked the question that I begged the universe not to let him ask.
"What happened?"
Fuck. This. Shit. I'm. Out.
"Nothing." I said quickly, trying to move onto another topic fast...
But Gerard was relentless.
"Please tell me," he started, "I care about you Frankie."
I remained quiet, biting my lip to hold back my tears.
I looked up at him briefly, only to be met with his worried gaze.
I kept walking, slightly faster this time.
Gerard did the same.
"Frankie..." He pleaded.
I tried my best to ignore that name... But it was so hard.
"Please... Fra-"
I stopped in my tracks and threw myself into his arms, holding him tightly.
I felt his arms wrap tightly around me, his embrace throwing me off the edge, as I began to cry into his shoulder.
"Gerard I'm sorry!" I sobbed.
"Please tell me what's wrong... I care about you." He said quietly, his words hitting me in the heart.
"My mom kicked me out." I sobbed, my breathing becoming more unstable.
"Oh my god- I'm so sorry... Could you tell me why? Please?"
I stepped back from the hug slowly, looking him in the eyes.
"Gerard," I began through cries, "Fucking swear that you won't tell a soul."
"I won't, I swear." He said, his eyes looking directly into mine.
He was telling the truth... I just knew it.
I reached up to my beanie, "Gerard..."
I slowly pulled it off my head, showing my hair.
He said nothing, he only gasped.
"Gerard, I'm a boy..."
It was silent for a moment.
"Frankie-"
"My name is Frank, not Frankie." I said, a slightly aggressive tone entering my voice.
It was silent again...
I dropped my head and looked at the ground, tears flooding back into my eyes.
The cold winds swept through my hair and across my face, only making me feel more alone.
Until I felt arms... Gerard's arms... Wrapping around me gently...
"You're my best friend, Frank. My only friend... You think I care that you're trans? To me, your my best friend, and you always will be."
He began brushing his fingers through my hair gently...
I didn't speak, I just let a few silent sobs fall onto his shoulder.
"Do you want to stay at my place?"
I looked up at Gerard, him still holding me in his arms.
"Tonight?" I asked, my tears slowly stopping.
"Longer than that... Look, you can stay with me as long as you want."
I buried my face in his chest, smiling for the first time in a long time.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"Anytime, Frank."
He then pulled away from the hug and began walking me to his home.
Fuck...
