I had been living with Gerard's family for about a week now... It has been great so far.
I've skipped every class except for Mr Weekes' classes. Mostly because mom cut my school fees, and Mr Weekes is the only teacher who still lets me hang around.
He hasn't questioned my hair, he must not really mind.
I met Gerard's younger brother Mikey, he's kind of quiet, but he has some serious fucking skill on the bass.
There is one downside to living here with Gerard.
Its being called "Frankie" and "she"... But I'm going to get that wherever I go, at least for now.
Gerard has been so... Amazing. I love him, yes homo.
Overall its been great... But Dysphoria has been getting to me more and more lately... I know Gerard will be there when I need him... He always will.
~~|~~
Gerard and I were supposed to he asleep a long time ago... It was 11pm now... And we were both awake...
I wanted to tell Gerard how I felt... About him...
The thought of it was giving me butterflies... Or was it an upcoming panic attack? I don't know.
"Gerard?" I asked, awkwardly laying next to him.
"Yeah?"
"I think I'm gay." I said, biting my bottom lip in anticipation.
There was a brief silence, but it was broken by Gerard.
He let out a small chuckle, "Well I'm gay, so that's cool."
I giggled for a moment, but when the butterflies in my stomach returned, my laughter faded and the room fell quiet.
"No..." I started, "I think I'm gay for you, Gerard."
The room was silent for a moment, before I heard the sound of Gerard sitting himself up straight. I didn't know he could do anything straight.
I did the same nervously, eventually meeting his hazel eyes.
"Frank..."
Fuck... I should never have told him...
"I'm sorry." I started, "I didn't mean to say that... I..." I began to trail off.
"Frank."
I stopped speaking and looked him in the eyes.
"Frank I'm gay for you too."
FUHK WOAH. OKAY. WHAT DO I DO. BREATHE. I CAN'T BREATHE. I'M GOING TO COLLAPSE... OH GOD I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO VOMIT I CAN'T BREATHE.
"Oh okay." I said, trying to shrug it off as smoothly as possible, hoping he didn't see the panic and excitement in my eyes... That didn't work.
Gerard darted his eyes down to my lips for a moment then back at my eyes.
"I saw that." I snapped.
"What do you mean?" He asked, leaning in closer towards me.
oh god Frank don't fuck this up.
"I think you know exactly what I mean."
"Maybe I do..." He whispered, getting closer and closer, until we were almost touching.
"Gerard?" I asked.
Before I could process what was happening, I felt his lips passionately pressing against mine.
When I realised what was happening, I shut my eyes and put my best effort into this kiss.
My heart began to race. I was surprised it didn't beat out of my fucking chest.
We were perfect like this... I wanted it to stay like this.
Gerard's lips were so soft, unlike mine which were chapped, faded and damaged as fuck.
This was how it was meant to be...
Me... Gerard... And our lips pressed against together...
