Just Live

Chapter 28

"Doc, it's been a week, my daughter still hasn't woken up."

"I'm sorry, Mary Ann. I know we're all eager for Maine to wake up, but unfortunately, that's not in our hands anymore. We are doing everything we can to prevent complications but there's only so much that we can do."

Mary Ann nodded and looked at her husband for comfort, which Teddy gave by holding her hand tightly.

"Mary Ann, Teddy, I do have something to talk to you about," the doctor said.

When Maine's parents nodded and remained quiet, the doctor proceeded with what he wanted to discuss with them.

"I have to discuss your daughter's advance care plan status and health care directive."

Crunching his eyebrows in confusion, it was Teddy who spoke up first.

"Doc, what is there to talk about?"

"Maine is currently an R, meaning we will do everything we can to resuscitate her back to life should anything happen. But, you can both change that at any point, that is if you feel that it's time."

"Doc, I appreciate you checking in with us on that matter, but we are not changing my daughter's ACP status," Maine's father replied with increased breathing.

The doctor nodded at her parents and looked at them in the eyes.

"I try to keep all of us on the same page so I know that you are aware of the possibilities from this point on. Should anything happen and Maine goes downhill, I just need to tell you that she put both of you in the authority to make decisions for her. I'm sorry we had to have this conversation, Mary Ann, Teddy, but it was necessary. We're still doing everything with Maine's best interest in our minds."

Teddy swallowed the lump in his throat, clenching his jaw that her doctor has considered the worst, but he understood why. He gently rubbed his wife's back and Mary Ann took a deep breath while leaning on her husband.

"Thank you, doc," he managed to say.

The doctor nodded and excused himself to give the couple some alone time.

The health care team has been honest and sympathetic with the Mendoza's, and they knew they were doing what they can for Maine. They just couldn't help question themselves and the people around them, but they weren't blaming anyone. There was no one to blame for what was happening, not even God.

Even with Maine's health status, life didn't stop for the people around her. They took turns staying in the hospital while trying to get through each and every day, even with heavy hearts. After their conversation with the doctor, Teddy left the hospital to check on how things were at home and Mary Ann found her way to the cafeteria where Rio was waiting for her.

"Kamusta na siya?" Mary Ann asked when they sat down after giving each other comforting hugs.

Rio took a deep breath and smiled painfully at her. "Ayun, ganun pa rin. He's still trying to get through this."

Mary Ann nodded and the two mothers reached for each other's hands. They understood each other. Amidst all the pain that both families have gone through, and are going through, they couldn't be more thankful to have each one in their lives.

"Kaya nila toh, Rio. Kaya ng mga anak natin toh."

"Sabi ko nga kay Richard, Maine and RJ deserve to be happy. Sana makuha nila yung happiness na yun, Mary Ann. Napakabuti nilang mga bata."

Maine's mother nodded in agreement and Rio continued to talk.

"Tinanong ako ni RJ," Rio said as tears filled her eyes. "Tinanong niya ako kung bakit daw nangyari toh sa kanila."

Mary Ann swallowed the lump in her throat and wiped her tears while looking straight into the eyes of a hurting mother, just like her.

"Sabi niya, 'Ma, why is life such a tease? I survived what happened to me, met Maine, but only to get to this point where I'm about to lose her and I could possibly go downhill again. Why, ma?'"

"Wala rin akong maisasagot diyan, Rio, pero ang alam ko lang, pareho silang matapang at lalabanan kung ano ang nangyayari. Kung kaya ko lang ibigay sa mga anak natin yung oras para makasama ang isa't isa, binigay ko na."

They hugged each other in understanding and consoled the other as best they could. It was a time of weakness for their children, but it was also a time of strength. Both mothers have endured a lot, but have remained hopeful that in spite of everything, there is a rainbow waiting to come out.

Hours passed again and the youngest in the brood found his alone time with his sister. Dean sat beside Maine and watched for any movement; there was none.

"Menggay, ang daya naman eh," Dean said while he placed his hand on top of hers.

"Diba sabi ko naman sayo, okay lang basta mag pagaling ka? Daya mo oh, we're back here and it feels like hindi na kami makakauwi kasama mo."

Her youngest sibling quickly wiped his tears before they reached his cheeks. "Ang daya niyo ni RJ. You're supposed to be planning for your wedding now, gumising ka na please."

His voice shook while he spoke and his sister found him that way. The usually quiet and annoying little brother could no longer keep it in, in fear of losing a sibling.

"Dean?" Coleen said softly from the door.

"I'm sorry," he said when he got a hold of himself. "I'm just . . . It's just . . . "

"Painful . . . " Coleen said, finishing his sentence. "I know, Dean. Sobra."

She walked over to her siblings, one unconscious in bed and the other in a broken state on a chair. Dean broke down when Coleen took him in her arms. Closing her eyes failed to keep her tears from falling, so she cried quietly while trying to console her brother.

"I love you, Menggay," Dean said, his voice shaking. "I'm not saying it because I'm saying goodbye to you. I'm telling you 'I love you' because I want you to know that I'm waiting for you to wake up again. Ikaw nag-turo sakin nun, to say it to let the people around us know that we love them. Na hindi kailangan may rason para sabihin yun."

Coleen looked up to try and contain her cries but failed to do so, just as Dean's voice continued shaking.

"I know I don't say it out loud, but I love you, Meng. Kaya, please, wake up. Lumaban ka pa. Lumaban ka pa."

Her brother stood up and gave her a kiss on the forehead while Coleen gently put her arm around Maine's abdomen to hug her.

"I love you, Meng."

Similar to what happened when her father spoke to her, tears fell from the corners of her eyes again.

It wasn't long after that when Dean and Coleen noticed her eyes as Maine tried to open them.

"Meng?"

"Dean...Dean let the nurse know!" Coleen instructed her brother who ran to the ICU nurse.

The health care team came within a minute and her siblings stepped out to join the rest of the family outside the window. Their hearts raced as they watched Maine open and close her eyes simultaneously, hoping and praying that she wakes up and stays awake this time.

Inside the ICU, Maine opened her eyes and saw nurses, doctors and respiratory therapists around her.

It was synchronized chaos inside and they could hear instructions and orders being given firmly and acted on. The next fifteen minutes felt like double, or even triple, in time and they held on to each other as they wait for some news.

When a nurse pulled the curtain open from inside, one of the doctors pointed towards the window, showing her parents and siblings, including the Faulkerson's, and they saw that Maine's eyes landed on them.

She closed her eyes again and began slipping in and out of consciousness. When the doctors spoke to her family, they were told that the eye-opening was a good sign, though not an assurance that she out of the woods.

But, in that split second when her eyes landed on her loved ones, she didn't find who she was looking for.

RJ wasn't there.