Second time is a Charm

Chapter 41

Crystal Brown

My whole conversation with Brett on that day replayed in my head. I accused him of taking decisions emotionally, but wasn't I doing the same. My reaction to his new alliance was similar to what he must have experienced when I sent him the photos. I slowly realized the huge mistake I made. I blamed him for being emotional when in fact it was me acting like a robot going about it like a business. I felt ashamed of myself. Here was a man declaring his undying love for me and I was running away from it. There was nothing more pathetic than that.

I understood how he felt, every time he moved forward I pushed him away. I was reluctant to confess my feelings, then couldn't accept his proposal, he literally had to coax me into everything, even though things should have been easy. I was stubborn, head strong and such an ass for putting him through all that.

But now, I had my doubts, my confidence in 'us' was gone. Will he accept me again? How can I show him that I love him unconditionally, like the vast space that we live in with no boundaries. My heart squeezed with the feeling, that I may never be able to declare my love for him ever. I knew if the roles were reversed, I would have never accepted him back, But will he do that? I don't deserve him. He needs someone with no nonsense.

Feeling low again, I had decided I didn't have the strength to talk to Brett and get rejected, so though it was hard I accepted that now my life was going to be dark with burdens of my mistake as I went about my days. I didn't call my parents or Thomas, though they have been leaving messages for me everyday. Abby encourages me everyday to talk to Brett, but I could never bring myself to do it.

With winter setting in, even my garden was asleep and depressing matching my mood. I went about like a robot, going to work and then home to eat and sleep. I was just surviving. I was dead to the world.

So I was surprised to see Gale, early one Saturday morning, with a handful of flowers, dressed so impeccable as usual. He was the last person, I expected to visit me.

"Gale...... What are you doing here?" I asked a little frustrated that he came to visit me.

"Cris... How are you? Can I come in ...Please.." He asked looking to see if any of my neighbors were listening to our conversation.

I hesitated, but then again, I moved and opened the door more, for him to enter. He handed me the flowers, as he walked in taking in the place. I put the flowers in water and vase and left it on the kitchen counter.

"Thank you," I said. When he raised his brow in a question "For the flowers." I replied.

He nodded "that's the least I could do, after what I have put you through." He replied.

When I didn't answer back. He sighed running his hand over his face like he was debating about something in his head.

"Cris. I am very ......very sorry for everything I did and said to you. I love you, and got carried away, with what my parents and the town said about you. I know I put you through hell, I was hurt and I wanted you to experience the same pain that I was going through. I know that nothing was your fault, but I was very stubborn to accept that."

I didn't say anything but felt good to hear him say sorry. But why the sudden change? What made him apologize. Did Thomas tell him?

"I can't believe that my parents went to all those lengths to break us up. I resigned from my father's firm, I moved out of the house they bought us. I am working for a firm in Georgetown. I broke off with Eleanor. I don't want anything to do with that place or those people. .... I still and will always love you, Cris. Is there any chance that we can be together again? We made it work for us to marry once, you think we can go back to that?"

"Why now? What changed?" I asked confused, he was here three years late.

"Brett made me see reason. Actual he told me the truth. He came to me because he thought I was the one sending the pictures, of you and Thomas. He came to ask me to stop all that. When I still tried to sway him away from you, he told me the truth about Thomas. I was shocked and disgusted at myself for accusing you of all those things."

My eyes grew wet, as I heard Gale, accept his mistake, It felt good. I felt a sense of calmness, It was like a hidden burden was off my shoulder. But my heart was still the same, broken. I shook my head no, as I wiped my tears.

"There can never be 'us' again Gale. Three years.....three years... it took another person to make you see the truth. You didn't go searching for it. I may forget the things you did and said, but I can never forgive you or your parents. It was 4 years of torture for me, I had to move away from my town, away from my parents and loved ones, so they could live in peace. All that said. My heart belongs to Brett, Gale. I don't know if I ever have a chance with him again, but my heart will always belong to him." I said sadly.

He nodded his head, moved closer to me, he held my face in both his hand and kissed my forehead before he stepped back.

"I had to try. I can never live with myself if I didn't apologize or tried to make it work again. At least now I know I tried." He said leaving me and walking out.

Something struck in the words that Gale told me. He had to at least try. He had to apologize. I was in the same boat as him. I have to try and have to apologize. But could my heart take the rejection? That I wasn't sure of.

When it rained it poured, Thomas came barging into my home that afternoon, with Jimmy trailing behind him in a leisure pace.

"What is wrong with you Girl? We have been calling you constantly, you don't answer or call back. I was scared I would find a dead body waiting for me here. I lost a few pounds worrying about you. Not complaining as it looks good on me." He shouted holding me by my arms and shaking the hell off me.

Jimmy slowly pried me off his hands and hugged me glaring at Thomas. "How are you Honey?" he asked kissing me on my forehead.

"Not so good.." I replied hugging Jimmy back. "I am sorry for being mean to you when you last visited. I hate myself for putting you guys through all that I did." I sobbed feeling like a bitch and a brat for forcing them to participate in my stupid plan and hurting them in the process.

"That's ok sweety, we forgive you. At least now you have come to your senses." Jimmy said holding on to me. I felt another pair of hand enveloping me, "I forgive you too. I love you Kitty cat. I am glad you realized your mistake." He said squeezing me a little.

I laughed a humorless laugh pulling myself away from their warm cocoon. "I don't know why you put up with me, I wouldn't if I were you," I asked shyly.

"Oh kitty cat, stop being so timid and self-pitying. I want the confident Cris back to kick some ass. I saw the magazines and all the gossip." Thomas said

I tear up again. Thinking of Brett, I felt hands on my shoulder again and fingers wiping my tears.

"Did you talk to him?" Thomas asked softly. I shook my head negatively.

"Shouldn't you be doing that?" Jimmy added.

"He hates me. I was mean and stubborn and hurt him. I don't think he wants me anymore. But I have to apologize for what I did. " I said

"Listen to me Kitty cat. That man worships the ground you walk on. Yes, you were mean and did all that stuff, but you realized your mistake. Now you have to show him what he means to you. Be a woman and claim him. He is yours, you cant back out assuming things. Did he break up with you? Did he use those words?" I shook my head looking at him and hearing the words he said. I felt better, slowly my confidence rose.

"Cris, from what you told us, he has always professed his love for you, he needs to see the same from you. You need to make him realize why he fell in love with you, you need to be the aggressive one, and take what belongs to you. You are not this meek self-pitying woman crying for her lost love. No. You are a positive, assertive, and self-reliant person. Be that again. And go Claim him." Jimmy added

"Can I assume he still loves me and still wants me," I asked biting my lower lip.

"I am sure you feel it Cris. Don't be scared. At least try." Jimmy said holding me again.

"Try?..... take him by the collar and show him who he belongs to..." Thomas shouted holding me and Jimmy in a group hug.