You Know Your Rights!

I Lost Myself

For a minute there
I lost myself, I lost myself
Phew, for a minute there
I lost myself, I lost myself - Radiohead

It was 1990. You were finally coming back from your European tour. I remember you saying how much you loved it over there. I remember you saying how much you loved the scenery and the European people alike. However, you said that Ireland specifically was awakening for you. You said how you felt like you were in a daze while over there. You said the album was a huge success over there, and that it was exhilarating yet scary to know that people actually liked and enjoyed your music. I really couldn't be happier for you.

You said that you were coming home today so I went to pick you up from the airport. When we saw each others figures cross into our lines of sight we immediately embraced each other as if we haven't seen each other in ten years not one.

I walked you back to the old Volvo I drove here and once we got in the car it was only reminiscent of the old days. We laughed, joked, changed the station, and were just talking about pure randomness. It was fun to have you back with me.

"Oi Clar!" You said making a funny face.

"What is it you Crazy Diamond!" I decided to humor you this time.

"I missed you." you said quietly chuckling.

"I love you."

You nuzzled your face into the side of my neck while I was still driving.

"You're the Devil!" You said facetiously.

"Well give me some sympathy, babe."

The rest of the ride home was just us talking about what had transpired in our lives while we were away from each other. While this was going on it started to rain again. It was just another typical day in Seattle.

Once we got to our apartment complex we got out immediately and began to play around in the parking lot while it was still raining. It was just like our first date. However, I suddenly felt a sort of wetness consume my face , and it wasn't from the rain. It was coming only from me and me alone. You noticed this and quickly made your way over to me to see what was wrong.

"Clar what's wrong? Why are you crying?" You said this with all the tenderness in the world as your right hand made it's way to my cheek, and began to softly caress me.

"I don't know? I feel so happy. I really am. I don't know why I'm crying." , I looked down slightly embarrassed to admit this to anyone let alone you of all people. "I guess I just feel like one day you'll leave me like everyone else did. They just used me once then destroyed me. I fear you'll grow tired or worse yet distasteful of me. I'm a buzz kill to be around. I don't want to be alone anymore. And, I'm scared that you'll leave me alone permanently in the future, and I won't be able to find you again."

You immediately brought me towards your chest in an effort to try and comfort me. My weeping turned into almost inaudible sniffling. I just pushed closer into your chest as I felt the need to be enraptured in your warmth like a blanket.

"Clar, I'll never leave you. I wouldn't dream of it." You slightly patted my head and pulled me closer towards you as we finally began to make our way into the apartment complex. I was always a huge crybaby. But yet you were always there to comfort me, when my despair overcame me and tried to drown me. You were always there to pull me out of that sea of sorrow.

Once we made our way we stripped ourselves of our clothing only leaving the bare minimum on. We both sat on the couch staring up at the ceiling fading into and out of reality constantly. After what may have been thirty minutes of just doing nothing you got up to get your acoustic guitar. You began tuning it while I began to try and harmonize with you. It was always so calm and serene being around you.

After fifteen minutes of just doing complete nonsense you abruptly stopped playing and promptly sat your guitar down. I sat up completely puzzled as to why you stopped playing.

"Clar, come here." You motioned over for me to come to you. Over course I couldn't turn you down on that, so I swiftly made my way towards your side of the couch and sat directly next to you.

However, you didn't seem content with that so you gently picked me up, and sat me on your lap. You began to softly kiss my face and neck. I curled my hands into your hair, but after a while it turned into moans and groans, and us trying to strip ourselves of the remainder of our clothing.

Your kisses and hand movements turned more aggressive and much more ferocious and desperate. What seemed like forever of fighting for dominance you gained the upper hand on me and slipped inside of me. I gasped loudly not being used to the feeling of you inside me.

When you moved inside of me I felt whole and like one. It was like the colors from inside of me exploded from within my being and bled into yours. It was all too euphoric. It was too heavenly to describe. It was like just being able to see color for the first time as the boring shades of black and white that surrounded us faded away into some sort of rainbow. I felt the colors of our emotions bled into each other to create a new color that only you and me knew of. We morphed into one that night. If it weren't for you I would've lost myself.

A/N: This is my third time publishing this chapter. Wattpad keeps taking down my work for some reason. Anyway I've been gone for a while because school started back up, and midterms are coming up. Don't worry I'll still be updating just not as frequently. Sorry for the delay.